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 Nov 2015 Yorkehead
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Darling it's been 2am choking tears and bittersweet memories for some time now. It's been 6am regrets and waiting for the 'good morning' text that just doesn't come. It's been 12pm fake smiles and trying not to write your name on my maths book. It's been 5pm listening to our songs as my eyes water and my chest is heavy with remembrance of you. It's been 7pm ice cold showers because it's the only thing that makes me feel alive since you left. Darling it's been the 8pm poems I try so hard not to write, but the pile just gets higher - filled with thoughts of you. Oh, it's been 10pm prayers for you to come back and 11pm wishes, wishes for just another 60 seconds with you. To make it all right again. And when reality and the realization of what you've turned me into hits, suddenly it's 12am hate, disgust and blame. I feel so stupid, so used and worthless. But you still remind me of perfection and I crave your affection. Then it's 2am again and I can't believe I've been doing this for so long.
I was 15 when I wrote this and it still hurts thinking back. I don't think it will ever not break my heart a little when I think of us.

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