i don't i don't i don't

but i am curious
and i want to know

what does it feel like to fall in love with another soul
to know their deepest secrets but still love them
and see the worst parts about them
but that only magnifies the good

what does it feel like when it's 3 am and you can't sleep
and not because you're lonely
but because you're not anymore

what does it feel like to become so vulnerable
that you would let another soul cut open your chest
and let them see everything you've kept hidden

what does it feel like to trust someone so much
you'd let them hold your heart in their hands?

i don't know

but what i do know is everything fades to gray
and people can ruin things and make mistakes

so what does it feel like when it all breaks
when the person you love stabs your heart
and they swear they didn't mean to do it

when they look at you and you look at them
but all you see is boredom seeping through their eyes
and they don't want to kiss you anymore
and the hand they hold yours with feels limp and lifeless

what does it feel like when trust finally turns into a knife
and the person you thought would never hurt you the most
would stab you over and over with all of their lies

what does it feel like when the person you love
begins to grow increasingly distant from you
and you can't do anything but watch
and just hope that maybe you'll get over it soon?

what does it feel like?

i don't want to fall in love

i don't i don't i don't

What's more deadly
A gun or a thought?

A gun gives you the opportunity,
But a thought pulls the trigger.

i've found it's impossible to
let go of someone
who's standing
across the room.

its quite funny
how people change
you think you know them
but you dont

its like
you just never know
what to expect

people change
they change all around you
like the leaves of fall
signifing the forthcoming winter

people just come and go
you need to learn to expect it
sometime they just leave your life
for no just reason

but sometimes life
doesnt give you
all the answers

(b.d.s.)

Here I am, looking up causes for headaches
at 1 am
when I know it will always come back to you.
My hands found the bottom of the ocean
as I cleaned old movie tickets out of my car today.
I can see your honesty from here.
It took my composure on its way out the door.
I’m not bitter anymore.
I’m just tired.
And I’m tired of being so tired.
I’m sorry you didn’t stay.
I’m sorry that I apologize
for all the times you didn’t.
I keep forgetting these things
are not one-sided,
and so,
I’m sorry I gave you everything
for nothing in return.
You tasted like love,
and I was parched.
Still am.

Depression is like a bottomless hole
Depression is wanting to go home when you're already there
Depression is being alone surrounded by friends
Depression is laughing the loudest while being the saddest

Depression is a bottomless hole
That ***** all life and happiness from your body
Depression is a bottomless hole in your soul
Depression is an invisible force that pulls you deep down into the hole

When you're at the edge of the hole
Looking down into it
The force grabs you by your feet and pulls you down
And the more you go down
More strength you need to climb up
And less will you have to do so

Depression is a bottomless hole in your soul
That ***** all life and happiness from your body
Don't let it pull you down completely
Do not reach the bottom

Is depression

supposed to

be this

wildly crazy

and painful

and bland

and worth

the loss

of tears?