He lay, slumber, neck perched against the wooden desk covered in a sage silky cloth. Teeth rested against his bottom lips. Through the gap between his teeth is a low-pitched breathing, like a tea kettle finishing its brew in the rhythm of the rise and fall of his stomach. While his thick eyebrows resemble their origin contradicting to the bristly stubble on his head, parading his full cheeks that melt into his quivering chin. His thighs represent the one’s of his mothers with natural aging much to evident for such a young child. His stomach exhibited its roundness, open to the still air.

I'm a soft woman.

If you still read my poems, read this one

I’m going to lay it all on the line

The same way children do when speaking bluntly to strangers, and their mothers have to apologize on their behalf. Although I’m not apologizing.

I think I’m bisexual
I’d never tell you
I’m too afraid you'll never want me back
Like a malignant tumor that you want to make sure is
dead and gone and gone and gone again.

But,
when the sky’s drippy yoke rises over the horizon
You’re on my mind,

You are the equivalent to
A warm blanket pulled out of the dryer, wrapped around my cheeks.

One shot
Three shots, cheers
My head is spinning

Men-bloodshot eyes fester up my body
As if they try to climb into my skin, to live out the rest of their youth

I-saw a beautiful woman tonight
Mom I might be bisexual?
I-am maybe.

She was wearing black shorts and clogs.
Leather woven into itself
with wooden soles- companions

A boy
Loved my presence
Worth every minute

I wish he was between my thighs
My mother would disagree

A future with someone new maybe.

So young but
the world chewed you up
To see the depths of grey
A boy could bear
Layer after
Layer after
Layer after
After.

I have never been so sure of something  more
That I loved you
Upside down, inside out
Left to right
To never let you go a days unnoticed
Please don’t leave me behind

But I- pass you into new hands of youth
To bathe in your ponds of vitality
For the trees to feel the wind before you
To watch the swallows fetch feathers in the motion of draped garland

To learn to love this land as much as I have

My own, to yours

I laughed more tonight, than I have in awhile
Wholesome friends
And sweet,
Sweet laughter

I like making honey focaccia
That’s right honey and bread

Kissing the freckles on your nose
Between the rise and fall of the yeast

Subtly sweet taste with

Oil and balsamic
A match made in heaven

Like your lips against my skin

*****, Tito’s?
Whatever you have is fine
Ginger beer
Garnished with lime
Copper mug

Copper
Taste of blood
Rushing to your head
Sharpening with every word I speak
A splitting headache
You always claim to have, when your

You’re
Upset

I want to commit.
You are my only happiness.

How I
let you down
Left and gone
And all I can think about is those two sentences that should never be spoken subsequently and the unwanted control I was given.

Boy
Attachment is not love

I was choking under your grasp
Soaking me in guilt and past lives.

Plucking away my ultimate freedom.

Showering me with love. Until your words take me elsewhere.
*******.
I like being dominate

Let me go.

Olive trees, north of Boston
Mute green buds,
maturing into flowers
Blanketed in frost

            Dipping my toes into the beginnings of      
                                                          mother­hood.

One sole tree and sharp shadows
Fruit the color of deep plum
crystalized in ice

                                    Decisions in motherhood.

In loving memory,
The Hanging Gardens of Babylon,

                                          A Daughters Eulogy

Lying under the plum tree
Buds, ripening like dew in April air
You make plum trees blossom
In the dead of winter
Vigor and bronze.

Apricots on my nightstand
Sun invading my sage linen sheets
My naked body, bare
Hands, against my olive skin
Rest your head on my shoulder
My promenade collarbones
Evoke in my femininity.

Now, you leave me
Broken under the blazing sun,
Feverish eyes and dilated pupils
You are,
Pit of the plum.
Fetal.

The best things come out of the red.
Blue.
Like your eyes

I’m going to Florence Italy,
You tell me it takes a special kind of woman-

How was your life
I will spend most of mine,
In my shallow skin, and
depths of my mind.

Hating that I left

Hello again-

He probably knows her best.
Touching her skin, while stripping freedom from her bones.
Against every will.
Whiskey under his breath, with a different type of confidence now.

Lines become blurry, when women have to experience ****** assault,
Rather than learn what it looks like in a classroom,
before, unwanted exploration becomes an honor to be touched by you.

Light does not shine through, an education system, where women conflate **** and miscommunication.

Except.
Boys will be boys,

For all becomes stripped from liberty and justice,
Prove your crime,
Against a society who believes **** must be forced
Girls will be girls, becomes a movement to restore
Their American right, Justice.

Invisible,
Against every will,

Her stepfather.

Cinnamon tea and orange peels,
Aroma of citrus and spice fill the kitchen,
Deutsch cinnamon to be exact
Less delicate, deeper sweetness

Quills of cinnamon, steep into my teacup
A spike of apple moonshine,
Coating my throat with warmth

You would say
As kids, I remember my dad giving us whiskey when we were sick.

College,
Yesterdays, bottles of brandy
Today’s tomcat
Cinnamon tea, garnished with an orange peel
Soothing as honey,

I miss you.

Elderflower drinks
Subtle pear, with a hint of *****.

Soft footsteps,
Joints of the floorboards rub together, under
emerald, green rugs
Ornate.

Roasted garlic, caramelized
Bulbs, once pungent and sharp
A recipe for failed relationships.
Become mellow and buttery

Flowers as centerpieces
Tulips emblematic of spring
Rebirth

Licking the sugar off the rim,
As the ***** catches up to me,

I’m sorry I missed your Birthday.

He said, you are so beautiful
I never wanted to kiss someone more
Those words wrap around me like English ivy
Piercing through the cracks in my worth

Engrossed in the soft freckles on your nose
Kisses from angels
Protection from all else.

I don't want to fall in love again

Strut, with swollen feet
Walking on America Street

Sirens
Blue, Red
Red and Blue

Held at gunpoint
Please, don’t make any quick movements
Wince, I looked away.

Old friend
Why didn’t-
No why didn’t you stay
I thought you married her, her blond hair, and soft eyes
Why didn’t she stay

Red curly afro hair,
She is not your age

Why didn’t you give me the time of day?

Oh well,
Walking on America Street

Mothers
Talking to daughters

Jaded voices,
Become subdue.

Eyes gazing
Daughter-
Stiffed black corduroy dress

Threading interwoven
Fagoting stitch
A bridge between two edges.
Seam.

All I could think about was you.
Intertwined with you
Soul to soul.

Silent.

Irish temper
Get the hell out of my kitchen

Once abandoned baby
Coo.

Don’t come back-

Gone.
Gone?
Yes, gone.

Ginger hair becomes white
White, white

I hope my hair looks like yours,
when I’m older

Elderberry drinks

Soft footsteps
Emerald green rug
Ornate.

Roasted garlic caramelized
Subtle and buttery
Once pungent and sharp

Flowers as centerpieces
Tulips emblematic of spring
Rebirth

Yet. I’m stuck sipping
On this drink
Thinking of you

And the joints of the floorboards
Rubbing together

Blood and toil on dirt.
Dirt to gravel.

Land of the free.
I started dancing on marble.
And its sweet land of privilege.

My chest tightened
Knees sweltered on these marble stairs
Dirt in grain-
Sweat in pores
Broken under the blazed sun
Fetal.

I got high in poetry class today.

Break me down
Soak me
Until I drown
In the subtle aroma of cigarette smoke
Break me down
Until it feels like home

Dim and grey
Break me down

I cannot wait to
Love someone
In my own skin

She is lovely
like apricot juice-
sweet and ****

delicate
like ripe fruit

I see your eyes
wondering my body

don't take me lightly-

Take me like the heart break
I really was

Children playing on a hot summer’s day
Humid
And Ripe
Noise and laughter
Chaos!

Stillness
Children stop running.
Collapsing

Encapsulated
In the horrors of stillness
Able to see the cracks in the foundation
The raw truth

She’s raw
Unfiltered

Like the joint
She holds between her fingers

She looks at him
"Get my ******* out of your mouth"
I'm not your ******* mom

The world is growing inside me
A flower so pure and raw
Blooming
I am the sun-

The sky becomes grey
Withering, my flower becomes
Somber
I am the storm-

I forced the seasons to change

I am the sun
I am the storm

My body is pure
My mindset is corrupt
And together
Hand in hand
We become
Partners in Misery

When she walks in the room
She commands attention
not purposely
Naturally
So strong

So encapsulating
In her presence  

With
Beautiful blue eyes

Take a deep breath, my dear
It's not that serious-

It's only going to haunt you forever

After all this time I never knew

You are your biggest enemy
I remained silent-
Invulnerable

With no one to prey on
No one to mask your insecurities
You tore yourself down

And I remained silent

Ask yourself
Are you in love
Or are you just lonely-

Craving for someone to love you

Love becomes blurry
When your lonely

He asked
Why are you up so late

I said
Writing poems about you
My love

I'm so afraid I won't find anyone

how old are you-
so young
my dear-
relax

and delete tinder

Love is kind-
Don't let someone tamper
With those words

I'm so scared
I won't find someone to love me
That I'm forgetting to love myself

The more you search for love
The more you're not going to find it

You lost
The one person
Who handed you her heart

You will never find a love like me again

no matter how lonely i become

i hope you know
i am never coming back

there are so many bullet holes through the
heart on my sleeve

I am so tired
of fighting with
my own mind