My time is spent lying around
Hoping my body will give in
And my tortured soul will be set free

I make mom worry
Behind the door she knows
I am carving my skin

When things get hard
And mom loses sleep
She runs in hope for piece

My poor father stays with me

In a haze of anger
The touch of a horrible boy and my screams shake my bones

My mentor repeats my name
Until I am in front her
My mind folding in on itself

I tell her every ounce of rage, fear, and hate
The only things my heart can grasp
I spill until I am empty

The person I look up to
Funny, kind, understanding, strong

Says
"I understand more than you will ever know"
I realize we aren't so different after all

I once told a teacher
"I hate therapy, I don't want to talk about it"
and he responded
"Who do you open up to"
I thought and considered
Every person who left me
Nobody knows the full story
Nobody knows that i tried to ** myself
Or that even though I said I stopped I still SH
What do I do?
As I drown under water a cry for help the people around me keep swimming
And when they get tired I whisper advice on how to swim
I can't seem to do it myself.
And in the night time while they live it up
I stay under water with nobody to save me.