My entire life, I have never been over 107 pounds
even as a child, I fought my mother
I pushed my dinner away, I said NO
I don't want any
I'm not hungry
It didn't make sense to anyone
Not even to me
It wasn't until I had grown up that I realized
That the nightmares I had, occured when I was awake
And the hands that I was feeling underneath my blankets were not my own
So followed the years of self-blame, and razors, and pills
and hate
Eventually, though, I stopped blaming myself
I was not at fault for the actions of a few sick men
I was but a baby
An innocent child
And although this is true
I am no longer the helpless little girl
She is still within me
Urging me not to let the numbers rise
Because the bigger I am
The more space I take up
The more they can touch.