I turned out to be
Exactly what parents
Told their children to stay away from

I turned out to be
The exact opposite
Of what kids are told to be

I turned out to be
A failure and a let down
Wrapped all in one

I turned out to be
A ****** person
And I’m sorry for that

If you’re cold, I’ll keep you warm
I’ll give your heart a home
I’ll take your hands in mine
And shield you in my arms

Darling, how did you get those scars
Did she hurt you?
Did she break you?

Come here, I can heal your wounds
Those scars will stay
But the pain will not

Why are you crying?
I’ll dry your tears
Those fears you have
Will be forgot

Lay down, love
And close your eyes
Rest your heart
I’ll keep you close

Sweet words
Painted on lips
Not left unsaid
To help you sleep

I’ll treasure you
And keep you safe
I promise I’ll stay
For as long as you want

Your hands still have the right lines
And our hearts still beat the same
So why are we not together
Why are you so far away?

You left me with a letter
Saying that it’s too hard
But you never told me what
And I can’t read minds

You broke a jar
In our last fight
It’s still there
I can’t pick it up

The rooms in our house
My house
Are cold and empty
And grey

Do you remember that time
We went to King Park?
I still walk on that path
But the memories won’t come back

Sometimes I feel
Like the next time I trip
I won’t be able
To get back up again

I have such small hands
That couldn’t hold on to you
Not even the rain
Could wash this away

I still don’t understand
You left without explanation
No reason to break me
Just that **** letter

I am made of flaws
And bad decisions
Stitched together with recklessness
In such a way
That makes self destruction
Inevitable

I stitched my heart
Onto your sleeve
But you let my world crumbled
Around your fingertips

You whispered promises
You couldn’t keep
In my ear
In my sleep
But these dreams you sold to me
Have turned into nightmares and defeat

You left my life
Crumbling ‘round my feet
My anxiety rose
I spiraled out of control
I fell down this darkened hole
And so self destruction began

Have you ever choked on the smoke
That numbs your chest
And clouds your mind?
The bottle went up
And the fear went down
I stumbled back and forth
Between pain and numbness

I think I saw you in a dream
And I thought I heard the door open
But the door was just closing
And the dream was a drunken haze
I close my eyes
And I see yours
Staring back at me

I still remember the way
Your fingertips traced my skin
Your cool skin
Pressed against mine
I offered you my warmth
And you took it all away

I look at myself
And I understand
Why you left
****, I’m such a mess
But you made me like this

I’m not sad anymore
And the numbness has gone away
My emotion has turned a page
Now all I feel is rage

I won’t waste my unscarred knuckles
I have hands
So I can break things
I yell
Until my lungs seem empty
But the room is filled

I’m angry
But I don’t know at who
You
Or me

I’ve slipped back into numbness
I think I like this best
The nagging pain
Is easily taken away
With a stoge and a shot
I think I like this best

Did you know
That the sun still rises
Even though you’re not here?
The stars still shine
The moon waxes and wanes
Did you know?
Because I didn’t

I woke up
And your pillow didn’t smell like you anymore
All the pictures of us
Were broken
All the traces of you
Were gone

In biology
We learned that cells get replaced
Every 6.5 years
That means one day
I will have a body
That you have never touched

I put away the whiskey
I stopped buying stoges
And I picked up the pieces
Most of them, at least

I'd like to say
That you left
But truth be told
You were never here

It’s 3am
I’m wide awake
And it still hurts

I've written of you
So many times
You've become immortal
In between these lines