A May Evening ...

I shall internalize to the point where i rise
Like a grey misty ash through sullen harbour skies
To descend on these eyes who never danced with ambition
Nor once sought to covet nor hold executive position
Sweeping through parochial house to office building
I consume this room as a deathly prison warden
Where time passes and falls in a desperate eerie sigh
Unable to cry in an endless stare of just getting by

I shall crawl through the past of these city streets
Retracing my footsteps as the years they recoil
The red terraced housing of old Hungry Hill
A young boy in his room sitting there still
Head full of dreams waiting for his moment to shine
Such foolish naivety of a dreamer in his prime
He would never tie his shoelaces anything but straight
Just getting by, the sole manifestation of a solemn fate

I shall leave as a mist to cover these countryside hills
As a wandering soul, a veil rolling down as early dew
Comes upon a house where children asleep in their beds
Let it be them that carry the dreams of lives better led
So that I may finally relent and lay myself down to rest
Not for deaths cold embrace but a warmer peace instead
In a world of all or nothing we have this life of you and I
Where it shall be enough to get by, by just getting by

If I could show you
              how it would be
                    if freedom were
                            in our palms
                   how it would feel to
                  be released,
                 a caged dove
       set into the cooling
swiftness of air
If I could dry your tears
and make you understand
that this will be
      more than ok
because happiness is right
around the corner
just a little faith
yes
just a little belief
in the mysterious ,
          unknown workings
The Universe has my back
and if it has mine,
I have yours
there is not one moment
that you will see
this back turned
or face hidden
my arms are meant
to enfold you
my calm to steady you
               Now    
                    it feels like            
                         being stuck
                                   in a wheel
                        round and round
                options limited
but once the break is made
I will be drifting up
my heart that dove
for I cannot let her die
(if I die a part of you dies, too)
and once you see me
spin her off into the light
the grace of heaven
allowing me to keep
my own ignition burning
you know you will have me
until the depths of sky
and into the wilds
of our
   tender
forever

Did you see them take the green fields
one by one, now line by line on hills in echelon?

Still, holding ground held holy by their sons;
no longer marching to the smoke and drum.

Where bugler called the day to final rest,
now silence grows like lichen on the stones.

For those who gave their all at our behest,
our memories alone will not atone.

Do you see the fires burning at a distance,
and more hallowed ground broken day by day?

Each new stone laid a fading reminiscence;
each new boquet soon fading into gray.

What better way to honor sacrifice
than to pause and speak their names aloud.

Until the gods of war are pacified;
until our flag no longer serves as shroud.

Dora! People with big noses are beautiful!
Anyway, Dora of the Noble Nose
as a single rose
as a solitary diamond
so brilliantly in love with Gilbert!
Married
and years later...

She kept the paper folded
in her jewelry drawer...
the paper from the hospital
that said...
she was pregnant!
With you!
in her jewelry drawer!
Joan, My friend
It was you
she kept as folded treasure
till her death at 82

I read your Kaddish, Dora
I watch the shovels fly
as stones collect like children of the prayers
upon your grave

Thank God, Joanie!
You have no heir

At grief’s end
there’s no one left...
to die of love’s enfolding
leaving everything
to...
Joanie Treasure!
Joanie Only!


To my friend, her mother, and father