little dark girl with
kind eyes
when it comes time to
use the knife
I won't flinch and
i won't blame
you,
as I drive along the shore alone
as the palms wave,
the ugly heavy palms,
as the living does not arrive
as the dead do not leave,
i won't blame you,
instead
i will remember the kisses
our lips raw with love
and how you gave me
everything you had
and how I
offered you what was left of
me,
and I will remember your small room
the feel of you
the light in the window
your records
your books
our morning coffee
our noons our nights
our bodies spilled together
sleeping
the tiny flowing currents
immediate and forever
your leg my leg
your arm my arm
your smile and the warmth
of you
who made me laugh
again.
little dark girl with kind eyes
you have no
knife. the knife is
mine and i won't use it
yet.

I whisper poison to myself in ways only poets can,
wondering why you never asked me for the antidote.
Sat in the middle of my warzone, decomposing symphonies
formed in your ears when my poetry held you tighter than I could.
It is better to recognise your blood stains for what they are.
I blame myself. I blame myself. I blame myself.

I blame myself, when you still arrive unannounced at my door
with ****** knees and elbows. Shirt sleeves and split jeans.
Again, I have another hole to make whole again.
To stitch up your stars into rearranged constellations
that match the traced freckles on your back,
that do not form to spell my name,
that aren't metaphors; but the truth.

Dean Eastmond.

Clear winter skies,
cold December nights,
smoking on the floor,
dimmed orange lights.

The rhythm of the street,
the blankets and the sheets,
the color your hair,
the way I wouldn't dare (to speak).

Darling do you carry
the universe in your veins?
You're so overwhelming,
and I am so deranged.

Watching you sleep,
Makes me feel rested
If I had my way,
Instead of you, I'd be tested
The tribulations you face,
That shouldn't be part of your fate at all,
They're mine as much as yours,
- As much as you are my all
Your eyes need sleep,
Your mind needs some calm,
Your body needs touch,
And I need to be your balm
When you laugh,
It's those moments that make my day,
When you are momentarily all right,
When moments are not grey
They say you can live your entire life in one moment,
And in moments you can know it all,
You are my moment of clarity,
You, standing there, standing right there tall

grey cold like
sparsed cotton

thickness
of blank walls

preclusion
exclusion

the era before
your smile

the glaciers
are forming

You held my hand,
You gave me hope,
You said I'll never be alone.

You called me yours,
I called you mine.
Throughout time,
It became a lie.

She popped up,
Like a jack-in-the-box.
She took your hand,
She showed you her ways,
You left me for her.
Today was the day

I cried,
My eyes turned red,
I no longer can cry,
I feel dead.

You said forever,
I said it too,
But baby,
You knew the truth.

I fell in love,
I gave it my all.
But in the end,
I was always alone.