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what do we do now?
it’s quiet; too much silence is dark for me
i hear you without noise so it’s Loud for me
every road turns, every light burns
and that's what’s hard for me
can we ever be prepared to be
this broken, confused, it’s hard to breathe
can we Wake Up, thumbs up, it was all a dream
lost a friend I never touched
never question he touched me
it’ll get better we will find a way
after we grieve and drown and float away
and I’m not ashamed to say
I’m hurtin a little more today.
mac miller
I'm lost right now.
trying to find a balance
of what keeps me living and what
keeps me sane,
what is exhilarating versus what is plain.
Cause I miss that feeling
of shaking the ceiling,
convincing myself
its something I needed.
It was so fast, I was alive.
Now I'm just slowly dying,
screaming to the world,
I'm bleeding.
She's been there before,
more than once and more than a few.
I knew she was genuine
just from her tattoo.
And I wonder if she knew
that I wanted to be her friend.
And I wonder if she knew
that her smile stayed in my head.
Though her mask was thick.
Though her front was quick,
She had something special,
but nothing I could fix.
And that's what I hated
Like the sun being shaded
Like the ocean being green
and not blue.
And I knew what she needed
was someone who believed it
that she had actually been there too.
I wanted her to scream
I wanted her to explode.
I wanted to see what the
others didn't know.
She has her strengths,
she lost what she never had.
But she still smiles
when she talks about her past.
She talks to herself more than you'd think.
And she thinks more even than you'd even believe.
So she's always going,
making sure others smile.
When she aches for something
real for such a while.
Her sadness make me ache
Her heart makes me cry
Her pain makes me crumble
as tears fill her eyes.
And she laughs as she breaks
like it doesn't mean a thing
but I know her heart
is falling apart.
So I ask her please,
"What do you need?"
And I know what it is,
Yet she say it's nothing.
The thought has entered my mind
with no intention of leaving.
Yet I don't even fight it
with my will of believing.
I know I've missed some sunsets,
ducked away from photographs.
And I wish I could take it all back
But the hope is too much to act.
With silver linings lost now,
I'm not sure how to continue
It's as if I'm waiting for something
Maybe its good, maybe it's new.
or maybe it's you.
I'm searching for the answers, but not too hard.
I like living in the hole, it's worked so far.
I don't know better, I can't see clearer,
but this is all I know and the rest I fear.
It's usually known as a blade against the skin.
But I don't remember which world we're living in.
I wonder what time it is again
What time is it again?
Medicated educated doesn't matter anymore
Whatever helps is what I'm looking for.
To numb my life, make a distraction.
My happiness is skin deep,
so I make up with my actions.
The abyss
seems endless.
Yet I am
nearing infinity.
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