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Bella Isaacs Jan 2023
Frozen joints in a Georgian garret
Grudgingly stirring the fifth peasant soup
Shuffling shiftingly to share it
As lower eyelids, sleepless, hang and droop.
A right for some, a job in lands abroad
The luxury of learning dearly bought
And dearly payed for, still stalwartly moored
And chained with a ball, for living, sought.
I payed for a train to take me back
To the passion that will make a slave of me
But the company never had my back:
For two more score they would yet have of me.
What country fit for heroes is this?
What cradle for young hearts and minds make we?
And cushioned by the green stuff, dismiss
My wish that you may go where you take me.
Bella Isaacs Oct 2022
My hands were stained with beetroot
My hands were sour with lemon
My hands were salt from cabbage
As I cried in your defence
"He would have kissed me on the steps
If I'd looked up, if I were not such a fool
The cue was there, you know
When he asked about my necklace."
I always wondered, so now
Where's this bold solution from?
And she said, were you a man
I wouldn't have to look.
Bella Isaacs Oct 2022
I wish you understood how cool I can be
When I'm not hiding my eyes from what I perceive
To be the sun shining from yours
I wish you could see the nonchalant posts
I write when I'm hoping you're there with the ghosts
It's me who is the one so out of doors
Because I'm now tapping at the windows
Like the Dickensian kid I'm not
And that is how my sin flows
From wounds that cannot clot
Stem, stem, but I'm a social scientist
And not enough to be of interest
Of keeping myself to myself:
I need you to look up to my shelf.

I wish you understood how wanted I am
When I am chasing after the success-bound tram
Not the tail of your shooting star
I wish you could see how I'm queen of the sidewalk
The subject of everyone's gaze and idle talk
When my eyes aren't burning the West, so far
Because I'm now singing on street corners
Like the desperate artist I'm not
I wish my luck was like Jack Horner's
Would the Plum Land please be my lot?
Wait, wait, but I know I'm not life's patient
And too much to match your gradient
To be keeping myself to myself:
I need you to look up to my shelf.

I'm not falling off, but I could
I could call it off, but I would
Rather win please, even though
I concede I am losing,
And it's highly confusing
The way I go on with the show.

'Cos I'm now writing stupid letters
Like the complaining tenant I'm not
Counting you... the highest of my betters
And believe me there aren't a lot
Stop, stop, but maybe I'll write something good
And sufficient to get a Laureatehood
'Cos I'm not keeping myself to myself:
I need you to look up to my shelf.
Bella Isaacs Oct 2022
These days in budgeted decadence
You twist on your thrifted finery
And leave me to mine own
You are children marching the cobblestones
Like soldiers into lines that you know very
Little of, together and alone
Collective and individual struggles fought
Black coffee for the morning
Ethanol for some inky hour after twelve
None of your souls have been bought
Yet, and I hope they won't in the true dawning
From the cutting of the safety net, may you delve
Into futures sufficient and abundant,
All ye heirs apparent.
Bella Isaacs Oct 2022
Why should I seek to redeem myself through
Redeeming you?
I'm arrogant enough to know that it's true
And believe me you, please
That teaching the plainly obvious
To the incorrigible ignoramus
Is a labour for Hercules.

And I deserve champagne for my effort
And a smack in the face by reality for desert
The more fool me
The poor fool me
For thinking that my contraption to make fish climb would actually
Work, and it's thankless, you know you should offer
The scribblings you make to the dead lover's altar
Do you think you could live this long
Beating your heart out, crucified and strung,
For the irredeemable,
And polyphemable,
People you thought weren't wrong?

But revenge is no answer, I'm too bold
To make cold
The lie once again that keeps being told
And believe me you, please
That fabled coldness or sweetness
And that cannot-be-beat-ness
Comes along with yet more guarantees.

And I'm a decorated casualty
For my all-too-late good memory that mortality
Is too for me
Not new for me
The cause-and-far-reaching-effect has no good reason to set me free
From the darkness, you know you should offer
The vows that you make on the dead duellist's altar
Did you think you could live this long
Beating your brains out, sanguified and hung,
For the irredeemable,
And polyphemable,
People you thought weren't wrong?

You have a greater capacity to no give no d*mns to this
You have a greater rapacity than to make dams for this
Injustice.

From where I sit, I know I should offer
My wisdom and fears into the dead ******'s coffer
Did you think you could live this long
Beating your soul out, petrified and wrung,
For the irredeemable,
And polyphemable,
People you thought weren't wrong?
A reflection and reasoning written in an emo style on unrequited regard, letting how other people treat you or think of you determine your self-worth, and why trying to prove yourself and revenge are not options.
Bella Isaacs Sep 2022
It is literally only the cold now that bothers me:
I can hug my knees, feel warmth of the bowl of curry
That I warmed up for me and my girls. You fall in love
And I fall behind, I fall back. Move on and move
In and marry, sweet and twenty as you are, sweet and loving
As you are, who don't listen to Infinity on High shoving
The irony into the backseat, gazing at the lyrics' memories
Like a postcard collection on a corkboard. Ryan Ross could have cursed at me,
And I could have cursed like Kellin Quinn, but these are dead times now
To beat down with a combat boot in moving, as I row
With my personal indifference to the candles and the wedding bouquets,
To the political matches passing me by, the parties of croquet
That I decline to program, combat boots ever on the road,
On the road to being Her, a still concept without a goad
Towards what the fairytales say I should be - I'm a pop punk song:
I take no prisoners: Your definition's wrong.
Bella Isaacs Aug 2022
What, when my intellect was too much,
And brash beauty too little?
And I seemed cool to all touch,
Made of paper and spittle
Like the wasp's nest that I am
And admit it now, I do,
And goodness how I own it too,
"They do not like green eggs and ham."
You've got the wrong end of the tale:
I'm caviar, champagne, and bread,
But I, alas, am not for sale,
And I give love freely from my head.
What, when my name is written in the stars,
Will you remember how you said I had it all
And still was not enough? Could you curse scars
That never felt a wound, and fall
From a tree you never climbed? You fool,
You wise fool, for your ignorant wisdom,
And your Fortune's shroud is still my chrysom,
Yet for my rising are you still the ghoul,
And ever will be. And still, live unhurt,
For how could you know disappointment
From one who you never gave appointment
And opportunity to commit such a curt
And curious crime? As how could you know,
Inert as you are, the blessings that could rain
On you, who are so averse to pain,
That you wouldn't risk letting Eden go?
How can you laud or regret,
That which you did never get?
Past loves, past opportunities, you evidently knew something in your ignorance.
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