I've always been a little selfish,
a little spineless,
a little reckless.

I'll use anything as an excuse.
An excuse for the lack of -


                                      l  o  n  g  i  n  g.


God, I wish I could change things.

Ripping off- each bandaid,
salting every wound.

God, I wish there was another option.

I am closing all the doors.
I am pouring gasoline.

God, I am so sorry.

I've always been -
a little mindless.
Always shown -
a little too much kindness.

I've just never felt so flightless,
I don't really feel like -
I should fight this.

˚　　˚　.　.　　✦　　　.　　. 　 ˚　.　　　　　 . ✦　　　 　˚　　　　　
.　　. 　 ˚　.　. 　 ˚　.　　 . ✦


Exaggerating just to feel something.
Anything, anything -
everything.

I don't want to be just another crack in your ceiling - another unresolved feeling.
Let's just stay a little bit longer -

The smoke. The water. The light.
I'm slipping through every little bit of you.

Can I be your everything, everything,
anything?



˚　　˚　.　.　　✦　　　.　　. 　 ˚　.　　　　　 . ✦　　　 　˚　　　　　
.　　. 　 ˚　.　. 　 ˚　.　　 . ✦

I’d be stupid to say it’s all in my head.
There’s so much we’ll leave unsaid.

The thing is it’s not always like that.
Okay well. Maybe a little.
But that’s not the point.
It’s always been like that right from the start.  

I’ll show you mine,
If you show me yours,

I’m not even going to try to pretend.
It’s all in my head.

Your lips were like honey dripping down my thighs.
A rose petal touch all down my spine.
But i never was a fan of honey —
and roses have thorns sharper than words.

i wish i could create something that would make you proud
anything good enough

but i know nothing could ever be good enough for you

i learned it from you first
i will never be good enough
not for anyone
and never myself

i’m probably self-sabotaging [again]
after all it’s not like i’m capable of trust anymore.
i’m practically always looking for something,
anything, to prove me right.

what if i am actually right?
what then?

do i just keep letting myself
                                                   fall
                                                   straight
                                                   down?

even if the crash will b r ea k my bones?
i already know it’s what i’d do.

crack. splinter. shatter.
grind me to dust.



does it really even matter?