Then I wonder what's wrong with that part of society
That wants to follow rather than lead
Inside there's a hollow part of me
That needs to be filled with something Godly
I'm blind
Desperate to see
One day I hope to be as free as the trees
All I have to do is believe

I am 24 going on 25
Not knowing where to go, but in my room to hide
From a judgmental world full of deception and lies
So much darkness inside
Hard to open my eyes
When secretly, I wish I would die
Struggling to seek positivity
When I find it, it doesn't seem to last
Still bothered about mistakes and wishing I could change the past
Everyone doesn't move on as fast as others do
There are many people like me who hurt just like you

No matter how many songs are in repeat
You take the time to get to know me
You smile at me before you go to sleep
Your joyous dimples make me weak
Sometimes I get lost in you and I can't speak
An attraction so noticed sometimes awkward when being friendly
I wonder if I'm the only one feeling this heavy

It's almost as if I'm mourning a death
Death of a memory in the past that will never come back
Life goes on and people do too
Maybe he called just to say "I still want you"
Just not the way I want him to
Crying all night "boo hoo"
At least I stopped myself from being used

In some of my darkest hours you'd show up with flowers and shower me with unconditional love
I thank God for creating a miracle
In a man that has so much good in him that I never thought I'd deserve
Especially after all the lessons I had to learn
Don't give your love away like candy
It will only leave you sour
Just remember your in charge of your own decisions and believe in your inner strength and power

Negative voices
Thoughts of pain
Feelings of regret
Self esteem drained
It's hard to maintain
And remain sane
Self image ****** up
But he still loves me anyway

Plenty ******* two faced
Tryin to keep a straight face
Been in my own lane
Ever since the 3rd grade
Been doin this, no sweat
Followers, I don't get it
My parents raised a leader
Taught me I'm the leader of my own quest
The keeper of my destiny
Trying to unlock my mind
But I hold the key
Don't care if you don't like me
Got folks that do
Far away from those who spite me
I like me
So do you
Always twisting my words
Making everything untrue
But keep an ear out for each one
Everything I say and do
Has deeper meaning unbeknownst to you
But you will make your own judgements
And see me as a monster
When I'm really just trying to stay away
From all the unnecessary drama