A late night phone call awakes the teen.
The voice calling elicits sweeter dreams.
She's asking for a late night rendezvous.
She says she misses his eyes of blue.

The boy stealthily sneaks down the hall.
There was no way he would ignore the call.
He opens the door and feels the autumn chill.  
And he smiles thinking of the upcoming thrill.

He jumps on his bike to begin the journey.
Even the long ride can't ease his yearning.
As he pulls into the alley at the back of her place.
He sees a beautiful and innocent face.

They make some small talk to break the ice.
But her sweet perfume smells way too nice.
So he leans in closer to steal a passionate kiss.
And she accepts him and grants his wish.

Their breathing was heavy and hands explored.
There was a certain need that couldn't be ignored.  
But before the heat could engulf the night.
There was the sound of a door and suddenly a light.

He made for his bike like a lightning bolt.
And he peddled away like a run away colt.  
The last thing he heard was angry father's yell.
If I ever see you again I'll send you straight to hell.

I'm afraid to wake up.  I'm afraid of another day.  Petrified of myself cuz I've nothing left to say.  I'd rather lay right here and have another dream.  If I have to face the world then I'm gonna have to scream.  

Leave me alone.  Let me be still.  Let the shadows be my friends.  They'll never judge.  Their love is real.  They'll protect me from this world.

The world awaits my presence. They can't wait to drag me down.  It really seems to excite them when my face begins to frown.  There's laughter in my direction when I walk down the street.  I can't move fast enough like cement is on my feet.  


Leave me alone.  Let me be still.  Let the shadows be my friends.  They'll never judge.  Their love is real.  They'll protect me from this world.

If you think I'm crazy.  If you feel I've gone insane.  Won't you shed all your clothes and come dance in the rain.  Maybe you'll lose your mind and cross that dotted line.  The padded room you'll end up in will feel mighty fine.  


Leave me alone.  Let me be still.  Let the shadows be my friends.  They'll never judge.  Their love is real.  They'll protect me from this world.

His eyes open reluctantly to take in the view.  He scans the silent treetops for a hint of hopeful blue.  An eerie whistle in the distance emits it's baleful sound.  The icy reminder of winter lies perpetually on the ground. The rattle of a sigh comes from deep within his soul.  He battles the instinctual urge to climb back into his hole.  

It's just another grey Sunday.  Oh just another grey Sunday.  
No shades of color for this day.
Hopeless grey is the mainstay.  

The battle against tomorrow already starting in his head. His cells start shaking as the poison begins to spread.  Vague thoughts of conversations with people he'll never see. The four walls of torture keep him from being free.  The clock ticking on the wall reminds him the end is near.  The irrational racing of his mind only feeds the prickly fear.  

It's just another grey Sunday.  Oh just another grey Sunday.
No shades of color for this day.
Hopeless grey is the mainstay.

The tears of frustration start to steam down his face.  He's never been a willing runner in life's endless race.  He stands at the edge as the parade passes by.  He's invisible to the masses no matter how hard he cries. He's searched the world over for a kindred soul to share.  His lonely journey continues but the pains too much to bear.

It's just another grey Sunday.  Oh just another grey Sunday.  
No shades of color for this day.
Hopeless grey is the mainstay.

Have you ever had one of those days where every noise is a scream?  Your mind is a white cathedral with high ceilings that gleam.  

Your train of thoughts derail from ancient broken tracks.  You try to speak intelligent words but they don't come out as facts.  

Your hands shake like a leaf deserted on a lonely tree.  You're afraid to step outside lest you be upset by the breeze.  

The only safe sanctuary is your warm and comfy bed.  So you climb back under the sheets and hide your troublesome head.

When I pull myself out of bed as my nails scratch down the sheets.
When I face the world on the darkest days when my soul aches .
When I want to run from faces that I meet on the busy street.
When getting out of the elevator gives me chilly shakes.

It's because of you that I face the daily pain
It's because of you that I want to dance in the rain.
It's because of you that I can try to cure my wrongs.
It's because of you that I want to write you this song.

When the voices inside my head bring me to my knees.
When the world stops making sense to a plain and simple man.
When I can only find peace by swinging between the trees.
When I'm lost without a compass or a rational plan.

It's because of you that I face the daily pain
It's because of you that I want to dance in the rain.
It's because of you that I can try to cure my wrongs.
It's because of you that I want to write you this song

I can't repay this debt.   I can't shed enough tears.
I'm so lucky we met.  You've calmed all my fears.
You've saved my life.  You've made me feel.
God gave me a wife.  Now I know love is real.

I remember the day dad brought you home.
You were barking and jumping after that plastic bone.
Your eyes met mine and your tongue found my face.
You were my first real friend that couldn't be replaced.

We spent the days running and dancing around the trees.
You were always the first to come when I skinned my knees.
When I jumped in the lake you'd run along the shore.
And then you'd catch a scent and run off to explore.

During my early teenage years girls entered my mind.
I know you waited by the window under the blinds.
But even though I barely even scratched your ears.
You stayed by my side during those troubled years.

As I packed up my things to start my college life.
I turned around to notice you with a tear in your eye.
Memories flooded my head with the good times together.
We looked at each other and knew we'd be friends forever.

A few years later I received a call that twisted my head.
My dad said that you'd fallen ill and would soon be dead.
They took you to the vet to try to find a helpful answer.
After all the poking and tests they said that you had cancer.

Well I came home to visit you during your final days.
I could tell the end was near by your distant gaze.
Although you were seconds away from heaven's place.
You lifted your head just to have a last lick of my face.  

Now that I'm married and have a kid who's turned ten.  
It's time to head to town to start the cycle again.
I can't wait for his eyes to light up when I come in the door.
It'll be one of those memories that I'll remember forever more.

I remember the day that dad brought you home.
You were barking and jumping after that plastic bone.
Your eyes met mine and your tongue found my face.
You were my first real friend who couldn't be replaced.

We spent the days running around the neighborhood trees.
You were always the first to come when I skinned my knees.
When I jumped in the lake you'd run along the shore.
And then you'd catch a scent and run off to explore.

During my teenage years girls entered my mind.
I know you waited by the window under the blinds.
But even though I barely even scratched your ears.
You stayed by my side during those troubled years.

As I packed up my things to start my college life.
I turned around to notice you with a tear in your eye.
Memories flooded my head with the good times together.
We looked at each other and knew we'd be best friends forever.

A few years later I received a call that twisted my head.
My dad said that you'd fallen ill and would soon be dead.
They took you to the vet to try to find a helpful answer.
After all the poking and tests they said that you had cancer.

Well I came home to visit you during your final days.
I could tell the end was near by your distant gaze.
Although you were seconds away from heaven's place.
You lifted your head to have one last lick of my face.  

Now that I'm married and have a kid who turned ten.
It's time to head to town to start the cycle again.
I can't wait for his eyes to light up when I come in the door.
It'll be one of those memories that I'll remember forever more.

I see you floating in the breeze way up above the trees.  Can you see me?  I see you stalking on the ground everything warm and brown.  Would you hurt me?  I see your eyes as sharp as brutal claws only following natures law.  Do you fear me?  

I'm just a momentary blur in your life. Your presence doesn't cause a minute of strife.  Your instinct will always keep you above.  Our star dust connection seals out love.  

I see you diving through the air chasing after a timid hare. Would you eat me?  I see you chasing a smaller foe as your talons dangle low.  Would you scar me?  I see you quickly dropping down as your blood spills on the ground. Do you blame me?

As I stand over your lifeless shell.  In my mind rings a hollow bell.  My human nature makes me do wrong.  My love for you is still ever strong. I lift your body back to the sky.  Our connected spirits will never die.

There's sadness in that brown paper bag  blowing in the breeze.
Scratching along the pavement as the snow falls overhead.
I want to hold and caress him until the pain leaves his mind.
Maybe stare down deep in his soul until we from an endless bond.

With a certain jealous admiration I take him to my quiet shelter.
Now rescued from the bitter wind he sits in desperate silence.
No need to thank me my friend for saving your hollow life.
Have a cup of tea and enjoy the comforts of the sedentary creature.

How can he just sit there with a blank look on his dull face?
The heat of the room seems to have frozen him solid.
The life, meager as it was, has drained away leaving a shell.
All he does is longingly stare at the dancing trees outside.

I open the door and place him on the cold cement path.
Instantly he comes alive and resumes his tenuous travels.
Bumping and rolling along he continues his joyful journey.
Shaking my head I close the door and turn on my TV.

All day
Wrestling with my emotions
Can’t get off the mat
Deafening questions bounce of the walls
Menacing intentions as I step down the hall
My obsession with depression
Has slowed my progression  
I scheduled a therapy session
But I canceled at seven  
With acute indigestion
Don’t confuse my excuse for being aloof
Like a spider I’m a recluse
Fighting the urge to drink all the *****
The burden of proof falls squarely on you

Butter

Alone with strangers in a cold dark place.
No sense of emotion, not even a trace.
The doors remain shut and the light stays off.
Beneath my hard exterior I grumble and scoff.

Who needs the warmth that the sun provides.
I do just fine or so my mind decides.
Suddenly the doors open and a hand reaches out.
I feel oily fingers and I stifle a shout.

A feeling of vertigo washes over my tub.
I begin to fly like a cheerful cherub.
There's a wrenching feeling as my lid is removed.
I'm stabbed through the heart, my body is grooved.

The feeling of pain only lasts a short time.
Then a feeling overtakes me that is quite sublime.
I feel myself softening in the daytime heat.
For the first time ever my heart begins to beat

I'm alive I shout and my soul begins to love.
The emotions fit me perfectly just like a glove.
Is this what I've been missing my entire life?
Maybe I'll ask Mrs. Butterworth to be my wife.

With a start I begin to move towards the box.
If I had hands I would struggle and throw rocks.
No I wordlessly scream as I head into the light.
I can feel the cold air and my soul turns white.

Some time passes by and the hardening begins.
I really prefer to be alone here in the bin.
I'll stay here with the darkness as my friend.
Better than to fall in love and lose it all in the end.

It’s one been of those days
Filled with so much pain
My tears are falling down like mother ******* rain
I’m bawling
As I’m trying to call out your name
But you’re gone
You left with a dude named John
That was probably a shrewd move
Since all I do
Is brood, place blame
And eat copious amounts of food
I can still hear your Mad Hatter laughter
Pointing as I got fatter
It’s disappointing I can’t control my own bladder
So I’ll just sit here while I moan and blather
Maybe stroke my bone but I’d really rather
Steal you back from that ******* bloke
Baby I’ll do that thing where I choke you
With a black telephone cord
Until your face turns 40 shades of blue
And your heart races like a revved up Ford
We will work ourselves into a lather
Our sweaty bodies will **** and spasm
A spontaneous simultaneous ******
After we’re through we will laugh and say
Pointing to the grocery store clerk
Clean up in aisle two you voyeuristic ****

Sometimes the words stay hidden inside.
Hibernating in the frosty chill of pain.
A noiseless scream escapes the void.
Bouncing off the treacherous walls of doom.
They seek the comfort of a friendly ear.
Someone to understand the crushing force.
But below the surface the timid words hide.
Engulfed in bitterness and timeless shame.

Someone
A rueful smile mistaken for kindness.
Stone faced strangers callously staring through my cries.
Deaf ears unable to hear my pleas for mercy.
Uncaring eyes watching my insane words tumble from my mind.
Anyone
Anything but this
Please hold my head as I drill the hole.
May the ghosts of yesterday find their peace in the sunrise of today.
Alone
Spiraling towards peaceful oblivion
Beyond pain and hope.
Cascades of light enveloping my being.
The collective one dances to the mid-summer's breeze
Stillness within perpetual motion.
My tears are dried.
I am you and you are me.
Completion

Someone
A rueful smile mistaken for kindness.
Stone faced strangers callously staring through my cries.
Deaf ears unable to hear my pleas for mercy.
Uncaring eyes watching my insane words tumble from my mind.
Anyone
Anything but this
Please hold my head as I drill the hole.
May the ghosts of yesterday find their peace in the sunrise of today.
Alone
Spiraling towards peaceful oblivion
Beyond pain and hope.
Cascades of light enveloping my being.
The collective one dances to the mid-summer's breeze
Stillness within perpetual motion.
My tears are dried.
I am you and you are me.
Completion

Someone
A rueful smile mistaken for kindness.
Stone faced strangers callously staring through my cries.
Deaf ears unable to hear my pleas for mercy.
Uncaring eyes watching my insane words tumble from my mind.
Anyone
Anything but this
Please hold my head as I drill the hole.
May the ghosts of yesterday find their peace in the sunrise of today.
Alone
Spiraling towards peaceful oblivion
Beyond pain and hope.
Cascades of light enveloping my being.
The collective one dances to the mid-summer's breeze
Stillness within perpetual motion.
My tears are dried.
I am you and you are me.
Completion

I’m at the crossroads again
Have to make a decision but I don’t know where to begin
A bloated incision is about to burst
What’s gonna pop out
Hopefully a grin
Cuz it’s been days since the sunshine hit my face

A man stares unthinking beneath the golden leaves.
The first winds of autumn chill his restless soul. He slowly begins to unroll his sleeves.
As he gets ready to take his nightly stroll.

He hears the sun's nails screech against the darkening sky.
Leaving behind a beautiful yet ****** scene. Many times he's witnessed this ritualistic goodbye.
One of the few times he feels more man than machine.

As the inky night surrounds him he hears a familiar song.
Suddenly the sidewalk turns into a glittering trail.
His cells begin to vibrate although the scene is wrong.
The whole world feels translucent and hopelessly frail.

He eagerly begins his journey towards the land of the dead.
The angelic voices cajole and lead him by the hand.
He willing goes to where others fear to tread. He can't resist their heavenly command.

He slips through the veil that separates our worlds.
He quickly joins them in their circular dance.
He effortlessly moves and cries as he twirls.
His ears can now comprehend their unearthly chants.

We may be buried underneath the cold, dark soil.
But we'll never die because our souls are eternal. Someday you'll join us and cast away your shell. One day you'll see there's neither heaven or hell.

He can't fathom leaving this peaceful terrain. The veil starts to separate and he feels the biting night.
To leave now will certainly cause him to go insane.
But he still belongs to his body and the time isn't right.

He walks slowly home and tries to gather his wits.
The moment that he shared is already fading like a dream.
He already doubts that he rollicked with the spirits.
He has to stifle a maniacal scream.

Dandelion thoughts lie dormant in my head.  Underneath the icy years nearly dead.  Won't the sun come out and melt their pain.  They crave the saving waters of springtime rain.  

The lemon headed children want to dance and be free.  Escape the Wintery misery and dance in the breeze.  Fall and laugh upon a carpet of emerald green.  Even in perpetual darkness you have this dream.  

Frozen in time they wait for blissful release.  This hibernating coma provides little peace. Stuck inside their own mind for all of these years.  Buried with blooming flowers fuels their chilly fears.

The lemon headed children want to dance and be free.  Escape the Wintery misery and dance in the breeze.  Fall and laugh upon a carpet of emerald green.  Even in perpetual darkness you have this dream.

There's a noise above them as the world starts to crack. A tiny bit of light seeps through the inky  black.  The fresh aroma of life swirls through the throng.  The heads begin to bobble to their creators song.

The lemon headed children want to dance and be free.  Escape the Wintery misery and dance in the breeze.  Fall and laugh upon a carpet of emerald green.  Even in perpetual darkness you have this dream.

Cheek pressed against the floor
Squinting into the darkness
Thinking I just saw glinting eyes
Really no surprise to me
That demon’s been hiding
Ever since my drinking days
Biding his time until I showed
Just a little bit of weakness
Now’s not the time to freak out
Old memories start to leak out
My sobriety is in jeopardy
A drink would be like a bullet to the head
Just like Kennedy
I thought those 12 steps mended me
At least that’s what was portended to be
No offense intended
But I’m still ******* tormented

Depression has left a deep impression
In the middle of my chest
My aggression and anger will never rest
An infection circulating in my bloodstream
I’m a kettle percolating letting off steam
Unsettled every night screaming while I dream
Disheveled I fight as I swim upstream
Drenched in sweat despite the frigid night
Fists ready to scuffle to save my pride
Clenched so tight my knuckles are white
Can’t function no matter how hard I try
Hell bent on destruction I’m ready to die
Cells underwent disruption just a little pain
Content with the combustion in my brain

The depth of pain he's feeling can't be described.
He walks the halls alone with no one by his side.
He's slammed into a locker or punched in the face.
There's nowhere to escape in this scholarly place.

He walks home burning.  
His world has stopped turning.
His heart holds a yearning.  
His stomach is churning.

He goes into his dad's room to look under the bed.
The colors in his mind swirl a ****** red.
He grabs the gun and begins to plan their demise.
For once he'd like to see the fear of God in their eyes.

He slowly walks to school.
He won't be anyone's fool.
His bag holds revenge's tool.
They'll stop whipping the mule.

When he walks through the door everything goes black.
He blindly squeezes the trigger during his insane attack.
The screams and pain around him don't reach his ears.
When the bullets run out his eyes begin to stream tears.

He drops to the cold floor.
Did he cause this gore?
His soul spills from his core.
He's wide awake once more.

Later that day he sits alone in a cramped cell.
He already knows that he's been ****** to hell.
He wishes that he could change the fury he showed.
But he was a ticking time bomb ready to explode.

He prays for his soul.
This was never the goal.
He's dug his own hole.
He hears the bell toll.

The depth of pain he's feeling can't be described.
He walks the halls alone with no one by his side.
He's slammed into a locker or punched in the face.
There's nowhere to escape in this scholarly place.

He walks home burning.  
His world has stopped turning. His heart holds a yearning.  
His stomach is churning.

He goes into his dad's room to look under the bed.
The colors in his mind swirl a ****** red.
He grabs the gun and begins to plan their demise.
For once he'd like to see the fear of God in their eyes.

He slowly walks to school.
He won't be anyone's fool.
His bag holds revenge's tool.
They'll stop whipping the mule.

When he walks through the door everything goes black.
He blindly squeezes the trigger during his insane attack.
The screams and pain around him don't reach his ears.
When the bullets run out his eyes begin to stream tears.

He drops to the cold floor.
Did he cause this gore?
His soul spills from his core.
He's wide awake once more.

Later that day he sits alone in a cramped cell.
He already knows that he's been ****** to hell.
He wishes that he could change the fury he showed.
But he was a ticking time bomb ready to explode.

He prays for his soul.
This was never the goal.
He's dug his own hole.
He hears the bell toll.

A grey room with soft walls is waiting down the road.
Purple pills and quiet voices will ease my  heavy load.
They'll place electrodes on my head to shock away the pain.
Then I'll sit drooling as I stare at the morning rain.

Maybe a friend will visit and stare with wide unblinking eyes.
They'll speak cautiously and try to fill me with empty lies.
Even with my drug addled mind will see  through their mask.
There are questions visible on their tongue they refuse to ask.

The stern nurses in their funny hats take us out in the sun.
The sudden warmth and bright light jolt us like a firing gun.
We must stay in line and only speak when we're spoken to.
When one is barely conscious that's an easy thing to do.

I'm back in my locked room starting to fade off to sleep.
I wonder if God can hear my prayers under layers so deep
Please come and save your creation from this destiny.
Sprinkle your magical dust and set this tormented soul free.

I've been often asked if I believe in an immortal being.
Will I burn in the fire or fly with the angels that are singing.
It's a question that I've rolled around in my troubled mind.  
But I've found that thinking makes the answer hard to find.

Instead I've concerned myself with today and the moment.
I observe the things around me that make life oh so potent.
So here's what I'm going to do with the rest of the story.
I'm going to reminisce about the things that show his glory.

I've been lucky enough to be blessed with kids and wife.
And except for some bumps and bruises a healthy life.
There's a roof overhead and there's food on the table.
And I live in a country that's not war torn but quite stable.

When I pause for a moment and quietly observe natures scene
I know in my heart that it's no accident that it's so serene.
Are we just lucky to find ourselves on the planet of blue.
It's not really a question I can answer you'll have to ask you.

But I will have to concede that the the truth is unknown.
Science tells me that there's no one sitting on the throne.
We are all a cosmic accident that began with a boom.
And at the end of our lives we head for a darkened room.

But let's circle back to the original provoking query.
As you probably guess I have my own thoughts and theories
So if you placed a gun to my head and made me guess.
I would close my eyes and mumble a definitive maybe yes.

Her long sleeves hide a purple bruise.
Her shy face hides unbearable blues.
She may be a neighbor or just a random girl.
But your voice could very well save her world.
Her brown eyes scream a tale yet untold.
All she wants is a good daddy to hold.
Instead the ***** has angered the man.
She quakes in bed waiting for his rough hand.
Would you allow this to happen to your daughter or son?
Where every second is terror and life's no fun.
The signs are there and you hear her yelps.
Yet you avert your eyes and don't call for help.
Time's running out before he crosses the line.
It's time to take action and grow a spine.

I don't have anything left to give.
My spirit left long ago.
Shine and paint my pretty shell;
until satisfaction reaches your lips.

Laughter hurts my tortured soul.
A smile knifes through my veins.
A hug crushes my fragile bones.
Your love accentuates the pain.

Inertia keeps moving me in linear time;
as my dull eyes search the clock.
Ticking away until the body gives;
and I reunite with the cosmic whole.

Laughter hurts my tortured soul.
A smile knifes through my veins.
A hug crushes my fragile bones.
Your love accentuates the pain.

Release into the infinite offers some relief.
A deep breath escapes my lips;
as the void swallows my earthly fears.
Now I float in pure amniotic bliss.

Laughter hurts my tortured soul.
A smile knifes through my veins.
A hug crushes my fragile bones.
Your love accentuates the pain.

A terrible sunrise stains my face;
bloodied cheeks and a bruised chin.
My heart doesn't belong to this place;
lost in a maze of pain deep within.

A rusty sigh escapes my scarred lips;
still trembling from a night of terror.
Why must I always follow the same script;
every decision I make is a fatal error.

Slowly I try to climb out of my bed;
but the glue of fear holds me fast.
Just hurry and bury me, I'm already dead;
my chest moves but my spirit has passed.

Please lift me up to a celestial sphere;
where the welcoming Spring wind swirls
At a cool spring drinks an innocent deer;
This newborn child dances and whirls.

A terrible sunrise stains my face;
bloodied cheeks and a bruised chin.
My heart doesn't belong to this place;
lost in the maze of pain deep within.

A rusty sigh escapes my scarred lips;
still trembling from a night of terror.
Why must I always follow the same script;
every decision I make is a fatal error.

Slowly I try to climb out of my bed;
but the glue of fear holds me fast.
Just hurry and bury me, I'm already dead;
my chest moves but my spirit has passed.

Please lift me up to a celestial sphere;
where the welcoming Autumn wind swirls
At the cool spring drinks a newborn deer;
This newborn child dances and whirls.

I'm saddled by the dreams of others. Their vicarious thoughts steal my youth.
Heal the weak and the battered. Make their eyes shine bright again.

Find a way to mine the treasure. Maybe create those flying shoes.
Any way to make a dollar. The emptiness has been renewed.

Sorry to disappoint the adoring. My mind works a different way.
My words are my currency. This path is paved with many jewels.

Outside I'm pushing papers from here to there. There's no real purpose in my actions.
I smile and appropriately nod to appease them. Responsibility rules my every day.
I wander like a zombie through the corridors. My mask is well maintained and flawless.

Inside is an inferno that melts away my mind. The remnants drip slowly down to my soul.
It cries out from the torture and the pain. A hole opens and exposes the open wound.
Please stop staring at my naked essence. I'm a child seeking a comforting womb.

7 billion people in the world
Against all odds
Yet here you are

A boy of eight sits quietly behind the closed door.  He's losing himself in his made up places. Staying put in reality has become quite a chore.  Sweat streams down his face as his mind races.

The fighting has escalated beyond the screaming and yells.  Bloodied lips and bruised faces are now the norm.  He's trying to concoct magical incantations or possibly spells.  There has be a sturdy shelter against the growing storm.  

One day her learns that she's leaving for another.  That his world will be flipped upside down.  He knows every little boy needs a mother.  He's ravaged with guilt as he wears his thorny crown.  

His father somehow makes ends meet as a single dad.  But there's sadness as the bottle becomes a friend.  The little boy watches from a distance but he's quite sad.  Not even a hug from his only son makes the sorrow end.

The boy now grows and is in his teenage years.  The father has remarried but its a shallow tonic.  The boy had now found his release in a case of beer.  The father now stands quietly in the shadows, isn't that ironic?

The boy is fully grown and keeps the pain within. Morals and ethics are lost in the strangling haze.  He decides to move to the city of sin. There he  meets an angel that would speak and amaze.

His name was Mark and the streets is where he dwelled.  He talked of freedom and power of belief.    Although he spoke softly the exuberance he expelled.  Changed his life like the color on a leaf.

He found my purpose thanks to a homeless man.  He left that city vowing never to return.  As He travelled back his eyes began to scan.  Somewhere in Utah his soul began to yearn.


He pulled off road and saw a visual scene.  There were canyons of color and voiceless song.  Infinity was set before him previously unseen.  He finally found a place where he belongs.

He stayed with the landscape for about a week.  He made promises to the night that he swore he'd keep.  As he drove away a tear streamed down his cheek.  It was time to get back to the world of sheep.

He went back home and settled into an old routine. The beers started flowing and the good times ensued.  He had already forgotten what kept him clean.  He made his plan to leave again with a vision that skewed.  

He got behind the wheel of that beat up car.  The city of sin would welcome him with open legs.  Fortunately for him he didn't get far.  The oil spilled out like a broken keg.

Little did he know that fate stepped in.  He took a job he only planned for a while.  Then he heard the door open and lifted his chin.  There walked in his angel with a school girl smile.

The courtship lasted for a few sweet weeks.  He knew he loved her well before they met.  And she knew his souls was what she seeks.  And still to this day he is in forever to a homeless man's debt.

A boy of eight sat quietly behind a closed door.  
He lost himself in his made up places.
Staying put in reality had become quite a chore.  
Sweat streamed down his face as his mind raced.

The fighting had escalated past screams and yells.
Bloodied lips and bruised faces were now the norm.  
He's tried to concoct incantations and spells.  
To construct a shelter against the growing storm.  

One day he learned that she was leaving for another.  
His entire world would be flipped upside down.  
He knew every little boy needed a loving mother.  
He was ravaged with pain as he wore his thorny crown.  

His father made ends meet as a single dad.  
But the bottle soon became his only friend.  
He watched from a distance but was quite sad.  
Not even his hug made his dad’s sorrow end.

The boy began his tumultuous teenage years.  
The father remarried but it was shallow tonic.  
The boy found his relief in a shower of beer.  
The father stood in the shadows, isn't that ironic?

The boy became a man but kept the pain within. Morals and ethics were lost in a strangled haze.  
He decided to move to the city of lights and sin.
There he met someone and was completed amazed.

His name was Mark and the streets was where he dwelled.
He talked of freedom and the power of belief.    
He spoke softly but the exuberance he expelled.  
Changed his life like the color of an Autumn leaf.

He found his purpose thanks to a vagrant man.  
He left that city and vowed never to return.  
As he travelled back his eyes began to scan.  
Somewhere in Utah his soul started to yearn

He pulled off the road and saw a visual scene.  
There were canyons of color and a voiceless song.  
Infinity sat before him as God intervened
He finally found a place where he belonged

He stayed in the landscape for about a week.  
He made promises to the night that he swore he'd keep.  
As he drove away a tear streamed down his cheek.  
It was time to get back to the world of sheep.

He went back home and settled into his old routine. The beers flowed and the good times ensued.  
He had already forgotten what had kept him clean.  
His plan to leave again was a vision that was skewed.  

He got behind the wheel of his beat up car.  
The city of sin awaited with her unfurled legs.
Fortunately for him he didn't get very far.  
The oil spilled from the engine like a broken keg.

Little did he know that fate had stepped in.  
He took a job he planned only on keeping for a while.  
One night he heard the door open and lifted his chin.  
There walked in an angel with a school girl’s smile.

I’m guessing you already know the rest of the plot
He knew he loved her long before they ever met.  
She knew his soul was everything she sought.
To this day he’s forever in a homeless man's debt.

My words stay hidden, eyes black like coal.  Buried beneath stratum of conformity.  Fearing to come out lest they be judged.  They weigh me down with great enormity.

Teeth are gnashing, claws are scratching.  Leaving behind the scars of unrealized potential.   They find an alternate path through the fingertips.  Reaching the illuminated surface is vitally essential

The unfiltered light brings an ******* bliss.  The self imposed shackles begin to break.  My unconstrained words have found a home.  The flow of creativity begins to ease my ache.

So I was standing knee deep in a river's stream.
What a beautiful day it's every fisherman's dream.
I cast my line out and let the current work.
And every now and then I'd give my pole a ****.

Suddenly I heard the snapping sound of a stick.
I dropped a load in my pants that felt like a brick.
And there standing not more than 50 yards away.
But a grizzly bear in the sparkling sun of May.

I slowly start to back up planning a retreat.
The last thing I want is to be a midday treat.
Well I moved too fast and splashed in the water.
It certainly appeared I'd be this hungry bear's fodder.

So I hit dry ground and climbed the nearest tree.
I thought to myself, Aha, he'll never find me.
Little did I know a bear's prowess for climbing.
Yes that whimpering sound you hear is me whining.

As the bear got closer I thought of my demise.
I planned to be strong despite my painful cries.
I could hear his growling and his teeth were sharp.
My head started swooning and I heard an angel's harp.

But at the last moment the bear heard a sweet sound
And this caused him to **** his head around.
What could be more interesting than some living meat?
Well a gorgeous female bear in the throes of heat.

He quickly rappelled down that tree in great haste.
It's not often that a bear will let a meal go to waste.
As the couple sauntered off I saw him turn his head.
That look said any other day and you'd be dead.

Dull pale blue eyes open up to the scene of a busy city. The hurried rush of empty souls drives a nail through his bitter heart. He's invisible to the naked eye. Their educated minds can not see his plight. He scowls at them with broken thoughts. Their plastic smiles light a fire within. He tries to stand with creaking bones. The chill of last night brings him to his knees. He screams and shouts into the icy air. God won't you take me to heaven above. He grabs his sign and heads to the bridge. The uncaring stares seal his fate. He's crossed the line inside his mind. He manages a smile as plummets to earth. No headlines for our fallen friend. Not even a stone to remember his name. He's now above in a better place. Laughing and running thorough a field of green.

With no true friend around I talk to myself.
Or maybe I'll head outside and tune in to the clouds
I've never been intentionally hurt by a flower.
And the grass breathes life into my restless soul.
The breeze carries me away from this plastic world.

I don't belong here amongst the dour faces and slippery minds
Why was I forced to leave the light and inhabit this body?
Some say choice, others say fate. Above me the cosmos twirl indifferently.
A lone tear slowly weaves its way down my creased cheek.

Friends until the end they say
But they twist and bend
That word
Like blazing hot iron
Until they can defend
Looking to the sky and whistling
When you shuffle by you still miss them
I muzzle myself without raising a question.
Do that enough times you’ll go crazy
But here in fantasy land y’all still praise me
I’ll say this as affably as I can convey
Stay the **** away from me
Before
I start lobbing grenades your way
I’m done articulating
Or trying to persuade anyone
To be my friend
Until the end

God is made in my image
A man full of fear
Grimacing as my looks diminish
The one I see in the mirror
God is made in my image
A skittish sinning queer
Swimming in a sea of despair
Shaking behind this veneer
God is made in my image
A fine vintage of yesteryear
Winning a high percentage
Pillaging villages on this sphere

One step. One breath. Each day is a new test. Laughing fits Crying spells. Picking at new scabs.

The space between life and pain is separated by a thin veil. I've opened up the curtains and cast away the darkness. The razor cuts of his tongue are silenced by my love. Yet yet yet the painful choices of my now paralyze thought.

Wrapped inside a cotton brain with small thoughts and toy trains. My ego seeks how to learn without leaving a perpetual burn. My brothers and sisters await at the gate. I see them clear i see them now but they can't wait.

Lets start anew today amongst the ruins of the festive clothes. A bird will rise with a red nose in tow squirting water from a flower. This bird climbs and climbs to an apex of thought. Behind the world and over forever. Rain slowly falls and floods the world, pain is gone, a rainbow appears. A new life begins today on a hazy green path.

This means everything and nothing at all. It's all nonsense and jibberish. Consciousness streams and flows. And it feels **** good to be me for one single moment. One drop of irrelevant rain into life's ocean. The pencil is dull so I must stop. Happiness ensues. The crowd cheers the end of the show. A young girl wears a shiny white mask.

Hey John can you tell me how you've been.
The world has been a nightmare with no end
Since you were shot and dropped your pen
Can you help us remember how to imagine again

Whether heaven is real or just a big old fake
Seems trivial while the Earth trembles and quakes
Your far out ideas created a peaceful wake.
But now we're screaming in Hell's boiling lake

Have you noticed we still fight over imaginary lines
Generals get off ripping out young men's spines
The congregation still drinks blood from steins
Mega churches are built like ******* shrines

It sure is embarrassing and I'm sure your sad
That we'd rather shoot instead of lending a hand
Our brothers and sisters are hungry in far off lands
Yet the war pigs keep us fighting in shifting sands.

They had to **** you to silence your peaceful dream
Your message of love made the dominator scream
Now everyone's addicted to plastic that gleams
Worshiping an apple while their master schemes.

There isn't a word for the numbness that has infiltrated my soul.
I could write for a million years and still never convey my thoughts.  
When I first started writing redemption and purification was my goal.
Instead I've realized that the softening I feel is my spirit as it slowly rots.

I have little left to offer that seems original or genuinely mine.
The light bulb rattles and remains ingloriously dark as I cry out for inspiration.
My mind churns with regurgitated thoughts as my creativity has gone blind.
There's physical pain running through my circuits as I deal with my consternation.

Self loathing and sadistic degradation have replaced the path of light.
The voices must be real and telling the truth as I would never lead myself astray.
Now is the time to forget about writing and drift off into the wilderness of night.
I'll close my eyes like a child of four and whisper for salvation as I hopelessly pray.

I am a tree, branches reaching high to feel your velvet touch.
My leaves tremble as your electric breath caresses my skin.
Your pure light dries the morning's joyful tears with slow, agonizing comfort.
A small bird seeks refuge in my heart.  Will you hear the song borne of opulent love?
Above, the cosmic tumblers click, sending reverberations through my cells.

I am a tree, branches reaching high to feel your velvet touch.
My leaves tremble as your electric breath caresses my skin.
Your pure light dries the morning's joyful tears with slow, agonizing comfort.
A small bird seeks refuge in my heart.
Will you hear the song borne of opulent love?
Above, the cosmic tumblers click, sending reverberations through my cells.

My heart hit the floor
The moment I heard the door close
A wilted rose
Jilted lover writing prose to those
That will never understand the pain
Of seeing you with the one you chose
A silent mist drizzles down
Love’s fire fizzles on the ground
A frown as I begin to drown
Is it just my tears
And not really rain falling all around.

I can't be a wooden man.  As you pull on my strings.
I know your devious plan.  That **** hurts me and stings.

I see your wandering eyes. When we walk down the street.
I'm tired of your obvious lies. As I lay between hardened sheets.

The late night phone calls.  Where you whisper in the dark.
The sudden visits to the mall. When he climbs in and lights a spark.

Now there's a bump in the front.  And you're trying to say its me.
But I've gotta be really blunt.  You never did make me squee.