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Emanuel Martinez Aug 2011
There are many constraints that are beyond our control.
They often fight to define the boundaries that we are able to overcome.
However, it is our experiment with our lives to figure out how to resist.

We are not powerless even though we have no power.
We are not losing just because we are lost.
Our will to affront the usurpers of our life’s freedom is our own weapon.

We must have the conviction to overcome the norms of definition
That fight to establish who we are and where we fall within our own societies.

We must not succumb to the norms of definition
Of a Hispanic, a first generation American, an urban denizen,
A middle class or on the verge of poverty individual, a minority, or a foreigner.

We must find a way to resist even if it leads to our end.
January 16, 2011
endorsinglife.blogspot.com
Emanuel Martinez Jan 2013
Matters of love, you’ve reaped into me
Dynamics of knowledge, richness and profoundness
Bringing age to my heart

Knowing love and knowing brutal pain
More real, more powerful, more beautiful
Gifted consciousness filling missing part of potential
Crumbling down our incompleteness

Loving you more than consciousness of my thoughts will allow
More than the passion of my intensity
To be a model of human brilliance
Manifests within the existence of my being

I am a furnace
You are the only flame
Sparking this wild fire

I am a candle, inanimate,
You are the flicker that gives it life, light, soul

I'm am intrinsic potential waiting to be actualized
You are the catalyst of life breathing momentum into me
Through your existence

A flower, a beacon, weapon to my oppression and pain
Appropriation of your love, impossibility in my life

Immaculate potion to my sorrow
Like a wild flower
Withstanding thunder, hurricanes, and rain

An atom from another dimension
Your pulse travels through my heart and my soul

As dangerous as ore
You are the purest form
Deep underneath farther than I can explore
You are the most beautiful creation

You are the end to my means
Unconceivable new reality to my rebellion

The revolution I await
In the deepest part of my existence
Knowing it might never be

Key to my chains
Chant to my muted voice

You are the embodiment and the soul of my freedom
Always escaping from me
January 18, 2013
Emanuel Martinez Nov 2010
I feel alone
In this battle
Hope is a mere passage
In my life's times

Don't know who to turn to
What if I'm going at it alone
Don't know who to turn to
What if they label me wrong

Never wanted to be this way
But my feelings don't give a ****
Have to stop at some point
Take a way and leave the other
My mind murmurs more
As time moves on

Don't know who to turn to
What if I'm going at it alone
Don't know who to turn to
What if they judge me wrong

Always striven to live a good life
So I fight with my emotions
But every time I stop
To go the righteous way
I mess up, falter, get stuck again

It's back to the warfare in my mind
Infiltrating most thoughts going on by

I feel all alone
In this battle
Hope it'll soon be over
Don't want any casualties
To injure a good man
December 2009
Emanuel Martinez Jul 2014
I'm a menace, baby, menace
Mess with me I'm a furnace
Come near
Imma put you in flames

I ****, baby, ****
But you still adore me
Rather fill yourself up
Then give me up

You're a zombie
I'm the poison
That's keeping you there

You're lustful for everything in the world
My seeds plant desire in your mind
Keeping you hungry for more

Money, baby, money
Your god, your mandate, your sacred script
July 3, 2014
Emanuel Martinez Dec 2012
In our life, time won't matter
Ooh don't you worry baby
I'll be right here waiting for you

In our future, I see we'll be together
Ooh don't you fret baby
Right now, we might be too young to settle

In our world, there will be no trouble
Ooh don't you get scared baby
You'll be alright till I come safe you

In our thoughts, there will be no words of sorrow
Ooh don't you think too hard baby
My lips will one day capture you

In our hearts, appropriations will be on loan
Ooh don't be too quick to sell out baby
When I come around, you'll be mine forever

Ooh don't you worry about me baby
Stop thinking about me, until the time is right
I'll always be here for you

Until that day, to have loved you
Is what I'll be proud of, Is what I hope for
Even if I don't know who you are

Till that moment when I know you are
I'll be ready; happy knowing you exist
December 11, 2012
Emanuel Martinez Oct 2012
I was broken, I was severely unafraid
Nothing mattered anymore
Because I had already lost
My family and my friends

And my depression was kicking in too hard
I wasn't trying, I wasn't caring enough
Love was never enough
Though there it was in overwhelming amounts

I never belonged to anyone
No one ever lived for me
And life was being suffocated from me
That emptiness within me was bruising me

How polite, how unapologetic
How fast, hurdling down, my decisiveness
I started tumbling down, without fear
Shameless, without nerves or apathy

I was brilliant in the limelight
But behind the shadows I was being swallowed
By anonymity and solitary confinement
The darkness was strangling me

I left everything I was, to reach everything
I thought I could be
Didn't I get everything I wanted?
Yeah, I thought this was the plan

But I became someone else
Other desires became attached to me
My heart changed, my mind bent, my thoughts evolved
I lost focus, in sight of love and desire

I never bothered to figure
What it meant to be happy, within me
The work was tedious, but only on the exterior
No time allotted to the dwindling interior

I was broken, I was severely unafraid
Nothing mattered anymore
I could be starving a thousand times more
I've been disillusioned many times more by banquets of contempt
October 12, 2012
Emanuel Martinez Nov 2010
Beautiful life
Is not appreciated
By those who live it

Abundant freedom
Is overrated
By those who’ve always had it

Reigning Peace
Is overlooked
By those who wage a war to keep it intact

True Love
Is degraded
By cheaters and liars

But those who suffer through the horrors of the world
Cherish every small beautiful moment
Thinking that such incidents are scarce

Those who don’t have a say in the outcome of their live
Yearn to be released from their chains
While, others conformed but unhappy
Fail to know the full meaning of freedom

Those who live in oppression and fear
Wish it could be over, but some have never felt peace

Those who need someone to love them
Are left alone, trying not to give up the fight
But they just can’t seem to love themselves

Beautiful life
Beautiful life
Let them have a beautiful life.
Emanuel Martinez Dec 2010
I am blind
And I ain't blind
To the different social classes
And their faces
I try and try to be impartial
But my fears and preconceptions
Give way to prejudice of thought

Love and unity fill my mind
Yet when its time
To effect some change
My feet quiver
And words can't formulate

I want to tell my brethren
you are special to me
and I love you just the same
As anybody else
But I'm scared of what he will respond
Will he reject me as we are not the same
Will he embrace me and bring forth a seed of change

I am blind
And I ain't blind
To the disdain classes afford one another
Man threatens to discard the fact we're all the same

So I wonder
Can we look beyond facades
Strip it all down to our core

Don't we all want to feel the same
Maybe we can toughen up and take down the ranks
That impede us from becoming one-another's friend
2010
Emanuel Martinez Jul 2011
Aiming to lay claim to light.
But hiding under the cove.
A landslide is between darkness and light.
Probably can make it.
But there's a chance rocks will threaten the attempt.
Making the brave fall prey to fate.

Prime is time for crime.
Capture lucidity before insanity takes toll.
No rules or laws searching for something good.

Victims try your lives at discord.
Climb out before debris covers the only way out.
Pray light may stay at bay.
Back out the stark dark before you lack heart.
Bright light might right your plight.

Aiming to lay claim to light.
But hiding under the cove.
A landslide is between darkness and light.

Attempting to leave thoughts in the deep.
Clinging to your feet.
They struggle and you pain in the fight out.

Cunning memories come hunt you out of the darkness.
Don't give up thoughts of better days.
Tying wailing thoughts to the walls.
Run, heave them, leave them to save one.
You
July 29, 2011
Emanuel Martinez Jun 2011
There is someone who I love
Someone who hurt this Christmas
And there are many others out there
Who are bereft of the brightest warmest sentiments the heart can experience

While the rest of us are ignorant of these happenings
All wrapped up in presents and drinking cheers
We fall short of being grateful for having somewhere to belong

For some the winter in their hearts is not nearly over when the holiday season is over
They are hurt from within and have yet to find somewhere to belong

It is sadness which confines me
The thought that my loved one goes sick
From within every Christmas

To think the winters in my love's soul
Are but shared by so many around the world
Yet the rest of us are careless, selfish and blinded by our needs

How many Christmases and winters would I spend in hurt and suffering
Just so that the one I love felt right at home for one Christmas night

How forgetful are we that a warm room and a petty meal
Might be a human necessity to subsist through the winter
But love and a sense of belonging is all that keeps us alive

We can not afford to not touch lives
And share our love and kindness with everyone

My loved one, if you ever fear you're alone
Don't worry God knows where you belong
If anything in my heart there is a place for you

If you feel alone you can belong with me
Strangers and enemies if you feel alone you can belong with me

Let us all be fearless in our efforts to share our blessings
We can not afford to not let others know they belong with us

It is a vicarious pain which I have come to assimilate as my own
The hurt which the one I love feels at times
And which many others feel all the same

The world is full of another type of hunger and yearning
Thus we shall not weaver in a journey
To help others find meaningfulness in their lives
And help them feel like they belong

If I could only accomplish to make the one I love feel a sense of belonging...

And if you feel like you can't make another feel like they belong
Because you yourself feel alone in this world
Please never give up the fight

Look within your self and know
There is someone out there like me
Yearning and waiting to let you know
Here...you are loved
Here...you are meaningful
Here...you belong

Look at a stranger's eyes and smile
Look within in their soul and find solace in their existence

There are more than six billion souls out there
And although on the outside we seem different
In the end we are all connected and we belong
December 26, 2010
Emanuel Martinez Nov 2010
Sometimes got to feel
A little hopeful
But end up disappointed

Got to feel a little happy
But instead end up sour

Done a lot to date
Accomplished and recognized
You'd think that be enough

Mask up troubles
Blur them out of mind
And just be proud

But if only one could settle
Without peace of mind
2009
Emanuel Martinez Apr 2015
I am worth being valued for existing
Not only in the moments
That I become relevant, necessary, or useful
For lustful, celebratory or inspirational insanity

I am not a lollipop or an exotic destination
Stop exploring me *******
Because you salivate over this Hispaniola
Beautiful island desecrated and decimated

How many beautiful spirits will you make savages
How many pure rivers will you **** blood on
How many conquests will you claim a stake in
How much balance will you disturb and subjugate
to the trauma of your transitory exploration

There's no impunity for conquerors
Who taste, plunder, disguise disapproval in their apologies and move on

There's no impunity for conquerors
Who pick and choose who's worth
Of validation, when, & how

There's no impunity for conquerors
Who play with men and women
Hierarchize their prey
But fail to acknowledge
Their man-child whitewashed
Hidden agendas & rigged market values

Conquerors haunted by the trauma they've caused
Will not be absolved by the revolution

Neither will the revolution be the breast
That heals conquers who are traumatized
By the realization of their own fuckery
April 22, 2015
Emanuel Martinez Jun 2011
Riding on the moon
My name is heard
Trying not be blue

The tide of life is high
Sounds of rationality become drowned
By the thoughts of disbelief

Beauty is really overwhelming
Dreaming is a tool for living
Surviving is merely all that is possible

Tonight the breeze of the night
Will cradle the thoughts of my pain
Beauty of the moon will transfix this being
All that will remain is solemness and calm

The shallowness of the frame
Now a day the gray cannot forget the crime
Ease of mind, for that there is time
Emanuel Martinez Aug 2011
The depthness of the soul manages to reach
A richness that breathes something good.
That is when the hurt seems to run away.

The soul must just constantly quiet the mind.
Quiet, quiet - my shield. Everything is alright.
You must stop pestering the heart for you are not being rational
And that is driving the heart to dysfunction beyond repair.

Take my pain up to the heavens above and let it flee to nonexistence.
Place the coldness of my thoughts.
How have we all come to this point where we all are full of pain.

Crying only seems to relieve the hurt
But the depthness of the crisis is only widening.

Sometimes separation and isolation
Is the best strategy for a stronger resolution
To such matters as the ruptured, wounded heart.

There is no reconciliation between
What has happened and what it no longer is.
Stepping out of the soul is the only way.
June 2, 2011
www.endorsinglife.blogspot.com
Emanuel Martinez Oct 2011
Crawling inside the depths
are fears of inadequacy and lose of hope...hopelessness.

Senselessness becomes rational where before it had no place.

Often when the spirit is momentarily uplifted
panic abounds of the ensuing crashing down by a broken heart.
Despite this familiar thought, right now this is not the concern.

Joy and harmony must rob the soul
of hurt, anger, and a shattered heart.

The tides of time do not stop for no one stone.
Take your stride soul; be as powerful as you can be.

Spirit be not afraid to kidnap this being
from self inhalation through self-inflicted pain.
Mend the leakage of this being's punctured heart.
June 2, 2011

endorsinglife.blogspot.com
Emanuel Martinez Oct 2011
Prayer is said to be powerful.
Well this soul begs the Grandest Force in this universe
to place love in this being's life.

A flower of one's own that radiates with one's soul
and reciprocates the actions
to nurture it beyond disbelief.

This spirit is not sully
wondering into such ways is only dangerous.

If this heart has already been dismantled
by the only flower who received the transfusion of one's love
the being cannot take that back.

Reconciliation regarding the breathtaking
and impossible cannot be taken back.
Chunk after chunk...that part of the mechanism is falling to disrepair.
June 2, 2011
endorsinglife.blogspot.com
Emanuel Martinez Jan 2012
Corridors, Corridors, Corridors
Turning corners, fortified walls

Falling dust settling on grime
Windows shattering from flying hail

Pain itemized for personal use
The heart is bleeding
From its place in the innermost cabinet

The storm is not passing
The ghostly folly is penetrating
Weakening beams through their creaking

Aimless sounds of abandon and disrepair
Are whistling silently through
The light of the sun and blanket of the moon
That seep in through the holes of the sealing

The elements of the world are caving in
As I walk through the corridors
Searching for a way out
endorsinglife.blogspot.com

January 2, 2011
Emanuel Martinez Mar 2013
Does it sting you if I tell you, you're a ******, a thief, and a liar by association?
Sure you've been convicted and you wear your prison tags with pride
This is not a tale, this is not for your entertainment, I'm talking about you!

Wearing your abercrombie and fitch, am I interrupting the call on your iphone!
Sure what you buy has been cleansed to hide the stench of blood and sweat
Do you know where it's made? Do you care about those who made it?

Think you got it bad? Wait until you see factory workers cry!
They can't because their tears dehydrate their malnourished bodies
Your thinking its alright to be at ease, better think twice

Panic, your self-preservation is not safe, your body's agency will soon give way
Living in ghettos, urban centers, metropolises, seeking comfort among congestion
Depositories for the excesses of humanity, fresh produce scarce, drugs plenty
Commercial, social, fashion districts hiding alley ways and misery
March 9, 2013
Emanuel Martinez Oct 2011
I think I'm going to die of love

To be loved, to be needed, to be wanted
That's all I've ever wanted

Pebbles in the sand
Moving down underneath the stream

Our lives are washing away
with every stroke of water

Wasting away, eroding like precious metal
Emotions are changing color
They're getting older, they're getting bolder

I think I'm going to die of love

Facing every border, I'm holding on for it
The release of me, to be held and worn away

Candle breathing, dripping, burning
Our souls are hanging, our souls are begging
The warmth is only dim and disappearing

No, our souls are not freezing
The cold is just teasing

The channels are still shifting
The thought of love is hurtful

Going close to the edge
We're close to faltering, we're close to falling over

We're prey to love, we're frayed by love

I think I'm going to die of love
October 26, 2011
endorsinglife.blogspot.com
Emanuel Martinez Feb 2013
What are we scared of?

Fending off hoards of oppressed human beings
Of acquisition, of possession, of autonomy, of legitimacy
Never been anyone; why empower them now

Legitimized crucification
No exoneration for grave transgression
Morality of mankind stabbed, under siege, defiled
Integrity constantly bloodily ***** like the virtue of women during war
Transgression, nonetheless, legitimized not by the law of a god or science
But that of a righteous m/an

Bodies without agency traversing into illegitimacy
Becoming illegal human beings
Transgression thrusting them into humiliation
Derailed, deprived, dehumanized
Earning rights to hunger, sickness, homelessness in the eyes of civilized man

Growing global economic hubs welcoming
Illegitimate bodies with contempt, violence, violation
Don't belong, lives becoming expendable, adversary to structured society

Trafficking, dragging, trading disempowered labor across meaningless borders
Nationalists disregarding with much pride illegitimates' desires for life
Killing them after you've beaten their soul, in negligence, extracting the fruit of their labor

Xenophobia killing Japan, dying refusing to open its borders to starving workers
When will a muslim sister in headscarf travel across ALL Europe without discrimination
Be careful America, you're murdering liberty's meaningless oath to the homeless of the world
Preaching the birth of the greatest nation on earth on the backs of immigrants across time
When it refuses to cease the political firing of condemnation against displaced human beings

Greatest plunderers of this world, those who set the rules, guarding their loot
Having had displaced black, colored, and brown bodies across time
Abducting black bodies from mother Africa
Contaminating mother America's native bodies with the corruption of whiteness
Causing mother Asia to discourage its pores from allowing the mobility of bodies

Greatest plunderers of this world, those who set the rules, guarding their loot
Legitimizing their stolen appropriations for the world to see
By excluding those they extract the wealth from
Displaced bodies achieving transnational identities in pursuance of unreachable wealth
For far too long trickled out of their home nations
To build the wealths of the new homes they're delegitimized from

Every country great or small falling in line with border policies
Desperate developing countries much too worried to contain fleeting flocks
Developed and thriving nations too ready to ****** the souls of bodies without agency

World's population imploding
Countries' power structures hungering to exploit the oppressed within their borders
Majority of us peasants, poor, without agency, moving across borders
Everyone's in danger of falling in line with the masses
Or the monopolistic governments deliberately creating monstrous line divides
February 4, 2013
Emanuel Martinez Jan 2011
Don't criticize, don't criticize that man
For enjoying something you deem a waste of time

Let him have something for himself

In our petty little lives
There is nothing keeping us going

Taking care of a wife and children
That is the only duty he is obliged to

Mother and wife must give up her life
Once that child is born
There is no greater purpose than for her to see that child through

The only thing giving them hope
Is the love hanging by a thread
And when there is no faith hope tends to snap

Don't criticize, don't criticize them
For seeming different than you

Let them have something for themselves
If it means keeping them alive

Working double shifts,
Overworked and underpaid
Her hands are always in pain

And you dare snare at her
Because she doesn't dress as well as you

Never home and undernourished
He is only trying to provide for his home
By being at work day and night
Feeding himself is only secondary to the hunger of his child

Don't criticize, don't criticize me
For being wrong, I will fall down to my knees

Let me have something for myself
If it means keeping me alive
January 2011
Emanuel Martinez Nov 2010
Tengo un petalo
De la primera vez que te vi
Una sola flor te di
Todo lo que degaste
Fue el auroma de gardenias
Y unos petalos que con el viento
Volaron y flotaron hacia mi

Y el tiempo paso
Pero tu no regresabas a mi
Nadamas sostenia los petalos
Pensando ala mejor podria sentirte a ti
Y tu fragancia regresaba por ahi
En ese momento con nostalgia
Pensaba por que tu no estas aqui

Y el tiempo paso
Los petalos se secaron y volaron lejos
Por desasos como tu memoria
Corrieron sin poderlos rescatar

Y ahora tengo un solo petalo
De la primera vez que te vi
Es el ultimo que quedo
Los demas el viento llevo

Ultimo petalo tambien
Casi desaparecio con tu memoria
Pero inevitable mi corazon
Nunca olvidara to fragrancia
Siempre te conservara
Cuando un petalo caiga cerca de mi
Emanuel Martinez Jan 2013
Just a little, just a small, just a bit
Exuding burst of energy
Embodiment of brilliance
Manifested in human flesh

Wondering while we walk
Trembling trying to talk
Mankind mostly marred momentum

Humanity how humiliating, hiding
Forefathers frowning, from our fabricated forget
Refusing redemption, requiring rancor and retribution  

Always armed, allured, awaiting angry accusations
Derailed doves, these daggers drag down
Losing level landings, lacerating learning's lifting

Just a little, just a small, just a bit
Exuding burst of energy
Embodiment of brilliance
Manifested in human flesh

I implore indignation, it's incarceration of our intrinsic immensity
At the core of our conception, captivating creation captured
Anyone, everyone, afraid of the amazement accrued under our armor
Profoundness, endless as the universe, favoring our existence

Just a little, just a small, just a bit
Exuding burst of energy
Embodiment of brilliance
Manifested in human flesh
January 13, 2013
Emanuel Martinez Oct 2013
No home, no less
No ruse, no truce, no stress
Just kind of mindless

Children playing in the wild west
Ain't no army, no fighting there
Only slides, swing sets, starring our best

No fear, no less
No lies, no cries, no sadness
Just the tireless

Kid president makes his address
Ain't no nations, no half-breeds
Only humans, planet earth
Where everyone the best
September 19, 2013
Emanuel Martinez Nov 2010
Its been years, its been years
Almost there but not nearly out
The future is left in suspense due to fears

A glass vacuum is filled with good feelings
And happiness seems to cozen time
As the mind is caught in memory's vine
The unstable balance of it threatens to falter and topple

How well will this wonder withstand
The hard hits of reality as it strike the inside over and over again
More and more cracks over time
Deepen and seep in right into the core
Threatening to bring fears in

The glass vacuum will shatter
Intoxicating good feelings with realities
And the suspension of time will be absorbed by worries
It will simply rot the stillness that remains
June 24, 2010
Emanuel Martinez Nov 2010
It's been only four years
Of your life, passing on by

You came awkward and shy
What to say, which way to go
You didn't know
What everything was about

Now your on your way out
And everything seems clear

It's been only four years
Of your life, passing on by

Each year you grew
And you grew a little more
That smile no longer confound
You made friends
who were fond of you

This school was full of them
Friends for life and more

It's been only four years
Of your life, passing on by

It feels like a lifetime to some
And others are ready to run
But no one will forget
All the good times that have gone

Hilarious, sad, profound
Memories were behind every corner
Unforgettable people talking to us
Their face will be
cemented in our minds

It's been only four years
Of your life, passing on by

And great teachers were always
Pushing you beyond
putting seeds in your mind
Now your ready to harvest
The ideas that fill your mind

These have only been four years
  a temporary settlement
In our life
Beautiful times flying on by

Now it's time to enter
The rest of our lifetime
Making a difference,
Surely in our mind
June 24, 2010
Emanuel Martinez Dec 2010
I love you

But I don't even miss you
Known each other for years
but life has finally led us apart

Suddenly your confused
Why do I love you so much
When you're so different than I

Can this friendship withstand
The test of a passing time

We're so far apart
We enjoy a laugh with someone else
And we forget to text back
Because were having a good time

I love you, I guess
Its been so long how could I not
But I don't even miss you
When I have to go out there alone
having an adventure everyday

You're no longer there
Beside every step I take
I used to think it would be impossible
Without you being there by my side
Thought I would be lost

Truth is I'm fine going at it alone
I'm spreading my wings and we're drifting apart

But don't worry this friendship is still intact
We ain't going nowhere

And even if we cease being friends
You will always be a part of my heart
November 2, 2010
Emanuel Martinez Dec 2012
No, ashes no longer fall
From the sky

Those diamonds are precious
Between your thighs

And that pounding in your chest
Fossil fuel, so indespensable
Can keep someone like me full

I'm a minner ready to fall
Into you, most valuable ore

The mere thought of you
Can warm me more
Than coal or wood

You can heat my heart,
Set my body ablaze
A thousand degrees higher
Then lava consuming land

No, ashes no longer fall
From this sky

You must have come
To save me

How brave we,
Knowing love is dangerous
Knowing it can fail,
Trying with no fear or avail

My manifestation of love,
You rise from the shadows
Letting me know I can be yours

Like warm water dew drops
I see you trying to attempt
To hydrate, fortify this force of nature

No, ashes no longer fall
From our sky

Taking it one precious step at time
If our paths allows us
Like two cells engineering one being
Living one life knowing we have each other
December 28, 2012
Emanuel Martinez Jul 2011
Get ready to ramble no time to scramble.
Fumble, stumble, or tumble and you will crumble.
Stand stable and be the probable trouble.

Get ready to ramble no time to scramble.
Cradle the brothel and blood you will satchel.
Straddle the mantle of ease and squeeze.
It will handle the pressure before you flee.

Get ready to ramble no time to scramble.
Stop the babble and label the cards on the table.
Look at yourself and separate the feeble from the able.
Prove you're trouble, disable the fable.

Double the effort, don't be too noble.
Hackle the pain, insecurity shackle it too.

Get ready to ramble no time to scramble.
Fortune or doom be weapon not wound.
July 30, 2011
Emanuel Martinez Dec 2010
You're pretty
You're pretty awesome
Girl you glow

You're pretty
You're pretty cool
Girl everyone wants you around

You're pretty
You're pretty smart
Girl you'll make it far

No,  no one compares
You're special to me
No one compares
2010
Emanuel Martinez Dec 2010
God don't leave me behind

I'm not a ******
And I'm no thief

You show me love
Through every way
You know how

And ignore you, all the same
I don't acknowledge you as much as I should
Yet you bless me

I try to mend broken hearts
I care for those who don't care about themselves
I strive to make this world a better place

Isn't that enough to hear at least a word

I wished I loved you as much as my lover does
But I don't want to love you because I'm afraid my lover will eventually leave me if I soon don't

Although not loud enough to drown my praise and love for you
Small thoughts linger in my mind wondering if there's anyone out there hearing my pleas

I want to edify people's lives
But what good am I without you
But all the same I ain't no saint or priest

Can I deal with not believing in you?
If not you, than who or what

I'm distraught, and falling apart
Yet when I forget to remember you are there
I seem to be alright

What if I get to the point where you completely leave my mind
Nonsense, hope I fear not that thought

Strip me down and take me bare
Take everything away from me
And give it to someone who deserves it more
Perhaps my lover is overdue for your bliss

I know I ain't no one to demand you show yourself to me

Make me miserable and take me on a search
Trouble me until you show me light or let me die

I don't want to be voluntary to your love
You must force me to focus my love on you and no one else

How can this burning love and pain for humanity
Be randomly in my soul
Surely, there's something that's pushing me there
And that has to be you

My carnal body sins and I'm ashamed
But if you really want to show your love
Control my mind

My body ain't worth a dime
But my soul screams I want out!
There is a spirit in me and its searching for that place it belongs

The thought of a mechanism in the psychology of my mind
Faintly lingers while I research myself

Pure intentions then fight with cynicism invading the border lines

But how can man manufacture the soul
Am I being cynical for thinking maybe someone has or soon will

God is there a point in not believing in anything
Converting and finding myself in such a way is just a game

How can there be meaningfulness and purpose without faith
You have to be real but why don't I consider you in everything I do

Life is going so fast
I stray away from hearing
Music praising your name
Because I'm ashamed that I haven't prayed today

Suddenly I get annoyed
Why? Because I'm reminded to thank you for keeping me alive

You should be the center of my day
I'm sorry
In your love I want to change

And I don't want to feel guilty about being with the one I love

God don't leave me behind
December 10, 2010
Emanuel Martinez Jan 2013
Graffiti, Graffiti, Graffiti
Being bled onto
The landscapes between thighs

Incarcerating women's wombs
Justifying men's genes
Foreigners appropriating
Women's and men's sexualities

Losing the power to be
When changing our roles' long overdue
Gendering our words and attitudes

Man, who taught you to be a chauvinist!
Woman, who taught you to be a *******?
Don't put your god in gendered bigotry

Do man's emotions feminize him?
When will women freely carry torches!

What gender do you assign this voice?
What gender do you assign this words?
Will the masses even understand these choices?

Don't worry, my sexuality won't infect you
Criminalizing sexuality
Placing it front and center, implying that's all I am

Graffiti, Graffiti, Graffiti
Being bled onto
The landscapes between thighs

Graffiti, defiling the masses not high classes
Because men and women of society
Full of stride, take pride, in their gendered hyde

Graffiti, defiling the masses not high classes
Ignored hoods, barrios, countrysides, ghettos, projects
Devouring women's and men's bodies

Younger and younger people falling to ***/AIDS and STDS
Vaginas receiving the violence, wombs bringing misery
LGBT youth ****** into fire
Lost males (in mental chains) ****** to assert their manhoods

Graffiti, Graffiti, Graffiti
Full of dangerous chemicals, being sprayed onto
The landscapes between thighs
Attempting to legislate our stories, without warrant
January 29, 2013
Emanuel Martinez Jul 2011
No hoot, mute the flute.
No sweet music oozing out of the muse.
Orchestra is playing another tune.

Desperate sounds are coming out the pipes.
Chasing a different melody we can't sing.

Vocal chords are broken.
The voice of angels unrecognizable.
The ***** is missing keys.

Instruments are rusty and old.
We can't hear but whimpering is in the air.
For their struggling to push their share.

Been broken for far too long.
Don't know when the chaos of sound will come undone.
Disappeared harmonium is merely impossible to rescue.
July 30, 2011
Emanuel Martinez Mar 2014
The revolution will not take place in McDonald’s
Born out of lethargic, flaky or fickle bodies

Words and actions, powerful ammunitions
But vessels, our bodies, control those manifestations
An armament, the body
Matter without which revolution cannot happen

Us who struggle, while we waste away
Those invested in maintaining power and privilege
Don’t only safeguard their money
They protect their bodies too
And only that of the offspring
Invested in perpetuating power and privilege

They not only monopolize learning and leadership
As mechanisms of dominance and control
They run and eat to fuel that constant fight

Man, wealthy or poor
May give into the vise of fast food and intoxication
But those invested in control
Conscious of power and privilege are no fools
Fortified not only by lawyers and henchmen
But by doctors, fitness trainers, fresh harvests
Having the choice and access to fresh produce

Us colored children from the hoods, the barrios
Our moms, or dads, or single parents
Working month to month
Frustrated because we don't eat fruit and vegetables
Instead eating frozen, canned, chemically enhanced
Microwaveable dinners and junk foods

Skinny, chubby, or obese
Eating our twinkies, doritos, and coke
Can’t even run a block without running out of breath
Diabetes, heart disease, cholesterol, asthma, obesity
Not even looming in the back of our minds

We need youth to represent our communities
We need youth to fight for our communities
We need youth whose minds and stomachs are filled
Not with fodder and capitalist waste
But with food, ideas that fill them, fuel them
Not out of a temporary desire for satisfaction
Rather a prolonged political exercise to fortify themselves
As agents of a transformative process in the world

Frozen, canned, chemically enhanced lunches at school
Soda fountains, fried food, fast food, junk food
May always be subsidized, marketed, made affordable
To be part of your breakfast, lunch and or dinner

Still never reject an apple, orange or pear
Those with power and privilege
May not even have to think about
Their regimented diets
With endless fruits available to them

But for us, a single fruit made available to us
Has to be a daily reminder
An act of defiance
To chose to strengthen our bodies with it

A slippage of those invested in our chains
When the owners of industry
Have socialized us to think
Coca cola, pizza, and burgers
Are parts of our cultural identity
A modern industrialized upgrade
Our diet decisions driven by capitalist consumerism

There may be no specialized fitness trainers
Expensive equipment
Lush parks, jogging tracks, bicycle lanes, or bicycles
In our neighborhoods
But there is a space right next to your bed
Or a piece of floor where you live
And you have your body
Just do a few jumping jacks, push ups, sit ups

You need to have the patience and love
To protect and fortify not only your mind
But your body
To know that the more you fortify yourself
The more you are going to be able to fight exploitation
The more you are going to protect and fight
The ones you love, and even the ones
You won’t even realize you have saved as a result

We may not always have the access to healthy food
But we have the choice to request it collectively
In educational spaces and to take the initiative to exercise
March 25, 2014
Emanuel Martinez Jan 2013
How much pain
Can one heart take
Burning battle scars

Every time
I don't hear your voice
I'm lost

How could I fall so far
Always afraid to kiss you
Now there's no you

Aimless and alone
Hell in my heart, an upheaval
Power of my being, without appeal

Granting you freedom
How could you still steal
The whole of me

Shadow of me, walking
Acknowledging the best of me
Stored deep inside of you

Everything else is hopeless
As no distance or time
Has murdered my love for you

Veins chocking, turning blue
As my heart walks about within you
Leaving me here dying, its true

Aimless and alone
Hell in my heart, an upheaval
Power of my being, without appeal
January 22, 2013
Emanuel Martinez Aug 2011
Cosmos’ in line
Trying times are hanging up
Harrowing efforts
Are disappearing from the host

Flying through concrete
The gold trap is deepening
Pant pockets are disappearing

Frayed lives are whimpering
Too much whispering
Richness is changing our living

Galaxies full of notion and time
In our mind they harbor
Asteroids driving our madness
To the core of the emptiness inside

Ticketing our ride home
The rail blurts its bias for us to be gone
So we fall asleep with its subdued sounds
Until we’re out and about
On our own two vehicles

Blasting tasting racketeering tricksters
Devine, sane, and holly men
No one is the same but we’re falling in
Forces are at a tug of war
We’re just the pawns in between
August 5, 2011
http://endorsinglife.blogspot.com/
Emanuel Martinez Feb 2013
No option, but to be perceived
Violent, Aggressive, Irrational
Identity becoming an other

Words of malice, they mystify
Words of ignorance, they vilify
Subverting consciousness and articulation

Our identities, fighting to be
Autonomous landscapes
Hoping in anticipation for liberation

No real notion of we or me
Implicating it's inhuman to be foreign
When they represent as much of we and me

Scandalizing alternative identities as subversive
Advancing erasures in favor of hegemony
Propaganda favoring what is most white

Amelioration for the obliteration of cunning identity?
No more cooperation, ****** the euphemisms
That cover up, and help justify marginalization

Our identities, fighting to be
Autonomous landscapes
Hoping in anticipation for liberation

Time to ****, ******, massacre eurocentric ideology
We preach no violence, being not them, just we
But cannot request to be free, must tear it out by force

Eurocentric ideological pandemic inhabiting, inhibiting the soul of mankind
Unthinkable abomination concealed in the veil of appropriated minds
Necessitating exorcism for the incarcerated conscious mind

When we completely violate mandates of eurocentric ideology
When only we appropriate our own identity
When we all nullify the color of our skin
As profanity or inadequacy

Our identities, fighting to be
Autonomous landscapes
Hoping in anticipation for liberation
Will be awaiting purgation from alienation
February 1, 2013
Emanuel Martinez Mar 2013
Wake Up Wretched World,

I assert my Indigenous heritage
I self identify
With the ancestors of my continent

Identity afraid to articulate
Culture, unknowingly belonging to me
Cycle of shame now shattered

Product of love, hatred, lust, and desire
europeans plundering my mother Latin America
In chaos and violence, my skin's pigment
Has been engineered through the mestizaje
Of my Indigenous forefathers

How could I not forget my lineage
When the historical legacy of modernization
Has been to massacre the consciousness
Of where my people really come from

Erasing indigenous pride
Making Paisano and Indio
Synonymous with poverty and alienation
Insulting the humbleness
State of hunger you've left us in

Original lineage within me disturbed
So you push me to ambiguity and embarrassment
Not white, not indigenous?

Pure indigenous brothers and sisters silenced
Not an exploitable consumerist market, not in your campaigns
Not benefactors of your philanthropic development tactics
Bodies too costly to abuse, no reason to bring them
Into the neoliberal multinational corporate circuit

Constantly driving them off productive land
Because they choose to assert their identity
Live in collective communes, not owing you nothing
Waiting for them to make barren lands productive
So you can take those lands too

Not capturing an obscure history, these are not colonial times
This is the legacy of the european presence entering mother Latin America
21st century still defiling Indigenous cultures to civilize and modernize
March 14, 2013
Emanuel Martinez Jan 2013
Concrete full of blood
Skies, smoke-filled clouds

Poison, don't you see
INDUCING VOMITING
Of every freedom you hold

Incubators, landfills
For
Food deserts
Soul Scavengers
Bullet and knife showers
Parentless parents
Starving children
Hotbeds for addiction

Metropolises
Harvesting humans like ants
Where democracy manufactures
Oppressed consumers out of the masses
Majority starving for death

Poison, don't you see
INDUCING VOMITING
Of every freedom you hold

Those borders you revere
Hijacking your body and mind
Legislating no burning of the flag
Where they clean their blood-drenched hands on
Can you tell what side your on
When you agree, they hold a different nationality

When can there be actual solidarity?
Profets of freedom, alienating OUR power to be
When in doctrine, legislature, and policy
Hierarchizing who deserves to be free

In contempt, not compliance
In pain, not numb
Reactive, not inactive
Burning, boiling, shivering
Out of injustice

Poison, don't you see
INDUCING VOMITING
Of every freedom you hold

How can you keep suffering,
When you face the truth
January 22, 2013
Emanuel Martinez Sep 2011
I fell in love with myself
Touching the shallow end
Of the river bank close to my heart

Trying not to feel, feeling serene and loved
Every day I walk and I take everything
Get everything off my chest for you dear

Look in the mirror and watch that smile rise
Haven’t been there to take my own hand
Waiting for someone else to always be there

Watch me as I as step out of myself
I’m finally learning after time and time after time
I’m walking away, I’m stepping aside
I’m getting away, no matter what you say

I fell in love with myself
Touching the shallow end
Of the river bank close to my heart

We’ll always love me but were drifting away
Loving is settling in, it’s becoming a part of me
Trying to frame the goodness within

Outwearing the fears of my spirit
I’m no longer afraid; I’m no longer in fear
Crying is not showing the sadness of my heart

I’m tearing out of the joy in my soul
No longer belong to anyone else but myself
Flying away from myself, I’ve settled it down

I fell in love with myself
Touching the shallow end
Of the river bank close to my heart
September 14, 2011
endorsinglife.blogspot.com
Emanuel Martinez Jun 2011
It is a labor of love
That which I work

You ignore me
And you don't respond

I say, I love you
And you seem hollow
Take it lightly
That's all you can do

So afraid to know that is real
Thus you shunt me aside

Is this thing one sided!
No, I know that you need me
I want you to need me
I need you to need me

It is a labor of love
Which I will keep braking my back for

For some it takes a lifetime to fully fall in love
And to find a place to belong

Call me naive
But I think I've found a place of my own
In your heart

It is a labor of love
Which I will sweat through tears and blood

I wont rest until I've made you understand
There's only place for you in my heart

No matter if it brakes my heart
It is a labor of love
Which I will work over for your heart
January 9, 2011
Emanuel Martinez Jun 2011
Don't ruin the moment
We have a whole semester
To dismantle this ticking bomb
Surely we wont let it explode

Just smile at me and feel at ease
Don't occupy yourself with breaking my heart
There is plenty of time left to take jabs

Look at my eyes and for a moment
See the love in my soul
Don't deny me your warmth just yet
There is plenty of time to refuse my hugs

I know you'll soon be leaving my side
Is not you,is not me, its destiny tearing us apart
Even if you still loved me then
We'll be far apart

Its killing me inside
I want to be selfish for your love
Though I got to come to terms

I must let you go
But dont let me down so hard so soon
We have plenty of time to fall

Please give me
The best months of my life
And then you can leave
Make it seem like a dream
And then we can wake

Why end it so soon
When you know we'll be seeing each other
For a few months more

If we were meant to be
Than we will make it, far or near
But for now, can we please live in this happiness
Let us suspend it in time
January 8, 2011
Emanuel Martinez Dec 2010
Happiness makes my face light up and smile
Even when the days are lousy
And the skies are really cloudy
All I wanna do is smile at you

Make the music bounce
And the atmosphere loud
Laughter is what fills the perfect soul
spirit wants to shout everything is alright

Happiness makes my face
Light up and smile
Suddenly I'm at the cliff
And I'm making a free-fall for the ground
The air around me is full of joy and I breath it in!
Suddenly you think I'm nuts
Because there's a smile plastered on my face

Well life is full of little moments
Can't help but contemplate
They should be taken with a smile
And a little ease of mind
2010
Emanuel Martinez Dec 2010
Time, try and revenge me
Love, bereft me
Take control and break me

Money, try and trick me
Recognition, deceit me
Take control and addict me

I’ll be laughing
Even before you realize
You can’t take me

Anger, come try and fill me
Hatred, contend with me
Take control and blind me

Loneliness, try and consume me
Fear, run me down and corner me
Take control and weaken me

I’ll be laughing
Even before you realize
You can’t take me

Life, take care of me
Take a bite out of me
And destroy me

I'll be gone
Before you can shout glory
December 9, 2010
Emanuel Martinez Aug 2011
Lilies and wine.
You're drunk with love.
And night's all shine.

So you starve and you crave.
Just a little bit more of Cupid's touch.
Puffed smoke hearts surrounding the time.
Present once more the universe sparks in your soul.
Lousy noises melting into harmonies so fine.

Lilies and wine.
You're drunk with love.
And night's all shine.

Your heart's secreting the serum of life.
Love is filling the hourglass of your time.
Now the pearl has found its light.
No pressure but weightlessness abounds.

Lilies and wine.
You're drunk with love.
And night's all shine.

Hold on firecely, lose yourself in beautiful time.
Tears of love and joy heal your wounds.
Flowers all fine, one you are, floating on air.
Swept out of reason, but your heart is too fine.

Lilies and wine.
You're drunk with love.
And night's all shine.

Capture the flower in your arms.
And drink the serum like wine.
Love is uplifting, and bare, taking you swiftly.
August 1, 2011
Emanuel Martinez Dec 2012
Looking up to you
I was a tiny light
Choosing to show you
How bright I could shine

Every spark through the laughter
Every tear through the pain
I shared with you
Not knowing you could change me

Like two pebbles in a stream
We never meant to
But we flowed through together
Two friends arm in arm

Not afraid of where
Our paths would take us
Your love like a compass
Keeping me confident

And if we go through war
If my memory somehow fails
If we get lost, and you perish without me knowing
I'll be consoled knowing in my life
You have helped me grow

Looking up to you
I was a tiny light
Choosing to show you
How bright I could shine

You held me up, eye to eye
"Don't shy away from who you are"
In his eyes, I was who I was meant to be
Relying on my strength to be alright

Could you ever imagine
The ways our lives would change
How large were the ripples you made
Encouraging someone like me to be bold

Looking up to you
I was a tiny light
Choosing to show you
How bright I could shine
December 15, 2012
Emanuel Martinez Aug 2011
A lost love incapable of being found
****** into air, rain is washing it away

Chained to a world of final fantasy
Reality is mad trying to liberate it

To dispel love of this world
Sourcing all the happiness
From a vessel that is destined to be full

Life is scaring it away
Every time only capturing an essence
But losing its lasting presence

Errors constructed by fears of emotions
One which will take you
To the depths of the ocean
Where love has shed its skin
And taken on a new beginning

Falling down fast to the surface of the heart
Love is searching through the darkness

The bottom of the ocean tries
To will its pressure to shatter its quest

But love has friends
The journey never ends
August 8, 2011
In collaboration with Saul Grullon
www.endorsinglife.blogspot.com
Emanuel Martinez Feb 2013
Face                     of MADNESS        , gather your twisted strength
Stench like sadness? (Do)n't                             confuse, its greatness
Sway through the fractures and disjointedness
      Disembodied                      manifestati­on, useless phenomenon
S(cul)p(ture)s hammered into DisFuRme/nt
Castrate salient pieces                     of that body
      Spew inhuman lexicon insinuating         i-n/co\here/nce
Slaughter the (harm)ony                   within cadence
Screech!         H     o      w      l!          Growl!
Rel(easing) murderous miseries within infected entr[ails]
      R A G E, count{less} bullets                              turning fl{ashes} of sanity to CAD(AVE)R(S)
De[generate] ripping throat of conscio(us)ness
February 24, 2013
Emanuel Martinez Feb 2013
To have learned a lot about identity, and self-negation, and alternative identities, and what it means to be an indigene, and Afro-adjacent and the concept of eurocentrism, and ideals of appearance and how they are appropriated by deliberate power structures who seek to marginalize and condemn to maintain circles of dominance…To know that we don't live outside of those circles.

It’s understandable that you've waivered over who you thought was attractive or not...naturally you are not outside of those circles of influence...and some days they put a gloss over you and might for a while convince you that we are oscillating farther and farther from the false ideals of appearance.

They put you on a spell that tells you whose beautiful, that our brown skin is not brown gold, that our eyes are not black emeralds, that our bodies’ hair must be removed, because the only hair that should be allowed to be left on a body is blond hair, because the world has taught you to think that our hair, our black hair is an alternative, an intruder.

It is an impeding and ever-growing pain to become a conscious man…one that is learning about the injustices in which he has ignorantly been a victim of all of his life.

To have thought once that I was not attractive because I was not attractive, and that I was not sexually desirable because I was not sexually desirable…

To think that the universe had devised it to be this way as if there was no conniving vice guiding these concepts of normality and abnormality…the standards of beauty and ugliness…

To come to the painstaking realization of being robbed of the truth…of the manipulating lies and biased standards of appearance that had been constructed so far back before our birth.

To realize that we are beautiful but that this fact would be one that would be negated.

A reparation that would be contested and denied, giving over the claim to legitimacy to those who judge this trial because they too have been veiled by the lie.

Recognizing that the identity as a brown, indigene, homosexual man with brown eyes and black hair (with remnants of a French grandfather who people can refuse to believe and because of that he does not care to acknowledge that part of his heritage. Realizing that that identity is dangerous to be acknowledged as being beautiful.

…Because if those that control the power structures that dictate the normality of appearance declared that that was beautiful you and everyone else in the world would never ever doubt that attractiveness.

But again that's dangerous even revolutionary because it would supplant the beauty and more importantly the power that white people (and those that aim to oscillate closer and closer to the Eurocentric ideal) gather from maintaining that dominance.

Shouldn’t we have a right to be angry and jaded? After being burdened with the truth and consciousness...we should have a right to be. It is a burden to be conscious and we should very much want reparations...The more the injustice being construed against us becomes clearer and clearer the more we must hold contempt against euro-centrism and disarm any semblance within the pride of European descent to superiority.

It’s unnerving to realize the slight that is being used on us to beat us down. These conniving power structures have managed to get under our skin and as if through remote operation have unleashed on us...ourselves.

It’s the best weapon of destruction...of control and disillusionment. Because they don't wish to destroy us, at least not until they've extracted our worth for their gain and consumption without our interruption.

We must not be unconsciously wielding individuals who think we are ugly, and who are paralyzed by a superficial analysis of what is the optimum of appearance, which we think we are not.

Abhor the inability that has been forced onto us, to declare we are beautiful.

That the weight of the lies, the farce, the systems of marginalization as they apply to appearance carry more legitimacy and authority, than our truth...the honest truth…

It’s asphyxiating to always face confrontations and juries who will indefinitely argue for the indictment of our ugliness.

To which deep fear and disbelief will be manifest in the paralysis of eloquence and ability to articulate an opposing argument.

The saddest thing would be that they have prevailed so well and penetrated our consciousness and conceptualizations within our minds, which has made it way easier for them to force us to see ourselves the way they see us.

Pick up like a hound those nuances among those that talk, and how euro-centrism has defiled their consciousness!

Insides can't help but churn and recoil with madness and try to say no don't do that! Stop the killing of the legitimization of your and my beauty!

Don't ever be apologetic. Just know that this is something that troubles us and is complex. Concede to the fact you won't ever have to suffer the injustice that us and other brown and black people have to try to subvert and alter as part of our journey toward the empowerment of all human beings.
February 10, 2013
Emanuel Martinez Dec 2012
***** water lilies
Fiery wondering thoughts
Precise eagle eyes

Ego, they guard

Mankind better run
Material eating; nature
Purifying souls

Change's gaining ground
Man you're going down
Always thinking weaponize

Raising minds' vice
Fast blind downfall

Self-inflection; death's allure

Trapped man
Life's insecure

Hunting own kind
Fools reigning mad
Blood drenched rule

Cycle mind around
Sense losing force
Just ****** man

No blink, grant death
Leave fellow man
Only one win

Mankind better run
Material eating, nature
Purifying souls

Change's gaining ground
Man you're going down
Always thinking weaponize

Human demise
You canonize
Only trivial

Mankind better run
Man you're going down

Child keep up
For you, we're waiting on
December 14, 2012
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