Diana

Diana Mar 2014

Untitled

I think I left my heart
In the pocket of the jeans
I threw to wash
My emotions
Are in the center console
Of my truck
I left my love
On top of your dresser drawer
Along with my pack of stoges
And all the *****
I've ever given
I threw into the ocean
To finally be washed away

Diana Mar 2014

Same Old War

I swear I’m fighting
The same old war
One I had already fought before
It’s the same **** flame
That tries to burn me out
A river that flows
Only to drown me
My demons just keep on
Dragging me back
Deeper and deeper
Into this hole
I've dug myself out
Once, twice
More times than I can count
Yet here I am
Still being drug down
Down
down….

Diana Mar 2014

15-18

For the past fifteen years
I've had parents
Limiting and monitoring
What I do, what I wear, how I feel
I've had a brother
Who refuses to be seen with me
Until I look and act a certain way
I've gone to a school
Where if you're not exactly
Like everybody else
You're not worth the time
For fifteen years
I've had people tell me
Who I am
Who I should be
And how to live my life
For fifteen years
I've been alive
But not truly living
This is why I can't wait
Until I turn eighteen
Because the day I turn eighteen
Is the day my life begins

Diana Mar 2014

To my classmate with scars on his wrist

I don't really know you
But I know that smile
I know it's not wholehearted
And I know that you're faking it
I know you're struggling
I know life is hard right now
I know you feel like nothing will get better
And I know you feel hopeless, lost
But I know other stuff, too
I know how happy you make people
I know how amazing you are
I know that your life is just at the start
And I know how great it will be
I don't know a lot of things
But I know that you can't give up
So please
Please don't give up

Diana Mar 2014

Me

Ugly girl
Too many scars
Crooked teeth
Frizzy hair
Too fat
Too short
Big nose
Wonky face

Worthless
So **** worthless

Go away
Go die
Go **** yourself
Now

No one loves you
No one likes you
No one cares

Just **** yourself
End your pain
It's for the best

It's been a bad day

Diana Mar 2014

Untitled

You know
I told myself
That for the remainder of high school
I would not date
I would not get crushes
I would not let myself get ****** in
To the drama that is
Teen romance
Then you waltz in
With your baseball jersey
Goofy ways
And lopsided smile
Poking me
And tickling my sides
Chasing me down the hallways
Yelling loudly
And obnoxiously
And funnily
Making me rethink
Everything

Diana Mar 2014

I Remember

I remember the first time I said hello
You nodded with a smile

I remember when I first said I liked you
You smiled and hugged me

I remember when I told you all my secrets
You held me as I cried

I remember the first time I said I loved you
You picked me up and kissed me

I remember the last time I said I loved you
You didn't say a word