If I were to reflect on my life
with books
if I were to spend the time
such a reflection deserves
I would be here for a week
seeking just the right words
to speak the inexpressible gift
of authors who gave their love
to finding themselves
binding themselves
to an idea
that deserved
and emerged
as new life.

The sheer volume of these gestations
trumpets and sings
anthems and hymns of grace
broken through inside the human heart.

I would not be who I am
but for their inspiration
and daily dedication
to pressing pen to page upon page
so I could turn a new leaf
and become all I was meant to be.

Books are acts of making love
right there on my table
day after passionate day
long after many have passed away
from the mornings they woke up
to this work, this play
with words
that would open worlds
for me and millions
to create something
ordinary or magnificent
for our presents and futures.

I bow to these small lumens,
authors and makers
who birthed their creations
and bound them together
from genesis to revelation.

It’s so easy to fool myself
to be a dual self
one comfortable floating in delusions
the other in truth.
There is one me
lurking just beneath the surface
in the shadow hour,
the one who hasn’t called the lonely man
to see if there is anything I can
to help him peek out into the light
he has missed since his mother left
him alone after her death.

Is there a me  
one of the two
who’s whole and true
ok with being ordinary
ok with my immutable limits?

What freedom this would be
to accept this ordinary me
not living in a regret
of never being ideal
but instead living free
to just be me – finite and real.

What would we do without our lovers
to prove we can think about
and cherish someone other
than ourselves?

What would we do without autumn
so show us the flow and passionate ebb
of life’s force?

What would we do without birds
to show us the possibility
of flight?

What would we do without suffering
to lead us beyond our painful confines
in search for joy?

There are lots of big open questions
but most answers are small
and that's ok
better than none at all

My energy ebbs
in this autumn
like the yellow leaves
falling from mother Elm
calling goodbyes
slowly departing for another realm.

Now I can float with you
on dreams of possibilities
daring to hope again
for a season of light.
We are partners of the universe
in flight
not fright.

Dreams are made of possibilities
not of economics or hands
and bare-***** probabilities
but of living tissue
of heart.

You are the single flame in my life
when I focus on you I can dance
I have passion red and damp
I can burn until I am light.