Your shoes were tied
And I realized someone's fingers danced with the laces before you found your body under a sheet.
You have a name
And a family and people who love and care about you and who's lives are now shattered.
Yesterday you lived
And breathed and laughed and made all these memories and plans as though you'd have a day after tomorrow.

But you don't.
Tomorrow didn't come for you.
You're forever stuck in the realms of yesterday
Never more than you were the moment before you breathed your last.

Did you hold it?
That last breath that filled your lungs.
Did you keep it trapped in your lungs, frantically searching your brain for ways to survive them?
Or was it the last of many short comrades, minds racing through faces of those you love and words that will always be left unsaid?

I don't know you.
I don't know your name.
But I know you had one, and that's enough to impress upon me an inkling of what has happened here.
Of life lost.

I grieve for you
And the fingers that tied your shoes and touched the skin of those you love being put six feet under.

I'll never forget you.
I can't.

You have a name that they write songs about
Your life made sure of that.
Even more solidified in the way you died.

Did you know you would be next?
Have some sort of feeling?
Your eyes have nothing left to cry.

I'll pick up where you left off
The future not soon forgetting the past.
I'll make sure of that.

I try not to think of your hardened face 
Of the tone in your voice 
Stabbing knives in my heart
Already bleeding from the day before. 

I close my eyes and think instead 
Of sitting alone under open skies 
Memorizing the placement of the stars. 

I think of rain soaking into my skin 
A cold comfort in a place unfamiliar 
Yet it still felt like home 

I try to dwell on canals and rivers 
Of languages foreign to me 
Spoken as a mother tongue 
Begging me to learn it too. 

I am more than today. 
I am more than your opinion. 
Of how you leave me bleeding. 
Stepping on my heart that's pierced on the floor. 

The tears may cloud my vision today 
But it won't always be this way. 
It can't. 
That's no way to live at all. 

©

Walk yourself through it again
You'll get yourself through this again.

Deep breath in
Count to four
Let it out
Go once more.

Remind yourself of why you're here
This day will end, silence the fear

Deep breath in
Count to four
Let it out
Go once more.

Shut your brain off to the lies
Ignore the hurt, numb your mind

Deep breath in
Count to four
Let it out
Go once more.

You deserve life.
You deserve to enjoy life.
Don't let this cut off the only source to living your life that exists.

Deep breath in
Count to four
Let it out
Go once more.

The blank page…

A writers greatest friend
Or greatest enemy.
When we're all faced with the possibility
That our last piece
Will be our, last, piece.