i guess it came out wrong.
i guess i didn't mean to say,
"I only live for my grades."
i mean, i live for the stars,
planets, consellations, and
the black holes.

i live for the universe surrounding me.
but, i guess i was also telling the truth.
the only things i care about are my grades.
i hyperventilate when i don't have the perfect grades.
i literally cry when things don't go my way.
i need the highest gpa possible.

it's my only chance to a future,
its my only hope.
its everything i dream about,
think about,
and live for.

so, i guess i was telling the truth when i
said i had nothing else to live for
except for my grades.

i guess i should've let you
take me to the couselor.
i think i need one.

With all hope I will be alive by tomorrow afternoon,  if not, well... tell the folks back home I am worth more than a bank statement and a birth certificate.

there once was a girl
who was an artist, but
here's the twist
a razor was her paintbrush
and the canvas was her
wrist.

"Ugly" "Fat" "Worthless"
they were written
word for word
nobody thought otherwise
after-all, that girl is so
happy, that'd be
absurd.

one night it was raining
and the thoughts became
to much
she reached for her
blades and blood
poured out with just
one touch.

the next morning her
parents found her,
it was an "accident"
they would say.
because after-all,
whould'a thought that
their happy daughter
wasn't okay?

She fought endlessly for
her life, but it
was all to much to
handle
little did she know that
she'd be one of many in
this suicide
scandal.

There are times in a young woman's life
Where she has to protect herself
Protect her heart and words
Because nothing ever lasts
Unless you know boundaries
When it comes to love
When it comes to trust
When it comes to honesty
When it comes to security

Girls grow up thinking
''Growing up sounds fun''
But then, as time goes on
We begin to miss being *young
Being free spirits in terms of youth
In terms of thinking and feeling
And the importance of confidence
As well as being free to have fun
As if life had just begun

Young girls are more confident
Well, in the childhood days
But as they grow and understand
The importance of beauty overshadows them
And as they go through puberty
They realize how much beauty
Is a major factor in happiness
When they become obsessed
With self-appearances
And body types
Make-up
Alcohol
Drugs
*****

when he said, "this is
my note, after all, thats
what people do, right?
leave a note?" my heart
completely caved
      >     in.    <

when my teacher said
that a lot of people
commit suicide due to
bullying or because they
feel unaccepted,
i raised my hand to
speak up about the
facts.


the true facts.

how more than half of the
homeless teenage population
are gay. they were kicked out
by their mums and dads.

how its not just the
bullying, how its
them too.

they feel so alone and
we always wonder why
there is a new name in
the paper saying,
"Suicide--Age --"
and yet because of
someone being p    u s h  e       d
to                                                      far

it made them take
their own life.

i wish i could stop
suicides,
i wish for once
i could be the one who
closed the door on
death.

but im no rolemodel,
i always let death
back in.

but that doesnt mean i
wont help you take
him out.

Dark lipstick on his neck
From where I made my mark
Kissing sessions, full of passion
His kisses are my greatest addiction

Holding hands, in the night
Cuddles as we light up
Our cigarettes