I don't know what to do
As I sit here and think
Sitting and thinking about you
I feel...forgotten. Lost.

I don't know what to do
I'm hurt and confused
I'm getting mixed messages
Is it me, or you?

I don't know what to do
I know I still love you
But the question remains
Do you still love me too?

I don't know what to do
We agreed to start over
But I don't want that
It kills me, as a matter of fact

I don't know what to do
I now know how he felt
To be dropped so quick
I want to die...I feel sick...

You could break my heart into
Tiny
Little
Pieces,
And I'd still pick them up
And put them back in your hands.

10 more days until
my chest is filled with clouds
and my feet are heavy with
the weight of 7 years

240 hours until
the shouting of my friends feels
unnecessary and wrong
how can you joke on a day like this?

14400 minutes until
i bury myself in my room
***** clothes piling into the hall
used tissues overflowing my trashcan
tear tracks staining my cheeks

864000 seconds until
i look to the sky
and hope
but never receive

someone said your name the other day
while i was passing her in the hallway and
a shiver ran down my spine and
down through the very tips of my toes
and the possibilities and potentialities rush
through my head as i imagine
movie marathons, with our toes touching under a blanket and
snowball fights even though we live nowhere near the snow

i clomped down the school stairs
laughing over a vine with my friend
and we passed two boys crying
and teachers embracing them
and something chilled in my soul

i entered the classroom
dead silence
an empty seat
a rush of tears

blurs and abstractions
i can't tell the difference
between what is real
and what is a nightmare

its kinda funny
how i can create trees
of someone
and he can create flowers
of me
but our wires don't cross
and plants suffocate
nothing happens

it creeps over me
and i always know when it's coming
you could say i invite it in
playing its favorite music
luring it with sleeping leisure
until there's no time left
and it grins up at me
and bites

she asked me how i felt
about parallel universes

i didn't know what they were

but she told me that
with all the hurt and confusion
we have now
there is another universe out there

where we are happy
and that's how she gets through the day