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like a fish out of water
walking backwards upstream
grand illusion of compliance
buying nothing sight unseen

respecting their essence
detached from their path
connected in spirit
repelled by all wrath

norms without ethics
morality sans love
passion ever searching
a need to rise above

heart sinking hatred
mind numbing neglect
mountain moving greed
rarely circumspect

not infrequently i ponder
how my being was unfurled
wondering deeply in my soul
if i belong to another world
I wrote this for you a long time ago on a coffee stained napkin, after you left me, full of love, lingering in a cafe.

"For you, in all your follies and faults and the way they make you so perfect for me.
For you, in the moments that linger in the vehemently insignificant corners and corridors of things, as if drifted of their own grandure.
For you, for the words that spill to the floor and the brilliant way you understand the deafening silence that follows.
For you, for your supernovas and clever shades, for your daylight smiles and nighttime skins.
For you, for your familiarity and the impossible truths that stand as martyrs to say that I have loved you before.
For you, despite the treachery and quiet sinister fun of the world.
For you, for making me so terribly scared of dying."
Yet here I am, in your wake, so full of so many thoughts and demons. Know that I have died, that I have loved and lost with equal measure.
streams of consciousness
thoughts distill to lifetimes lost
water under bridge
I am not afraid of darkness
Why should I be?
The brightest of all lights
Is shining within me.
Your manly scent
Infinite bliss
The special treatment
Undiscovered stares
Your "I am a gentleman" mode
Counting the patterns on your shirt
Unintended strolls in the corridor
Spending hours at the water tap
Guilty ignorance
Being young at heart
Hilarious awkwardness
The "what the heck did I just say?"
Uncontrollable blushing
These things are as many as there are drops in rain
Do not miss me yet
For it will rain
Once again.
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