I sit in the rain
pondering the days away
as the drops coalesce down my body
little drops of gray skies above and below
pitter patter in beat with my heart
days these are when old days come alive
when I sit around and think back on life
I look at lost memories
they slowly fade away
they melt into the ground like rain
time is slowly running out
grain by grain
slipping through tiny cracks between my delicate fingers
trying to grasp each
slipping away like it never existed
weathering away at tiny pieces with the passing winds
taking away what wasn't it's to take
these hands of mine trying to make sand into glass
entering me from deep within
hitting my soul and shattering it
worn away by the trials of life
when old beats new
and the days descend
that's when living my life will begin
rain shadows over my life
singing out a sad song
for my individual gloomy days
building up puddles of memories
taking away my sadness
and taking away the nonexistent ray
bearing the truths through my eyes
and slipping it through my soul

Pouring my heart out onto paper
Writing it in the blood I shed
flowing out of my veins in never ending rivulets
the crimson stains penetrating
crying out from my constantly bleeding heart

Dying and flaking out
being swept away in the never ending breeze, the winter
chipping away at whatever's left behind
nothing but dead and hollow dreams left
a million invisible pieces of shattered heart
floating around the world never to be brought together again

I tried to hide behind my walls of seclusion,
behind beautiful words bound together.
Believing you wouldn't, couldn't see me.
I write the words not because I want to,
but because I have to.
It's my only link to freedom, to reality.
Walking the ghostly hallways of life.
going unnoticed in this big world.
A nobody is all I am,
drowning out all the noise around me.
Moving through days in a zombified stupor,
wanting to break free of the never ending cycle,
but loving the cycle nevertheless.

After the door shuts and the footsteps die
the truth comes out that I wish to hide
skeletons stack up and gather in my closet
pulling the truth out of a tight lipped pocket

Closing my eyes wishing it all away
wishing I could run instead of stay
I hide and hide my feelings from you
hoping you have the same feelings too

I open the door and there you are
my own personal shining star
you don't have to be anything to gain my love
your love is as pure as a dove

Stealing my heart with all you are
I wish this love to go very far
but you took my love
and gave it a huge shove

Tearing it to all kinds of shred
making me feel buried and dead
I take the pieces left and run
feels like you shattered my heart with a gun

Sitting in my own puddle of tears
reminiscing all of our greatest years
The damage is now over and done
trying now to make again myself one

Slowly you start to fade away,
Slowly and painfully day by day.
The agonizing truth of your life.
And how you were never the ultimate wife.

Your faltering fate of what is to come,
Is slowly, but surely coming undone.
Trying to impress,
But always coming out as second best.

Goodbye was the hardest for you and me,
I felt like I was drowning in an endless sea.
Consumed by the grief you left with me.
It tore me up bit by bit.

I saw you when you withered into dust,
and when you looked into my eyes with endearing trust.
But goodbye were the hardest for you and me,
But you'll be happier you just wait and see.

So empty and lonely that's all I am,
I'll never feel enough for any man.
You use me for you own pleasure,
And make me feel like a useless newfound treasure,
Never noticing my displeasure.
Casting me off when you are done.
You're constantly using me for your own fun.
Will we ever be more than friends?
Or do our paths in consequently end?
I sit and sit by your side,
Only for me to hide.
My true feelings you'll never know,
Constantly as they grow for you.
The courage I have is so little and few.
So now my heart is cold as stone,
all the way to my bones.
I sit quietly and I stare,
Waiting for your grueling glare.