And time
Committed suicide in my arms
And I sob
As the one I loved slips away

When circumstance dictates how time exits
There is nothing to do but follow

I've never collected trading cards
Though I once collected stamps
Until one day
The catalogue stopped
Sending them

I never followed the
Dewey Decimal System
In any place other than
The library
Where I spent my
Childhood days
Falsely convinced that the building
Was at least a block
Big

I've never been patient
For anything but a doctor
Though I once waited
Ten minutes
For the bus
And only got up to pace
Twice

But with her, I find myself
Collecting memories
Of snapshots I've taken
In my mind

Of her fingers
Tracing my face
And holding my hand
Gently
Because I'm never sure
How confident I should be
When holding her hand

Of her lips
As she talks
About things that
Excite her
And I watch them
Hearing her excitement
And wanting to kiss her

Of her teeth
As they are revealed
When she smiles
When she speaks
And as they bite me
I want to make her smile
When the world goes
Boom

Of her eyes
So beautiful
Framed by glasses
Or frameless
And looking
Up, around, at me
Displaying her emotions
And other
Evasive thoughts
And I can't help wondering
What runs through her mind
But it could be
The same that runs through mine:
Unfiltered bliss

Of her hair
The way it tangles so
Easily
The way it reflects
Her and matches her
And how the first time
We went bowling
I used it as a blindfold
So she would be surprised
When I
Kissed her

But with her, I find myself organizing
These memories
These thoughts
This unbridled energy
That is the happiness
She brings

The organization reminds me
Of a library
Or the TARDIS
Because in here with the memories
It seems bigger
And I might be a madman
"But it just may be a lunatic
You're looking for"

But with her, I find myself patient
I can wait
Steeping in happiness
Like oolong in a clay ***
Getting stronger and stronger
The longer away I am
I can grab my
Bag of memory
And every moment with her
Builds my supply

Like nothing could get me down
Not now
Not for the predicted future
And sure Chaos
Is hard to predict
But **** patterns, I'm making a beeline
For her

I have ink where my skin should be.
You trace it with your finger tips
every time you kiss me.
There are planes and sky scrapers
where the stars should be
in this cluttered city.
I pulled over at four in the morning
Lit a flare & lied down in the middle of the road.
I watched the sky fade
from black to gray and back again.
I counted the long faded, white scars on my wrists & my thighs until the morning sun swallowed me.
You counted unread text
messages as you sent them.
One
Hey where are you
Two
Please I'm worried
Three
Not this again
Four
I can't do this tonight
Five
Please don't
Six
Please don't **** yourself
Seven
I love you
Eight
I'm calling the police
Nine
Just make it through this night
Ten
Call me in the morning
****** sweetheart,
I did it again.
I'm sorry.
I fell off of the planet.
I melted into the night.
Please believe me angel
when I say,
I'm not going away from here.
I'm just going ******* crazy.