From across the grungy school cafeteria my gaze met yours. Repeatedly. And each time, an uncontrollable grin couldn't be hid and I couldn't help but think that you must feel this too. During my speech my eyes tried to avoid yours for the sake keeping my breath, but during your own I couldn't help but stare.  At dinner, did your hand intentionally come together with mine so many times over the chips, or was your mind lost on the thought of our fingers being intertwined? I look at you and can't help but wonder... what do you feel when you look at me?

four years ago I had never stood in the ocean, but you expected me to act as if I had seen the world and been influenced by the difference in scenery and culture. you saw me as small because I was just that. my whole world was a town with less than 15,000 people and I was small even there. but I've traveled and I've seen the world now. I've seen culture and lifestyles opposite of my own and I've grown because of that. but you still choose see me as the small child who's never seen the ocean.

I always miss people.

I miss the first boy I ever had a crush on:
The butterflies in my stomach as he walked down elementary school halls toward me.  

I miss feeling alive.

I miss my childhood bestfriend;
the one who stabbed me in the back. I miss sneaking into the kitchen for a midnight snack and laughing with the floors creeking under our feet.

I miss the innocence.

I miss my high school friends.
The ones who said they'd never leave, "best friends forever". I miss the realness and the togetherness of them.

I miss the simplicity

But most of all I miss having a favorite song, a go-to dance move, and being able to sing carelessly in my pajamas.

*I miss me.

Her lonley heart was so tired of being broken so she shed tears to fill the cracks and slowly she began to rebuild her temple.

I just want you to be proud of me