Let me trade in my smile for fangs
And my feminine fingers for paws.

Let me trade in my manicured nails for claws
And my curly locks for silver fur.

Let me trade my heart shaped mouth for a long snout
And the freckles on my nose for whiskers.

Let me trade my curves for a round, bushy tail
And my clumsiness for strength and agility.

Let me trade my tears for whimpers and barks
And my voice for howls in the night.

Let me trade my dinner reservations for hunting down a moose
And my poor senses for keen ears and a nose.

Let me trade my soul for a different one
And become a friend to the moon.

Let me live my life as a wolf
And all that it encompasses.

Let me symbolize the dawn and the dusk
And let me symbolize the converging of light and darkness.

Because that is wolf,
And that is what I see, when I look in the mirror.

I have been trained so well
that my blank stare is near perfection.
Practice makes perfect.
Sense the enemy and avoid direct eye contact.
Locate your chosen line of sight;
a poster on a wall, your own shoelaces.
Follow through.
I see with my eyes that we are both skilled
at not seeing the other.
It has been drilled into my bones.
Look away. There is nothing to see here.
Not anymore.

You'll ask? how long will I wonder
Edging further into night
There is one simple answer
I fear the the light

I wonder if people notice things like,
"That girl's nail polish is dark"-
Dark having many different connotations-
Because I sure do notice.

I wonder if people notice things like:
-The way somebody walks
-How they hold a pen to a piece of paper
-The way their hair curls around their ears
-How they move their lips to speak
-What they wear and why they wear it
Because there has to be a reason
There has to be a reason for everything

I wonder if people study me the way I study them.

I can assure you,
Everything I do
Say
Think
Feel
Wear
Represent
I do it for a reason
I do it for a statement
Even though I'm not sure what kind of statement it is just yet.

Keep watching to find out.
Stay tuned.

When we first began dating, I was using you to get over someone else.
I never told you because you would have gotten upset, you lovely hypocrite.
I even kissed someone else while we were still dating, and it has disgusted me ever since.
I never told you because you would have never spoken to me again.
Before your growth spurt, I lied when we both agreed that you were definitely taller.
I never told you at the time that I was 5'3" and you were 5'2".
I never told you I always looked for the triangle of dots on your neck. Every ******* time.
I did not like your best friend.
I never told you he reminded me of a sociopath, because he was one of the biggest influences in your life.
And all of your favorite songs at the time.
I never told you I went home and put all of them on my iPod, just so I could impress you with how well I knew the words.
When I started crying after our first time having ***, I wanted you to just forget it, I was fine.
I never told you I was crying because I had realized I loved you, and it made me feel free.
I never told you this, because I'm not sure you would understand what I mean when I say 'free.'
One time, we were in bed and you were looking so **** peaceful with your eyes closed, and I took a picture.
I never told you.
I never told you I was actually awake when you thought I wasn't, when you whispered into the phone, when you whispered you wanted to marry me someday.
I never told you I once had a dream about what our kid would look like.
I never told you about the night I counted all the tears that leaked out of me because of you. Twenty seven.
No, I was definitely not okay with him watching, but I never told you that.
I never told you that I was scared to speak up because I was terrified of losing you.
I never told you to grow up.
I never told you what I found out.
I threw my necklace you gave me into the lake, and I never told you.
I never told you how easy it was to fit into your warmth.
And how easy it was to fall out.
I never told you that I still think about you at the worst times.
I guess I never told you a lot of things.

Light... Pretty Light... Shredding Light...
Turn 'em off... Extinguish... Carry on with your fright...
Light... Slutty Light... Flooding Light...
Banish them... Blow 'em up... Make them vanish from my sight...
Light... Steady Light... Twinkling Light...
You hurt me... Torture me...Take out the black from the White...
Light... Arresting Light... Puzzling Light...
Let me rest... Go to sleep... Let me perform my last rite...
Light... Deceitful Light... Treacherous Light...
Don't stop me... Let me go... Let me fly my own kite...
Light... Blinding Light... Yarning Light...
Leave me alone... Don't come back... If you're done with your bite.
Light... Lovely Light... Stunning Light...
Be honest... Are you pure?... Aren't you from a sinister satellite?
Light... ****** Light... Violent Light...
Embrace me... And my friends... Only if I am not right.
Light... Dear Light... Beloved Light...
Take me along... Let me summon... The darkness that you have to fight.
I know him... He's been my friend... For many a sleepless night.
Avast! Don't sit down... Hold your sword ...  Don't hold your breath too tight.
Light... Brave Light... Obstinate Light...
God's blessed you... With the fastest horse... But yours is not the only Knight!

to grow out my health
to grow out my self esteem
to grow out my sense of adventure
to grow out my happiness
to grow out my honesty
to grow out my bravery
to grow out my laughter
to grow out my openness
to grow out my vulnerability
to grow out my forgiveness
to grow out my potential
to grow out my inner mermaid
to grow out my trust
to grow out my creativity
to grow out my perseverance
to grow out my patience
to grow out my motivation
to grow out my willingness
to grow out my beliefs
to grow out my soul
to grow out my desire
to grow.