they giggled as i cried.
it was harmless tears.
everybody thought that
i was crying due to the
fact that animals were being
mauled right in front of me.
and yes, that is half true.
but, the real reason i started having a
panic attack was because i started thinking
and thinking and remembering things.
memories were brought back and
i just couldnt help but
put my head down and cry.
he told me that it was
going to be okay because
the animal was alive.
but, he didnt know why i
was crying. he didnt know
that i was being reminded of
the mistakes ive made and
why i will never ever be good
enough.

how do i tell someone that
i feel so useless?
im not sure.

I had found myself before you
My hand found your cheek-
Soft skin blushing red
You draw my attention as I draw the smoke from my cigarette
And your about just as good for me as it is-
Toxicity in every inhale

Yet I stumble to you
Backwards
Always backwards from where I've grown to
Back to the hues of your eyes
Now a stare that I stress to avoid

I won't stop to look back
I won't pretend it is not what it is for times sake

I won't humor you
I won't humor your distaste!
I am not a person of connivence
A person of mere indulgence when there is nothing left to the amusement  

I can't be here when those soft hues finally open to see the decisions you've made

There can be no caring saved
There will be nothing left for you after you've pulled every string


(C) Tiffanie Doro

In the dark I made a mistake
Taking shots  
Just not a break
I guess
I said yes
I think about it every day

And my eyes will take surrender
I can’t put my life back together
I’ve learned love is suicide

I see
Nothing but a blur
And my lungs will always burn
Why
Can’t I
Let that ugly piece of me go
I
Don’t want to think
A single thought about me
Why
Can’t I
Let that ugly piece of me go

i'm tired, not simply
physically tired
mentally,
wholeheartedly
i'm exhausted
and sadly enough
i'm just waiting
for someone
to rock me
to sleep

there once was a girl
who was an artist, but
here's the twist
a razor was her paintbrush
and the canvas was her
wrist.

"Ugly" "Fat" "Worthless"
they were written
word for word
nobody thought otherwise
after-all, that girl is so
happy, that'd be
absurd.

one night it was raining
and the thoughts became
to much
she reached for her
blades and blood
poured out with just
one touch.

the next morning her
parents found her,
it was an "accident"
they would say.
because after-all,
whould'a thought that
their happy daughter
wasn't okay?

She fought endlessly for
her life, but it
was all to much to
handle
little did she know that
she'd be one of many in
this suicide
scandal.