I wished for you,
Many times.

I searched for you,
Always.

You breathe in oxygen and exhale sighs,
That are sweet like honey.
Your back arches like a crescent moon,
And darling,
You remind me of the stars.

Our
Hellos
And
Good byes
And
I love yous
Have been
Mapped out in the stars that
Dangle above our
Sleeping heads

The trees are sighing;
They are exhausted.
The wind chimes laugh and
The birds chirp.
But the trees are sighing because
They are exhausted.

I want to like someone so much,

That I could draw them from memory.

I want to adore someone so much,
I want to love someone so much,

*That I could pinpoint their profile in the stars.

I still find traces of you;
In my popcorn ceiling I see the outline of your torso,
Hollow.
You echoed when you would say my name
The lining of your lungs were padded with sticky notes,
Reminders of doctors appointments and birthday parties.
You would forget the simple things,
Not because you wanted to make room for the important ones
Like storing old photos in boxes,
Tucking them away on shelves to collect dust,
But because to you, simplicity wasn't worth a photo album.
The corners were tucked and folded,
Bent into paper swans.
And then thrown away in trash cans,
Recycled,
Into something more complex,
Like black matter and fairy dust.
I still find traces of you;
On doorknobs and coffee mugs,
And hollow things.

My feelings contradict the words that spill from my mouth
Like melted daggers falling like stars, shining..
And my actions contradict themselves, fists white knuckled and raw, an outstretched palm reaching towards your body
Begging to stay
Asking to leave
Demanding
Sew my mouth shut and
Tie my limbs down
Just rest your head against my chest so you can
Listen to the erratic heartbeat that plucks harp strings and horsehair