Confession time,
Where's my priest?
When I was little I had it all planned out.
"In the name of the father and of the son and of the holy spirit, Amen.
It has been six months since my last confession and these are my sins."
I fought with my family.
I swore.
And I lied.
That is what I said for seven years.
I loved to throw a wrench in the machine.
When I was fourteen I added in a little tid bit to my routine.
"I am gay".
It was the longest pause I had ever heard.
And then it went completely ignored.
How rude of me to try and provoke you, father.

Heartbeat*
Excitement
Sorrow*
Flat Line
_____

Another night curled up in a ball,
Feeling broken, unfixable,
Thinking of ways to stop it all,
Behind a forced smile to stop the tears fall.

Feeling guilty and so ashamed,
I only have myself to blame,
But everyone else is the same,
Turn a blind eye and ignore my name.

A doctor's appointment is so last year,
Barely there to tame the fear,
Pushed those away who were always near,
Just so I know where I am going from here.