Your asking me to leave you alone
But that is an impossible request
Because you are the life and soul
I lost long ago
And became this monstrosity of a man

You must not know
Asking me not to want you
Is like telling me not to breath
As I'm strangled underwater
Not to gasp for air
as soon as i get free
There is nothing that could resist
And urge such as this
And that's what's it's like when you say
"leave me be"

This isn't a want
This a need
Just like in order live
I need to feed
And I need blood
And I'm sorry for this
But I thirst for your love
with a vampire's lust

The difference
between family and friends
and its not defined by blood
but by a response
when you make a mistake
and throw them in the mud
family will just say (ily)
friends won't say anything
cause there is where it (ends)

I sit here and look at your pictures
Sometimes they make me wanna cry
Because you're so beautiful
In every photo
You're the prettiest one
Seems like you're having fun
But still i cry
As I look through these picutres
Im not in a single one

Good things come to those that wait
something said by those who believe in fate
I've done my fair share of waiting
a better word is wasting
nice way of saying procrastination
an excuse made out of fear and desperation
lack of confidence and courage
your being held back by hesitation
patience will do nothing but have you wait too long
hold back for no reason
sabotaging your self
you've committed self treason  
dont wait on fate
if you think your being patient
your already too late

Think of you all the time
Said we're over but was lying
There's not another i could find
That could compare to you
So just give me one more sign
Im asking for a clue
Don't care if i have to wait in line
Go through these other guys, i dont mind
I will wait in line until your mine
I will wait untill you see
That you truly do belong with me

While brushing my teeth
i looked up to the mirror
suprised by what i saw
i smiled for second
and got closer to see it a little clearer
not ashamed when i say i cried
cause what i saw was beautiful
even after all the times i lied
after all the things i have done
with no coming back from
i saw what i thought had died
for the first time
in long time
i looked my self in the eye
and i saw pride

True pain....
true pain is a secret
the kind you bear alone
no ones even knows
and as time goes on
it only gets worse
tell some one it hurts
get some help
it only gets worse
so you go on by yourself
an invisible load you carry
where every step is pain
and every step is harder
but you carry on just the same
this is true pain
the kind that is unrevealed
locked inside you
this pain is sealed

5 steps forward
8 steps back
Then I slipped and fell
tumbled down into hell
My soul forced to sell
Trying to climb out
But i'm chained to a boulder
That alone I cannot shoulder
Something I thought I would never need
I'm can no longer do this by myself
I'm here
asking for help

you use to make me smile whenever i saw you
but now
i make myself smile whenever you see me
how did we get turned around
we were so close
nose to nose
how is it we never kissed
i shot his arrow
but i guess its no good without cupid's assist
it seems you think feeling go away
but thats only when they arnt real
you must not know how i really feel
cause mine will never leave
and i will never say farewell
until i see your are happy
until i know that you will always be well

**** Twitter
Every time she makes a post
I feel like I'm with her
I know why you retweeted that
Yes I'm still bitter
Thank you I needed that

Sit here studying every tweet
attempting to read between the lines
like its a portal to your mind
140 characters
not enough space to speak my mine
but for you thats probably plenty
if we are being honest
like your feelings for me
you probably dont need any

Unfollow her
dont search her name
to see if she has tweeted
since you last sent a text
just leave it be
**** twitter
your just bitter
of every tweet i see
not one is about me

My window has closed
I'm sitting here staring
at what could have been mine
through this crystal clear glass
and all i see
is window pain

Told you im over it
But i can still feel it my stomach
Like a punch in the gut
You hit me hard
But i didnt bruise
I scarred
You left a permanent mark
That wont easily go away
But i look at you and smile
Your so beautiful
Even though i feel pitiful
I act as is im happy
Couldnt tell you how ****** i feel
So i dont
I hold it in
Deal with it myself
I act like i'm over it
because as far as you know
I'm over it

you've heard stories
that you probably think are true
but i never went home with a girl
until that one night
i saw him with you
and i saw in your eyes
you wanted him too

I thought it was love
i was blinded by lust
i wanted you
i gave you my trust
gave you all i had
but you brought rain
and we started to rust
soon there will nothing left
but dust
if only i could talk to the past
tell myself its not going to last
its never going to happen
you will always want her
But it wont be returned
so give up hope
before you get burned
but i know me
ill do it all over again
...as if i never learned

Like a summer breeze
Or a wanderlust star
A moment passing by
Was all you are

Let's take a hike
let's go on a journey for life
no car or bike
this journey ends in you being my wife

I know you have a lot of baggage
but its good that your prepared
so of the mountain dont be scared
If your load is too heavy
then your load i will carry
put it on my shoulders
just think of them
as your pain holders

and when your baggage starts to hold us back
as our connection grows older
we will take a peak in your pack
and take out all the boulders
everything that no longer matters
ill take all away
ill even remove his dagger
from where he stabbed you in the back

sometimes we will go left
cause not everything is right
this mountain is tall
sometimes we will have to fight
Its an uphill battle
and the journey is long
you will feel tired and weak
but i will keep you strong

Remember this is a hike
and we're climbing by foot
there's only one rule
don't stay put

This is a journey for life
that ends in you being my wife
so get your baggage
bring what ever you like
and whenever your ready
let's take a hike

I love my life

yesterday
in bed i laid
with my best friend's sister
just one of the mistakes i have made

I love my life

I fell in love with my best friend
and maybe i will be until the very end
but even though it may never be returned
at least this much i have earned

I love my life

Geraldean
kindness in a world so mean
My godmother
has now joined my father
she went to heaven
days before i could give her the best news she has ever heard
as they fly across the sky
i cry everytime i see a bird

I love my life

In a world full of bad
and things that make us sad or mad
no matter what
there is something to be had

I love my life

She is steadfast and strong
Clean of heart and mind
This is where she belongs
And i want her heart as mine

Satisfied in being
Rather than seeming
Theres no one more appealing
Even when i am dreaming

She is of humble birth
but of noble worth
And she sees the same
In everyone on earth

She wears pink one Wednesday
In the fight against cancer
And its because of her one day
We will find the answer

She is humble in success
Without bitterness in defeat
She is one of the best
There is no one you will meet
Who is as worthy to pursue
One so devoted
To the Right, the Good, and the True

It's With a girl of
Zeta Tau Alpha
I fell in Love
The greatest of all things

I use to think you were blind
Why couldnt you see
You belong with me
But i was the one who was blind
I was the one that couldnt see
We were never meant to be
It tore my mind apart
Wish i found out
Before it did the same to my heart

There are things in life
that you lose
And while some come back
others never do.
My only question is
Which one are you?

How i really feel
You will never know
my true feelings
I will never show
even if you knew it
you would not like it
the truth? i try to fight it
it might as well not be true
its not as if you like me too
so i keep it to myself
tell nobody else
i take walks in the rain
to ease the pain
i turn on my music
but you dont hear it.
you act as if your blind
pay attention to the lyric
listen to my song
its about you
and where you belong

Love is an infectious disease
and My heart is contaminated
i didnt know you were contagaious
so i forgot to wash my heart
its spreading through my body
from cell to cell like mitosis
white bloods cells are no help
and there is no cure for this
ive passed the stage
where it's just in your heart
It bursts through the blood vessel
and spreads through every vein.
And soon it will seep to my brain
and in the final stage
ill go blind

She came in a summer breeze

And left with the autumn  leaves

Now I think of her

Whenever I see bare trees

I have liked you for so long
Always played the same song
But things have to change now
So things might not be the same now
Because i have to let go
And since i never learned how
I have to teach myself
Because i only hurt myself
By loving you
Because whats the point
If you dont love me too
I'm not playing games anymore
I'm done
Because by yourself
Games are no fun
So its time i said im threw
Its time i got over you

your beauty is captivating
everything is raptured
all my words are captured
i'm speechless
any talk is reachless
like a clock that doesn't tell time
words are useless
if i can't say to you what i'm suppose to
Like some kind of cosmic joke
every time i get the courage
to speak my mind i choke
i cant breath
everything is trapped underneath
all because you simply showed your teeth
this all happened
because you smiled at me

Every minute I check
Always pretending
Like I felt a vibration
As I pull my phone from my pocket
And look with hesitation
I stare in the screen
Little green light in the top right
That's what I've been waiting for
That's the clue
I finally got a message
But its not even you

I looked over at my bestie
My biffle if you will
More of a woman now
For we have grown
Over the last ten years
And losing her has become
One of my biggest fears
I thought of the advice i was once told
By some one who was quite old
And now im wondering how this will end
His advice
"Marry your best friend"

My mind wondered away
While my heart wished to stay
You tore me in two
Now i dont know what to do
Just know


I still think of you

My heart starts to rush
as i see her from the corner of my eye
my cheeks start to blush
as i watch her beauty pass by

sometimes try to say hi
but i grow weak
unable to the speak
im brave so atleast i try
but i only managed a wave
which feels more like goodbye

My knees start to wobble
and i feel as if my about to topple
im too old to have a crush
but here i am trying to talk to you
and the only sound is hush

Gibberish
its all i can come up with
then you leave
after i said something wierd

I hold whole conversations with myself
"why would you say that?
whats wrong with you?
dont you want to her know you like her?
next time you should ask more questions
and get her to talk
dont you know you talk to much
and sometimes cut her off"

I can barely talk to her
then i realize
how can i expect myself to make the first move
Leaning in to place a kiss
i blush so hard
my shoulders turn red
my chest is pouding
i can hear my heart in my head
and thats just when i think about it

she's the most beautiful thing in this world
and im just a boy mind has completely unfurled
just by looking the eyes of the only girl

As Men we are constantly judged on our strength
the more a man bares upon his shoulders the stronger he is
so as men we put as much on our shoulders until we can no longer put any more
we struggle to carry this load and the more we struggle the stronger we become
but again as men struggle is looked at as a weakness
so the strength of the struggle then is not apparent until our shoulders are left bare
and then there are many men who put no load upon their shoulders so they do not struggle
they shed that weight a little too early
and yet they think themselves strong amongst those who struggle
because do you not walk faster with no load upon your shoulders
putting those who are stronger further behind
all this is to tell you that you cant judge a man's strength based on the load he carries, how far he has walked, or how fast he got there.
There is know way for you to know how strong I really am.

Mind over matter
I got one goal
to make my life better
Before I lose my soul

I think about you all the time
All day theres only you on my mind
You are a star in the night sky
Even when out of sight your always there
But when night comes around and I look in the night sky
All I can do is stare

If I could describe in words
This feeling my heart
Then this would the wildest poem
And the most beautiful art

How am I to survive in this world
when you have left me for another
you were my diary my adviser and friend
but some man with a mask brought you to an end
who is he to take what i loved
you were taken from me by a bullet
its crazy cause when i think about it
you were like my gun
i...nothing but a bullet
when anger overwhelms
you were the safety the kept me from poppin off
when i lost all motivation
you were the gunpowder that pushed me forward
when i was lost
you were the barrel
you pointed me in the right direction
a gun made out of love in affection
the opposite of the tool destruction
that emptied you from chamber of this world
Now i have no gun
anger is now my gunpowder
and the safety barrel are gone
so anyone who is around should run
cause i'm popping off at everyone
in any every direction
A weapon of mass destruction
destroying everything I see

including me

I sit here looking in the mirror
at a man i dont know
a man?
can i even call my self that
after my actions of last night
how can i be a man
how can i pride myself on being a gentleman
when all i do i sin
two girls in one night
one in the pool
and one in my morning sight

im disgusting to me
and what do other people see
ive become what i hate most
while "men" sit there and call me a player
like its some kind of toast
a compliment of sorts
as if its something i should boast
these boys think they see a man

a man.....
is that what i am?

ok here i am
just a little drunk
and its no secret ive been in a funk
but that doesnt seem to matter
cause you dont care
you're more caught up in your own problems
that you never want to share

and im okay with that
cause i undurstand
the only thing that bothers me
is that you dont see

i have been here the whole time
i see you for who you are
and you only wanted me
until i told you i wanted you
so i guess its true
that we only want what we cant have
so should i chase other women
Or hook up with your bestfriend
just so i can maybe have a chance with you in the end?

I know it's crazy
seriously considering it
and thats how much i want you
see im really a nice guy
but when i showed you that
you stoppped saying hi

I dont understand
you say you want a man but is that not what i am
im here
im honest
but that doesnt seem to matter
i tell you you're pretty
and you're not even flattered

ok thats fine
just tell me you dont want me
and i will mind my own
cause there's plenty a girl that wants me
its just you that im fond of
dont compare it to love
cause maybe thats the problem
you think you have me
but the truth is

i dont want you

unless you want me too

I'm on the edge of a cliff
That at any moment
Could break away
And this entire mountain would fall apart
I can feel the ground start to tremble
As all my options pass through my temple
And this rock slips from the base
I realize any move I make
Will just quicken it's pace
So I stand here on this cliff
Almost as if
There is nothing to fear
Like I'm just standing here
Without a clue just taking in the view
How the sky above has a faint red hue
And on the ground there is still a little dew
The green light as the trees touch the ocean's blue
Looking over everything below
Atleast this view I can enjoy
Before the this rock let's go
And I am no more

Day one
Day two
It's the only thing I want to do

Day thee
Day four
Taking everything I have not to walk out that door

Day five
Day six
I just want all my problems fixed

Day seven
Day eight
Even sober in their eyes I see hate

Day nine
Day ten
No matter what I do I can't win

11 12 13 and 14
All this work but no one is on my team

Day 15 day 16
I got nothing back. what am I really fixing

Day 17
Day 18
I realized fate is mean

19 20
21 22
After some time I reached back out to you

Day 23
day 24
In my face you shut the door

Day 25
Day 26
I know what can fix this









Day one

There you were
standing in the middle of the room
when you saw him; your eyes met
and he came right up to you

maybe this time will be different
and he will end that ironic trend

but then,
he too


asked you about your best friend.

Her name is on my heart
Much more than ink on skin
This is an eternal mark
That is made within
Her name is on my chest
Like a roadsign to her soul
Because the only way to her
Is through me
My body is marked as hers
Not as her possession
But as her protection
I exist as her armor
And i will allow nothing to harm her
For her i will go farther
Than a father protecting his daughter
She is the reason I live
The muse for this art
This tattoo on my heart

If I could make you believe
That I'm okay
After watching you leave
And didn't want you to stay

If I could make you believe
That I didn't want you back
That I didn't greave
And my chest wasn't under attack

If I could make you believe
That I'm not in pain
My thought you don't interweave
And alone I wish to remain

If I could make you believe
That your not what I want
And there nothing I wish to retrieve
Then I'll be blunt

If could make you believe
That I'm not completely in love
Then I may not be the best poet alive
Because that did not rhyme
But I would be the best liar of all time

I see you
watching me closely
hanging on the texts i type
cause god know we don't talk
at least not often

I know i could make you happy
I know i seem like everything you want in life
and maybe you have even imagined being my wife
though you wouldnt admit to something so sappy

Im sorry
thats all i can say
but not to you cause then we would both have to acknowledge it
what we both saw but knew are selves too well to pursue
but i guess then again
i always did encouraged you to try something new

but still im sorry
everything i did may have seemed like folly
but know everything you know is probably half true
if even at all
its cause i care for you as a friend
that i decided to save you from the me you would hate
it always ends bad
and thats why i dont date

Just know I see you
i see your pain
i know you think your insane
you think your feelings are in vain
and that i'm a little vain
just know not everything you see is true
cause maybe not as much as you would like
but i do think of you

Usually im fun spontaneous and cool
but when you come around
im no more than a fool
scarred speechless
stumpling over my words
Fear is my motivation
So i try to speak
to say something anything
hello or hi
I try with all my might
every syllable paused by fright
i simply watch you pass by

See I love the thrill
the adrenaline that im feelin in every part of me
How my heart beats fast when I jump off a 100 ft cliff
but with you my opinion suddenly shifts
i see you, my heart beats hard
im suddenly nervous anxious scarred
the sound of my heart beating in my ears
as if i can actually hear my fears
everytime i see you smile when you look a me
a thousands thoughts run through my head
and even more emotions
fear filling me with dread
over thinking everything, like im the girl
my stomach starts to swirl
butterflies at the the simple thought hi's
what do you think of me
i wish i knew
cause i dont know what to do
this something brand new
im confused
whats my move

Usually i know exactly what actions to take
exactly what to say
but this isnt something i can fake
i have this terrible feeling that it might be to late
so focused on making the right move
have i waited to long
or did i do something wrong
when i hinted at something between us
did i lose my opportunity
but then again
doesnt alcohol give me impunity
or do you just look at me with more scrutiny

I told myself i was waiting for the right moment
but i refuse to let the time pass by with giving it a try
this is crazier than anything i have ever darred
telling you how i feel, ive never been so scared
but fear is my favorite emotion
because it only comes around when your near
I swear I tell you everything the next time you appear
Oh no wait
Your here
*run

From a man
Who has played russian roulette
And pulled the trigger
When he was on the second to last chamber
I'll tell you this
The scariest thing you will ever have to do
In this world of men
Is love again

I'm in a deep sleep
and im living my dreams
so dont wake me
i like how everything seems
to be
i dont think you even could
these dreams are reality now
they become real
every time you look at me now
i am blind to everything but this
so i cant leave this world
when everything is right
reality is out of sight
and for my dreams I will fight
so i close my eyes                        and take flight

The next time you feel all alone
Think of the wolf
And the moon
A love story
Lost in history
Lost from every memory
The meaning of a wolf
Still crying for the moon
A howl on a lonely night
A message with a doomed flight
To never reach its destination
Tragedy in manifestation
Mistaken as warning to those around
But Its a scary sound
An eternal vision
Of your eternal desire
That burns your heart to see
A place you can never be
So When you feel alone
Think of the lone wolf
Crying for centuries
Over countless seas
For the moon
Eternally lost in the night's sky
Still holding on
Every night he will cry
Never ready to say goodbye

You can have anything you want,
but you can't have everything.
The time comes in everyone's life
where they must choose what's worth risking

I've been living day to day,
chasing something I can't even see.
It's a competition I didn't know I was in,
until I realized I was losing.

Now what's at stake and what I have left
is being weighed by Justice's scales.
All I'm left with is the skeleton of who I used to be
and a face that I barely recognize as my own...

You deserve everything
But my heart has been split apart
Many times again
Each part roaming the world
Refusing to return
Half of a half
I'm not all here
So it pains me to say
I can't give you all of me
Only what's left of me

We are facing dark times
even though the future may be bright
on this day the sun is hidden
behind thick clouds
with no silver lines
the rain is pouring
the thunder is roaring
and everyone is running
but have faith
for every storm passes
see there is beauty in this rain
just as there is beauty your pain
and meaning to your struggle
so when the clouds finally fade away
when the son comes out
and the lightning stops
when life is its brightest
you will find your self looking back
thankful for your darkest day.