Dona Biju

Mar 2016

Sophie Wang

i. ablaze
no canvas can hold your portrait
all fine lines and smudges,
like this crumpled paper heart can.

no acid earth blooms sickly flowers
so vivid and surreal,
like your lips formed falsities
hollow insignificances, haloed in sickening silence

no song croons heartbreak
quite as heart-wrenching as
these words you leave unspoken.

and nothing lights up this darkness quite like
the dazzling glow of how
i burned up for you:

ii. fluorescent
at night these empty streets whisper
rumors of embers stirring, rekindling
the remnants of a great fire.

out of ashes i rise, singed and searing to touch.
lights and cigarettes line the paths forward
and backward; i wander them aimlessly.

nothing lights up this darkness
quite like the glow of how
hundreds of streetlights burn for me.

iii. ceasefire
nothing lights up the darkness
quite like the glow of how
i illuminate from the inside out again

no longer an all-consuming blaze—wild and destructive,
or a fluorescent light—the artificial brilliance a borrowed comfort
i cannot call my own;

i uncover my heart to find light again,
not an uncontrollable fire, or the reflection of a stolen light,
but the halcyon glow of a ceasefire.

iv. light up the darkness**
and nothing, nobody can light up my darkness
or line my street sides
quite like i can.

Mar 2016

0o

A letter to my sister’s old nose

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about your old nose,
The one you cut apart and remolded,
So you could feel beautiful.

There used to be that little bump along the bridge,
The tip wiggled slightly when you laughed,
Now it just sits there.

Today your daughter has your old wiggly nose,
And she looks just like you,
Used to.

I hope that she appreciates it more than you did,
And I hope it reminds her every day,
That she’s beautiful

#life #hope #beauty #thoughts #family

Mar 2016

Unnoticed Notes

DAY AFTER DAY

Blank faces
Crowded minds
Tired hearts
Unwanted thoughts
Meaningless words
Warm smiles only meant for the publics sake
Avoided issues
More give and take
All the while looking for someone to lose myself in and trying to find who I use to be.

#thoughts #everyday #waiting

Mar 2016

Q

Haze

There's no one who will hurt me in this parking lot
The world is a rushing vertigo of color and sound
I can't quite seem to grasp the anxiety that's so familiar to me
Or even stand up without the distinct feeling of falling down.

Music sends a vibrato tingle through the left hemisphere of my brain
Smells light up the right like a Las Vegas light show
Taste is unnoticed, I'm ravenous, the food is gone before I realize it
Behind my too-heavy eyes is an impossibly beautiful glow.

In this moment I know the world like I know my own mind
I feel my skull expanding, stretching out my consciousness
I can feel the rush of eternity caressing my skin lovingly
I feel my chest depressing, suffocating, and ushering me to death.

Someone is talking; I can't understand the words, can't remember
Nothing matters, right here, right now; everyone rushes too fast
The timbres shiver and crawl up my spine and the meaning is lost
Busybodies, busy lives, busy people, I can't keep track, too relaxed.

I am floating just above the horizon; lonely and satisfied
I am blood-warm and deathly cold, both immortal and finite
My tongue ties and twists itself before I can invite anyone to fly
And rests uselessly under my feet as I sink and soar into the sun's light.