Courage in a syringe that keeps me focused. Something I buy just like a cup of coffee. It looks glamorous in a movie, but the reality really *****. I surrender to the need that keeps me going. I deal with people that look ok, but will hurt you without thinking. I pay for the habit anyway I can. Doing what I must to keep it together. All I think about is how it hurts sometimes. I can't make it off of the Merry Go Round, believe me I have tried. Clean and Sober is just a saying, the reality is that I am addicted. No end, no glamor, just a truth of a cycle that I have to maintain and hope I don't crash before I can find an exit to my dependence on drugs.

Don’t you ever make claims that you’ve moved on,
when the scribbles on your notebook will prove otherwise.
Don’t you ever assume that you have forgotten,
when a phone number you should have gotten rid of,
will prove you ridiculous.

I need somethin to set me in motion
Somethin which will electrify my emotions
My life is so dull, no commotion
I want somethin to happen, a life no longer frozen

Is this some sort of lesson
My body's just stressin
I got nothin to be confessin
Just bored and depressin

Wish it was just over
Life threw me over the border
Got nothin, just getting colder
****
Give me somethin to look back on when I'm older

She wants to go home, but nobody's home. It's where she lies, broken inside.