we fight
and fight and fight and fight
but you better bet your ***
i'd still talk to you all night long
we'd argue til the world ended
and still, i'd want you in my bed
i could say it over your grave
that this is the last time, i swear
i hate you
i never want to see you again
but still, i always come back for more

in the end
the fights are just that
just a fight

i love you
more than i love
being right

i can hear laughing.
it might be mine,
but it isn't loud enough.
i'm rocking myself
like a crazy person.
i can't feel my skin,
but i know that i'm crying.
i can see the tears hitting the floor
in little drops, like blood from a cut.
something in me wants to think this is a test,
the gods pushing my will,
seeing how close to the edge i'll get
before i jump.
i keep telling myself
that all the bad will weigh out
and one day it'll be euphoria.
but maybe karma really is a *****.
maybe it really doesn't ever get better.

****
when he walked in
i was happy to see him
elated, even
he's the only person
in these past few months
thats treated me like an equal
like a human being
the one person who's shown me respect
listened to me speak
and tried to understand
and ****
i was so happy

and now
i feel like im drowning in mud
my brain feels sticky
and heavy
and slow
and i