Every day
I’m Under Pressure
Like there’s a Bowie knife at my neck
Held by the Queen as she strokes her pet Cheshire
I feel so lost
I’m stranded on an island
Trying to guess the weather
Like the Professor
But whatever
I’ll keep digging for my treasure
The oppressor
Tries to securely hold me down
On a stretcher
God bless her
But the measure of a man is not judged on whether he falls down
It’s if he gives up and stays there forever
I take great pleasure
In being the aggressor
And annoyingly laughing in her face
Like Fran Drescher
Every day
I try to find a better feather
To flock with
But this ******* cold weather
Keeps me grounded
Like I’m tethered
One day
On the wings of a zephyr
I’ll take a flight
That takes me home
To visit with John Denver

They came at me from all angles
Mortals and angels
But I’m still standing despite all the dangers
Heisenberg tried with his ricin beans
Stood toe to toe with Tyson when he was lean and mean
Knocked out Grandpa Joe when he began to sing
But now it’s time for the final battle
Gonna make the heavens rattle
I’ll **** you like cattle
Until you finally respond on God TV channel
There’s a reason you stay shrouded behind a cloud
You ain’t so proud and loud now
Your creation has crowded out anything from the natural world
So put em up, Boomer
I ain’t afraid of you
You’re just a preacher teaching doom and gloom
Behind a curtain
But I’m pretty certain
That you’d **** yourself if Toto entered the room
Oh so no response from you
Just looking on from the great beyond
All nonchalant
While the great buffoon from Amazon
Booked a flight to space with no remorse
Of course you can’t solve all of our problems
I’ll pay you some homage  
You gave us awesome knowledge
But we’re more interested in the dollar  
So as long as our wallets remain bottomless
We thoughtlessly toss toxins at the jobless
But we do solemnly swear
That we’ll do the planet a solid
Before Rome’s columns have fallen
But it’s a promise that smells like rotten *******

My radar didn’t detect
A shred of evidence
That our relationship was wrecked
Like a ship swept away by am immense sea behemoth
I tried to tread water
Like a feckless idiot
Left adrift breathlessly helpless off the coast of Texas  
Most of our relationship
Was a desperate attempt
To stave off relentless loneliness
Like Elvis felt after spending hellish hours on stage gyrating his pelvis
Now your pillow is scentless
You said our love was endless  
A Celtic necklace placed on the velvet  
It’s time to draw my lance and end this with senseless violence

All day
Wrestling with my emotions
Can’t get off the mat
Deafening questions bounce of the walls
Menacing intentions as I step down the hall
My obsession with depression
Has slowed my progression  
I scheduled a therapy session
But I canceled at seven  
With acute indigestion
Don’t confuse my excuse for being aloof
Like a spider I’m a recluse
Fighting the urge to drink all the *****
The burden of proof falls squarely on you

The day that I lost you
I lost a piece of me
Like when we lost Layne
It started to rain
Now I sit at your grave and weep
Experiencing phantom pain
Random ocean waves of emotion
Flood over me
Bro we were blood
Forever destined to be
But now here’s your final resting place
Where’s my saving grace?
In my mind
I can barely remember your face
I can’t believe you won the race
To the ******* pearly gates
It was supposed to be me
Who took the early journey
To feel hell’s eternal fury
But I’m still here
A complete ******* disgrace
I’ll always shoulder this heavy weight
Pushing that boulder day to day
That’s my Sisyphean fate.

Cheek pressed against the floor
Squinting into the darkness
Thinking I just saw glinting eyes
Really no surprise to me
That demon’s been hiding
Ever since my drinking days
Biding his time until I showed
Just a little bit of weakness
Now’s not the time to freak out
Old memories start to leak out
My sobriety is in jeopardy
A drink would be like a bullet to the head
Just like Kennedy
I thought those 12 steps mended me
At least that’s what was portended to be
No offense intended
But I’m still ******* tormented

When I die
Take a moment to smile
Laugh
Or even cry
Brighten my day with obligatory stories
About our glory days
When we’d crush our opponent on the field
Then after the game
Speed away
The only things we needed were a full tank
Great tunes
And a sixer between our legs
Some of you may remember how I used to brag
That I was so clever
Taking any numbers the presenter fed into my membrane center
Processing them like a human calculator  
Boggling and dazzling any onlookers present
Maybe you wonder if I hold any resentment
Since I didn’t take the path of least resistance
I tried to coexist within a twisted system
Make my way without viciously winning
But I just became another statistic
Beaten down by the sadistic traditions of Satan’s assistants 
Now at least I’m at peace resting in pieces
Deceased but no longer diseased
Relieved and pleased that I had my chance to breathe
Before I leave
And Take the final eternal leap
Please keep in mind
Death is always creeping behind
The Reaper with a signed lease
Yearning to drag you to infernal sleep

God is made in my image
A man full of fear
Grimacing as my looks diminish
The one I see in the mirror
God is made in my image
A skittish sinning queer
Swimming in a sea of despair
Shaking behind this veneer
God is made in my image
A fine vintage of yesteryear
Winning a high percentage
Pillaging villages on this sphere

Friends until the end they say
But they twist and bend
That word
Like blazing hot iron
Until they can defend
Looking to the sky and whistling
When you shuffle by you still miss them
I muzzle myself without raising a question.
Do that enough times you’ll go crazy
But here in fantasy land y’all still praise me
I’ll say this as affably as I can convey
Stay the **** away from me
Before
I start lobbing grenades your way
I’m done articulating
Or trying to persuade anyone
To be my friend
Until the end

So here’s my confession
I grabbed a bottle of pills
and 750 mils of Crystal Head
To cure all my ills
But I woke up a zombie instead
Waves of emotions swept over me like a tsunami
Threadbare sanity was lost to existential dread
Like when Hannity wept when Biden was too far ahead.
The pain in my head kept spreading
I couldn’t explain why
So I grabbed a ******* drill
Shrill voices and ghosts evacuated my head
I was turned inside out, raw and red
Still all my choices reverberated in the hills
So I went back to the lab
With my pen and pad
Clickety clack clickety clack
My thumb hit that button
Monotonous motion
Trying to extract
From a bottomless stack
Numb emotions that I volleyed forth and back
Silly me seriously thought
Spilling black ink deliriously
Would be better than being cast away in a padded pen

It’s one been of those days
Filled with so much pain
My tears are falling down like mother ******* rain
I’m bawling
As I’m trying to call out your name
But you’re gone
You left with a dude named John
That was probably a shrewd move
Since all I do
Is brood, place blame
And eat copious amounts of food
I can still hear your Mad Hatter laughter
Pointing as I got fatter
It’s disappointing I can’t control my own bladder
So I’ll just sit here while I moan and blather
Maybe stroke my bone but I’d really rather
Steal you back from that ******* bloke
Baby I’ll do that thing where I choke you
With a black telephone cord
Until your face turns 40 shades of blue
And your heart races like a revved up Ford
We will work ourselves into a lather
Our sweaty bodies will **** and spasm
A spontaneous simultaneous ******
After we’re through we will laugh and say
Pointing to the grocery store clerk
Clean up in aisle two you voyeuristic ****

I’m at the crossroads again
Have to make a decision but I don’t know where to begin
A bloated incision is about to burst
What’s gonna pop out
Hopefully a grin
Cuz it’s been days since the sunshine hit my face

This **** stings it really hurts
With every step my tears hit the dirt
With every breath I surrender self worth
So I speak of death with every word

The mystique of leaving paints every verse
Techniques roll slowly by like a hearse
Reading the holy guides won't coerce
I'm sliding off this ******* perverse Earth

Gliding over to the closet to grab my steel
I decided to **** back during my last meal
Jesus's flock awaits as does Ezekiel's wheel
The pearly gates unlock with a wretched squeal

Even in utter darkness
Deprived of all my senses
I can still hear her calling out my name
If I had arms I would reach out
To touch the subtle wave
Of her tantalizing voice
But this is my hell
Unattainable
Untouchable
Forevermore on continuous loop
No matter how hard I try
To claw at my soul
Your sticky sweet voice
Reverberates in the aether
In every crack and space
Of eternity
This is my hell
My hell
My hell
My hell

Clover and thistles adorn my view;
the tress stretch majestically above.
There's also dandelions, but only a few
the wind whispers sweet nothings of love

The sky stares down into my soul;
the lazy clouds thick with recollection.
I float away from all earthly goals;
to join myself in deep introspection.  

There I find her sitting in full lotus;
batting her eyelashes with rainbow skin
I crawl slowly towards her like a tortoise;
her mind reaches out to bring me in.

She gently molds me like softened clay;
her electric touch raises my skin.
The useless parts are cast far away.
Her bellowing voice says "begin again!"

My eyes bolt open to the sound of thunder;
A soft summer rain begins to fall.
Was that just a dream I began to wonder;
or will I be a changed man after all.

Inspiration is gone.
A starfish left to die by the unblinking tides
Words stopped dead by haunting voices.
Turn and run my foolish friends
Bursts of light trapped in infinite darkness.
The song of hope will never crease my lips again

I remember the day that dad brought you home.
You were barking and jumping after that plastic bone.
Your eyes met mine and your tongue found my face.
You were my first real friend who couldn't be replaced.

We spent the days running around the neighborhood trees.
You were always the first to come when I skinned my knees.
When I jumped in the lake you'd run along the shore.
And then you'd catch a scent and run off to explore.

During my teenage years girls entered my mind.
I know you waited by the window under the blinds.
But even though I barely even scratched your ears.
You stayed by my side during those troubled years.

As I packed up my things to start my college life.
I turned around to notice you with a tear in your eye.
Memories flooded my head with the good times together.
We looked at each other and knew we'd be best friends forever.

A few years later I received a call that twisted my head.
My dad said that you'd fallen ill and would soon be dead.
They took you to the vet to try to find a helpful answer.
After all the poking and tests they said that you had cancer.

Well I came home to visit you during your final days.
I could tell the end was near by your distant gaze.
Although you were seconds away from heaven's place.
You lifted your head to have one last lick of my face.  

Now that I'm married and have a kid who turned ten.
It's time to head to town to start the cycle again.
I can't wait for his eyes to light up when I come in the door.
It'll be one of those memories that I'll remember forever more.

A boy of eight sat quietly behind a closed door.  
He lost himself in his made up places.
Staying put in reality had become quite a chore.  
Sweat streamed down his face as his mind raced.

The fighting had escalated past screams and yells.
Bloodied lips and bruised faces were now the norm.  
He's tried to concoct incantations and spells.  
To construct a shelter against the growing storm.  

One day he learned that she was leaving for another.  
His entire world would be flipped upside down.  
He knew every little boy needed a loving mother.  
He was ravaged with pain as he wore his thorny crown.  

His father made ends meet as a single dad.  
But the bottle soon became his only friend.  
He watched from a distance but was quite sad.  
Not even his hug made his dad’s sorrow end.

The boy began his tumultuous teenage years.  
The father remarried but it was shallow tonic.  
The boy found his relief in a shower of beer.  
The father stood in the shadows, isn't that ironic?

The boy became a man but kept the pain within. Morals and ethics were lost in a strangled haze.  
He decided to move to the city of lights and sin.
There he met someone and was completed amazed.

His name was Mark and the streets was where he dwelled.
He talked of freedom and the power of belief.    
He spoke softly but the exuberance he expelled.  
Changed his life like the color of an Autumn leaf.

He found his purpose thanks to a vagrant man.  
He left that city and vowed never to return.  
As he travelled back his eyes began to scan.  
Somewhere in Utah his soul started to yearn

He pulled off the road and saw a visual scene.  
There were canyons of color and a voiceless song.  
Infinity sat before him as God intervened
He finally found a place where he belonged

He stayed in the landscape for about a week.  
He made promises to the night that he swore he'd keep.  
As he drove away a tear streamed down his cheek.  
It was time to get back to the world of sheep.

He went back home and settled into his old routine. The beers flowed and the good times ensued.  
He had already forgotten what had kept him clean.  
His plan to leave again was a vision that was skewed.  

He got behind the wheel of his beat up car.  
The city of sin awaited with her unfurled legs.
Fortunately for him he didn't get very far.  
The oil spilled from the engine like a broken keg.

Little did he know that fate had stepped in.  
He took a job he planned only on keeping for a while.  
One night he heard the door open and lifted his chin.  
There walked in an angel with a school girl’s smile.

I’m guessing you already know the rest of the plot
He knew he loved her long before they ever met.  
She knew his soul was everything she sought.
To this day he’s forever in a homeless man's debt.

I'm on the verge of insanity.
I'm about to cross over the center line.
Please stop stroking my vanity.
My hopeful eyes have lost their shine.
Place that jacket around my eggshell.
Lead me back to a mournful room.
A fissure runs down the side of my bell.
Give me meds that will make me bloom.
Give me a reason to open my eyes.
I would love to dance at dusk.
Turn my soul the color of sunrise.
Make me more than a hollow husk.
If my weekend stay doesn't ease my troubles.
If my reason of thought doesn't return.
Somehow I'll try to rise from the rubble.
If not give this body back to the worms.
Because my spirit is quite perceptive.
It's only this body that drives it mad.
I'm sure my being is more than receptive.
To lose this shell that is numbingly bad.

A terrible sunrise stains my face;
bloodied cheeks and a bruised chin.
My heart doesn't belong to this place;
lost in a maze of pain deep within.

A rusty sigh escapes my scarred lips;
still trembling from a night of terror.
Why must I always follow the same script;
every decision I make is a fatal error.

Slowly I try to climb out of my bed;
but the glue of fear holds me fast.
Just hurry and bury me, I'm already dead;
my chest moves but my spirit has passed.

Please lift me up to a celestial sphere;
where the welcoming Spring wind swirls
At a cool spring drinks an innocent deer;
This newborn child dances and whirls.

Butter

Alone with strangers in a cold dark place.
No sense of emotion, not even a trace.
The doors remain shut and the light stays off.
Beneath my hard exterior I grumble and scoff.

Who needs the warmth that the sun provides.
I do just fine or so my mind decides.
Suddenly the doors open and a hand reaches out.
I feel oily fingers and I stifle a shout.

A feeling of vertigo washes over my tub.
I begin to fly like a cheerful cherub.
There's a wrenching feeling as my lid is removed.
I'm stabbed through the heart, my body is grooved.

The feeling of pain only lasts a short time.
Then a feeling overtakes me that is quite sublime.
I feel myself softening in the daytime heat.
For the first time ever my heart begins to beat

I'm alive I shout and my soul begins to love.
The emotions fit me perfectly just like a glove.
Is this what I've been missing my entire life?
Maybe I'll ask Mrs. Butterworth to be my wife.

With a start I begin to move towards the box.
If I had hands I would struggle and throw rocks.
No I wordlessly scream as I head into the light.
I can feel the cold air and my soul turns white.

Some time passes by and the hardening begins.
I really prefer to be alone here in the bin.
I'll stay here with the darkness as my friend.
Better than to fall in love and lose it all in the end.

Here’s a little bit of a warning
When I write it’s rarely boring
My words bite, darkness forming
Internal fight, thoughts pouring
Onto the page
I’m like a caged beast
To say the least
Filled with white hot rage.
I need a priest
To purge with holy water
All these urges to slaughter
Those who doubt but never bother
To wave or even say hello
When a bout of depression
Makes me relive my transgressions
It was a grave situation
So here’s my confession
I grabbed a bottle of pills
To cure all my ills
But I woke up, I wasn’t dead
Instead I served a 3 day tour
Thank God it was all blur
All I remember was the lime jello.

I’m past the point of no return
My stomach churns
The die has been cast
My heart hurts, in fact it burns
All the lies made in the dark
We made a pact that this would last
But those weren’t facts
I just lacked the self control
To sever what should have been a night of bliss
But your twisted kiss
And your devilish sarcasm
As I reveled in *******
My brain faltered
10 months later I was at the altar
Now I’m old and balder
With 4 nearly grown daughters
I was told to own my mistakes
When I was younger
Come hell or high water
A church bell rings as I rake this leaf strewn sod
I take a break to pray to God
And search for a ray of hope
Maybe a birch where I can tie my rope
And swing one last time and finally be free
No regrets, only relief
As the noose stifles my screams
There’s time for one last dream
Before darkness envelopes me

I’ve never been the best father
Too depressed to bother
Scarred by a selfish mother
Who ran away with her lover
I’ve repressed and smothered
Marred emotions under my vest
I’ve regressed
Heart beat has been altered
That ******* shrink doctor
Thinks it’s my brain and not my chest
Pushing pills I can’t digest
To a therapist I confessed
A quest to slit my wrists
My sheets a ****** mess
Blessed smile not distressed
Body turns an ashen color
For the best little daughters

Today
I was filled with dread
Depression made me wish I was dead
So I pulled the covers over my head
And went back to bed

A man stares unthinking beneath the golden leaves.
The first winds of autumn chill his restless soul. He slowly begins to unroll his sleeves.
As he gets ready to take his nightly stroll.

He hears the sun's nails screech against the darkening sky.
Leaving behind a beautiful yet ****** scene. Many times he's witnessed this ritualistic goodbye.
One of the few times he feels more man than machine.

As the inky night surrounds him he hears a familiar song.
Suddenly the sidewalk turns into a glittering trail.
His cells begin to vibrate although the scene is wrong.
The whole world feels translucent and hopelessly frail.

He eagerly begins his journey towards the land of the dead.
The angelic voices cajole and lead him by the hand.
He willing goes to where others fear to tread. He can't resist their heavenly command.

He slips through the veil that separates our worlds.
He quickly joins them in their circular dance.
He effortlessly moves and cries as he twirls.
His ears can now comprehend their unearthly chants.

We may be buried underneath the cold, dark soil.
But we'll never die because our souls are eternal. Someday you'll join us and cast away your shell. One day you'll see there's neither heaven or hell.

He can't fathom leaving this peaceful terrain. The veil starts to separate and he feels the biting night.
To leave now will certainly cause him to go insane.
But he still belongs to his body and the time isn't right.

He walks slowly home and tries to gather his wits.
The moment that he shared is already fading like a dream.
He already doubts that he rollicked with the spirits.
He has to stifle a maniacal scream.

Perpetual numbness surrounds me.
Voices echo off distant walls.
Undefined feelings circulate within.
I remain suspended above myself.  

What do I see?
A grim version of a child
Slogging through space and time.
While fields of flowers remain out of reach.

Twilight casts grey shadows around me.
Threatening clouds envelope the sky.
Cold drizzle can't penetrate me.
Lifeless soul escaped long ago.

Per my request, as the sun dipped low, my ashes were spread to and fro.
The music played, children twirled, as memories flowed of my place in this world.
It was time to move on, everyone knew, I battered myself black and blue
I feigned many smiles, like everyone tries, but I grew tired of a life of lies
So I grabbed a bottle, benzos I believe, swallowed them all with a sigh of relief.
Judge me if you'd like, I'm sure you will, but life had lost the luster and thrill.
That's not my concern, you see I'm dead, death is for the living to fear and dread.

7 billion people in the world
Against all odds
Yet here you are

Depression has left a deep impression
In the middle of my chest
My aggression and anger will never rest
An infection circulating in my bloodstream
I’m a kettle percolating letting off steam
Unsettled every night screaming while I dream
Disheveled I fight as I swim upstream
Drenched in sweat despite the frigid night
Fists ready to scuffle to save my pride
Clenched so tight my knuckles are white
Can’t function no matter how hard I try
Hell bent on destruction I’m ready to die
Cells underwent disruption just a little pain
Content with the combustion in my brain

My heart hit the floor
The moment I heard the door close
A wilted rose
Jilted lover writing prose to those
That will never understand the pain
Of seeing you with the one you chose
A silent mist drizzles down
Love’s fire fizzles on the ground
A frown as I begin to drown
Is it just my tears
And not really rain falling all around.

Tomorrow
Just another day without you
Only gray
Not even blue
I’m so numb
Can I borrow your heart
So I’m not glum

I see a blue bird out my window, casting a shadow, a tear runs down my face.
I go lay my head on a pillow, trying to chill though, I feel so out of place.
These pills supposed to mellow, instead I bellow, **** this rat in the ******* race.

A razor blade
Has now made
My wrists bliss
I’ll give God a kiss

I’m now ash
Teary lash
In the wind
Have I sinned

Don’t miss me
I’m happy
If anything
I’m the king

God’s a rather tricky fellow, his horns yellow, need a fan to cool off this space.
There’s no clouds that billow, just some sickos, burning without a trace.
Now I’m a weeping willow, my brain jello, suicide ain’t a walk of grace.

I’m now burning
All this fury
Engulfed soul
Slaughtered foal

Blood has spilled
Goat is thrilled
Body baste
Have a taste

Eternity
A certainty
So you win
Scream within

A looming gray slate
Just another date
On the calendar
Maybe I frowned or
Grimaced in hate
My self imposed fate

Computer screen flickers
I start to bicker
Haranguing at death
With liquor on my breath
No argument or dicker
Makes the reaper come quicker

Pain over comfort
La petite mort yogurt
Brings no satisfaction
Just a fraction of reaction
Accentuating the hurt
As the squirt hits the dirt.

Clover and thistles adorn my view;
the tress stretch majestically above.
There's also dandelions, but only a few
the wind whispers sweet nothings of love

The sky stares down into my soul;
the lazy clouds thick with recollection.
I float away from all earthly goals;
to join myself in deep introspection.  

There I find her sitting in full lotus;
batting her eyelashes with rainbow skin
I crawl slowly towards her like a tortoise;
her mind reaches out to bring me in.

She gently molds me like softened clay;
her electric touch raises my skin.
The useless parts are cast far away.
Her bellowing voice says "begin again!"

My eyes bolt open to the sound of thunder;
A soft summer rain begins to fall.
Was that just a dream I began to wonder;
or will I be a changed man after all.

Hey John can you tell me how you've been.
The world has been a nightmare with no end
Since you were shot and dropped your pen
Can you help us remember how to imagine again

Whether heaven is real or just a big old fake
Seems trivial while the Earth trembles and quakes
Your far out ideas created a peaceful wake.
But now we're screaming in Hell's boiling lake

Have you noticed we still fight over imaginary lines
Generals get off ripping out young men's spines
The congregation still drinks blood from steins
Mega churches are built like ******* shrines

It sure is embarrassing and I'm sure your sad
That we'd rather shoot instead of lending a hand
Our brothers and sisters are hungry in far off lands
Yet the war pigs keep us fighting in shifting sands.

They had to **** you to silence your peaceful dream
Your message of love made the dominator scream
Now everyone's addicted to plastic that gleams
Worshiping an apple while their master schemes.

Someone
A rueful smile mistaken for kindness.
Stone faced strangers callously staring through my cries.
Deaf ears unable to hear my pleas for mercy.
Uncaring eyes watching my insane words tumble from my mind.
Anyone
Anything but this
Please hold my head as I drill the hole.
May the ghosts of yesterday find their peace in the sunrise of today.
Alone
Spiraling towards peaceful oblivion
Beyond pain and hope.
Cascades of light enveloping my being.
The collective one dances to the mid-summer's breeze
Stillness within perpetual motion.
My tears are dried.
I am you and you are me.
Completion

As I'm sitting and waiting for the Eastern glow.
The same words repeat over and over again in my head.
An ending or a new beginning. An ending or a new beginning.
Is there really a difference or will that tiger endlessly chase its tail?

I was never born nor will I ever die.
This is the truth revealed behind the veil.
All worries are gone, lost in the shifting sands of impermanence
As I once was I will be again.
Care to dance?

I shall not shed a tear as I leave this place.
For my heart is full and pure.
I'm like a cloud diminishing without a trace.
The echo of my voice will remain through the years.

The depth of pain he's feeling can't be described.
He walks the halls alone with no one by his side.
He's slammed into a locker or punched in the face.
There's nowhere to escape in this scholarly place.

He walks home burning.  
His world has stopped turning.
His heart holds a yearning.  
His stomach is churning.

He goes into his dad's room to look under the bed.
The colors in his mind swirl a ****** red.
He grabs the gun and begins to plan their demise.
For once he'd like to see the fear of God in their eyes.

He slowly walks to school.
He won't be anyone's fool.
His bag holds revenge's tool.
They'll stop whipping the mule.

When he walks through the door everything goes black.
He blindly squeezes the trigger during his insane attack.
The screams and pain around him don't reach his ears.
When the bullets run out his eyes begin to stream tears.

He drops to the cold floor.
Did he cause this gore?
His soul spills from his core.
He's wide awake once more.

Later that day he sits alone in a cramped cell.
He already knows that he's been ****** to hell.
He wishes that he could change the fury he showed.
But he was a ticking time bomb ready to explode.

He prays for his soul.
This was never the goal.
He's dug his own hole.
He hears the bell toll.

A terrible sunrise stains my face;
bloodied cheeks and a bruised chin.
My heart doesn't belong to this place;
lost in the maze of pain deep within.

A rusty sigh escapes my scarred lips;
still trembling from a night of terror.
Why must I always follow the same script;
every decision I make is a fatal error.

Slowly I try to climb out of my bed;
but the glue of fear holds me fast.
Just hurry and bury me, I'm already dead;
my chest moves but my spirit has passed.

Please lift me up to a celestial sphere;
where the welcoming Autumn wind swirls
At the cool spring drinks a newborn deer;
This newborn child dances and whirls.

I'm surrounded by demons, butchers, and ******;
menacing, chopping, and down on all fours.
They're trying to take away what is rightfully mine;
by enticing with goodies that are tasty and fine.

My will is weakening, breaking, and now shattered;
their voices cajole, promise, and flatter.
Dizzily I stumble towards a celebratory fire;
and happily climb to the top of my funeral pyre.

The flames danced, engulfed, and burned my shell; a
s the ancients danced, laughed, and dragged me to hell.
My voice grew hoarse from the incessant screaming;
as I tried to pinch myself as I knew I was dreaming.

Now I'm surrounded by the wretched, weak, and insane;
begging for a drink, ice, or a drop of cooling rain.
Was it worth falling prey to all those earthly treasures?
It depends on your definition of pain and pleasure .

For I quite enjoy the brimstone, inferno, and heat;
as the Devil chuckles, tortures, and eats ****** meat.
A ******* I am, and a ******* I'll remain;
I believe I've finally found my heavenly domain.

I don't have anything left to give.
My spirit left long ago.
Shine and paint my pretty shell;
until satisfaction reaches your lips.

Laughter hurts my tortured soul.
A smile knifes through my veins.
A hug crushes my fragile bones.
Your love accentuates the pain.

Inertia keeps moving me in linear time;
as my dull eyes search the clock.
Ticking away until the body gives;
and I reunite with the cosmic whole.

Laughter hurts my tortured soul.
A smile knifes through my veins.
A hug crushes my fragile bones.
Your love accentuates the pain.

Release into the infinite offers some relief.
A deep breath escapes my lips;
as the void swallows my earthly fears.
Now I float in pure amniotic bliss.

Laughter hurts my tortured soul.
A smile knifes through my veins.
A hug crushes my fragile bones.
Your love accentuates the pain.

As I'm sitting and waiting for the Eastern glow.
The same words repeat over and over again in my head.
An ending or a new beginning. An ending or a new beginning.
Is there really a difference or will that tiger endlessly chase its tail?

I was never born nor will I ever die.
This is the truth revealed behind the veil.
All worries are gone, lost in the shifting sands of impermanence
As I once was I will be again.
Care to dance?

I shall not shed a tear as I leave this place.
For my heart is full and pure.
I'm like a cloud diminishing without a trace.
The echo of my voice will remain through the years.

I rolled over this morning and you weren't there.
Not even the scent of you remains.
Yesterday I was admiring and stroking your hair.
Why you walked out I can't explain.

I lumber down the steps in a jilted lovers daze
Hoping to see your smiling face.
Instead I see a darkened room with a guilty haze.
Your love is something I can't replace.

I start my car and the sad music begins to play.
A heart stabbing melody surrounds me.
I begin to feel dizzy and my head begins to sway.
The tears stream down my face so free.

I drive my car around to clear my aching head.
When I spot you holding another mans hand.
The feelings that overcome me make me feel dead.
I would rather writhe skinless in the gritty sand.

There's no reason to go on with my miserable life.
If I can't have you then I don't want anything.
And just to think I was going to ask you to be my wife.
What in the hell am I going to do with this wedding ring?

In a dark elder forest from long ago;
sat maiden Isabella with ***** aglow.
Her nightly visitor would soon appear;
with his musky fur and pointed ears

She ate some shrooms to open her head;
and wildly danced naked with the living dead
The moon peered on with a ***** gaze;
as she chased rainbows in her psychedelic craze.

Her lover approached with a rabbit in tow;
with a sudden move blood soaked the snow.
They drank the offering with an ethereal bliss;
then his lips covered hers with an urgent kiss.

Her chest heaved deeply and her ***** shook;
her sounds were guttural as he explored every nook.
She pulled him to the ground to consummate their love;
he obliged with a growl but used a velvet glove.

The animals in the forest felt the instinctual need;
as he howled shrilly when he planted the seed.
Maiden Isabella fell into an exhausted sleep;
as her lover made an escape without a peep.

The sun caught her eye and she awoke with a moan;
she was alone in her bed and chilled to the bone.
What a crazy dream I had she said with a sigh;
but then she saw the claw marks on her thighs.

Someone
A rueful smile mistaken for kindness.
Stone faced strangers callously staring through my cries.
Deaf ears unable to hear my pleas for mercy.
Uncaring eyes watching my insane words tumble from my mind.
Anyone
Anything but this
Please hold my head as I drill the hole.
May the ghosts of yesterday find their peace in the sunrise of today.
Alone
Spiraling towards peaceful oblivion
Beyond pain and hope.
Cascades of light enveloping my being.
The collective one dances to the mid-summer's breeze
Stillness within perpetual motion.
My tears are dried.
I am you and you are me.
Completion

Outside of mind and time resides a place of animated tranquility.  
Alive with the dance of the infinite yet completely still.  
Like the glacier lake that is eerily placid, before the breath of dawn sweeps across the day, and the echoes of her depths break the surface.  
Do you not hear the melodious sway of the saplings?  
Do you not see the look of ecstasy upon the granite face of yonder mountain?  
They are dancing , twirling, and convulsing in the ******* light.  
With a fluidity of motion that makes the angels blush.
She commands your attention yet asks for nothing.  
She's able to provide you with perpetual bliss but you must turn away from yourself.
Silky scene, silky dream.  
She awaits at the door naked, golden dawn and purple dusk, shifting her hues and widening her penetrating eyes.  
Will you knock or stand with you back against the equally inviting abyss?

I am a tree, branches reaching high to feel your velvet touch.
My leaves tremble as your electric breath caresses my skin.
Your pure light dries the morning's joyful tears with slow, agonizing comfort.
A small bird seeks refuge in my heart.
Will you hear the song borne of opulent love?
Above, the cosmic tumblers click, sending reverberations through my cells.

Someone
A rueful smile mistaken for kindness.
Stone faced strangers callously staring through my cries.
Deaf ears unable to hear my pleas for mercy.
Uncaring eyes watching my insane words tumble from my mind.
Anyone
Anything but this
Please hold my head as I drill the hole.
May the ghosts of yesterday find their peace in the sunrise of today.
Alone
Spiraling towards peaceful oblivion
Beyond pain and hope.
Cascades of light enveloping my being.
The collective one dances to the mid-summer's breeze
Stillness within perpetual motion.
My tears are dried.
I am you and you are me.
Completion

We will run through fields of fractals and light.
Curious clouds and ancient symbols will caress the sky.
The translucent thread of life will lightly tether our souls.
We will rip off the masks and dance to the rhythmic moon.
I will smile when the the truth drips from your tongue.