i hope when i die
every last one of you
cries your ******* eyes out
i hope you say sweet meaningless things
over my open grave
i hope you say that i was a friend
a sister, and a loving daughter
i hope you all drown in your ******* lies
you dont know me
none of you know me
when was the last time any of you cared how i felt?
how long has it been since you gave a ****?
no, *******, i hope you all ******* burn.

dont touch me
god, dont ******* touch me
i dont know why im shaking
stop asking me questions
its too much for my brain
i dont know anything
i dont want to be alone
i thought i had it controlled
thought this could work
but it isnt its not working
and every step closer is a little worse
this isnt art anymore
this is me dying in words on a screen
im losing it
everything
ive already lost my mind
dont pity me though
i wont let you
im not helpless or pathetic
im angry
because i deserved better
from myself and from the rest of you
i hope when im gone
you all learn how to be human
because now
this world isnt worth suffering on
im fed up with stories and metaphors
pretty words
"poetry"
its not a safe space its a ******* nightmare
nowhere is safe anymore
it all hurts
im a disappointment
and a ******* freak
and i ******* hate it here
i hate my body and i hate myself
who i am
learning who i am was supposed to be
fun and romantic and life-changing
instead it just made me lonely
because all i realized was
ive always been my only friend
the others were imaginary all along

im running out of ways
to tell you that i am dying
i think im done
asking for help
whats the point in screaming yourself hoarse
when nobody's even listening?

i know
there isnt much anybody can do to save me
so i may as well shut up
and leave quietly, without a scene

it will hurt enough
without knowing that nobody cared

im so ******* lonely
that even love feels
a little too much for me
i don't want to be loved anymore
i just want to rot
im sick of everything
even ****** i can't stand it here
i wanna go home
and drown in the saltwater
let the bubbles from my lips
be my only goodbye
no more dreams of pretty boys
and happy homes
that life was for a girl who died long ago
im sick of trying to be her again
the pretty, peachy, happy girl
she died and she ******* deserved it
for all her sins
pretty boys are liars
and nothing good is real
im tired, no
******* exhausted
and honestly
im ready to die

my skin is a traitor
flaming and red
hot to the touch
leaving invisible scorch marks
on everything i touch
directly opposing
the chill inside
the freezing cold
of my careless mind