Surrounded by the great lakes
Perhaps this is why I feel like I'm drowning

I miss someone
I never knew

Humanity asleep asleep for a while
pillaging Mother Earth
Spreading hate and destruction
Lies and separation
Flash alert to consciousness
Flash drive installed with wisdom
Flash of energies come
DNA changes
Instincts evolve with birthed ones knowing
Hence Humanity changes
one moment at a time

A new Earth

Trauma tried to mold me
Hiding away I developed phobias
Shrinking into myself  
He planted the layers of  youth with deceit
While I held the truth
Dissociating and unfolding mentally
My clothes,  my body felt foreign
His lips tried to instill shame
I'm weary and shy now living with anxiousness
Why did not anyone see this? I often ask why
Blinded and fooled or just ignored?
I want to be secure again and begin to heal
Seize the moment to have control
No longer a hostage in my own mind

I night dream, I day-dream
Falling everyday
As the distance calls for me
I'm trying to cling for growth
Yet , I'm searching for my obituary  
I memorized the words
A flower face with electric taste
Tiny shadow with a fierce force

Eating the night away
With Jack on my tongue  I forget my name  
Needles,patches and antipsychotics
On this exotic edge of my release  
My waist has never been thin
My ribs have never been a bird bath
I'm to hungry to stay alive
This hollow patched affair
The shape of  anxiety drowns me
Forcing all the air from my lungs
Lost  lovers and forgotten friends
Suddenly appear
Tasting my words like never before
Death is contagious
As everyone sits in the shadows  
I'm surrendering to the ghosts
I have made love to razor blades
Had affairs with whiskey and pills
Have danced over lines I said I would never cross

Falling into a nest, that don't feel like home
I'm going to jump
I will not arise

It was only tonight
That while kissing my husband
That I remembered that I despise wet lips and kisses
I removed his saliva with the back of my hand
Whiskers rubs is what he called them
At first it was playful
Eskimo kisses
Daddy's lap
His tight jeans
Some soft lotion
A movie
But why again tonight?