him: Have you ever been with a girl?

No. I've thought about kissing her a thousand times. She had hair like cotton candy and her voice was like a nightingale. Whenever I was sad, she'd sing me songs and put my name instead. Her skin was so pale like snow and she hated the veins on her eyelids, the ones that looked like lightning crashing. I counted her freckles every night before I went to bed. She was the love of my life and she loved me unconditionally for Gods knows what reasons. And then I messed it up and left, because I got scared. When I begged for her back, she said no.


him: Have you ever been with a girl?

Yes. She had a narrow waist and long brown eyelashes. I kissed them before as she slept. She felt warm against me and I traced the outline of the ink on her back, the bouquet of flowers. And when she got high, I put her to bed and got drunk by myself. We ****** until morning and we watched the sunrise together, over the city skyline. She fed me wild strawberries and we shared the same cup of tea together. When I woke up, she was gone.


him: Have you ever been with a girl?

Yes. I met her in a club and I kissed her outside a supermarket. She devoted herself to me. Called me. Adored me. And I, selfishly, didn't give a single ****. I never responded and if I did, I was far away. My mind was never on her. When I finally apologized, she never texted me back. She said I wasn't her usual type and though I didn't say it out loud, I agreed.


him: Have you ever been with a girl?

Yes. She kissed me on the subway and gave me flowers. When I drank too much, she cleaned up after me and put me to bed. She still kissed me after. She was wild. Reckless. Looking for trouble and I ignored it. I adored every part of her. One day, she whispered I Love You to me when she was drunk. She never mentioned it again. Her eyes darkened over time and I came home to find only someone who looked like her. When she left, I wrote poems about her and burned myself. I got drunk every night alone. I continually slept on the bench in the park, just to be somewhere where we hadn't been. My heart was breaking and she kept smiling.


him: Have you ever been with a girl?

me: Yes.

him: That's hot.

For you
I will be the housewife
and obey
and put on my stained apron
with my weathered cracking hands
and cook
your meals hot

For you
I will be the mother
and tell our wonderful blessings
of the perfect man
I met
and how he
fixed me

For you
I will be the good daughter
and force a fake smile
when your mother tells you
that you could do better


For you
I will be the friend
and be your punching bag
in your drunken state
and forgive you
when you come too

For you
I will be the love of your life
and be with you
in all your hardships
and puffy eyes
that even I can’t understand

it was always her
that tasted like narcotics
and smoke
everything bittersweet in between

but to her
i tasted of water
and time passing
a shrug, a sideways glance

she tasted like cotton candy
and had skin pale like snow
she was the reason
i gave up painting
the colours
and the strokes

her lips tasted like narcotics
and yet i felt the revolution
kissed her fingertips
and smelled marijuana

the dark eyes


and the reckless abandon

but she consumes my mind all the time
you can't grow a new heart

but ****,
i wish i could.

she is not the innocence
of the sweet ladies in the water
but the sirens that call to me
beckoning,
never touching

she no longer resembles
the sunset at the ocean
but the violent waves
that tossed the ship

and she is never the sunshine
that guided my mast to shore
but the red light, the fog
that left me wondering
and
lost