I now realize that
my biggest problem is me-
it always has been

11:11 PM
9/5/22

for once i would like someone
to love me just as much as i love them
for once i would like someone to be all in
what is it like to be chased?
instead of forever chasing
what is it like to be someone's everything?
for once i would like someone
to have a heart as full as mine
for once i want to be on someone's mind
for once i want the path to run both ways
always,
i am the one who loves
from an empty hallway
with nothing to say
besides love me,
love me
love me
love me,
back.

I didn't want you,
I wanted love
and I have realised
that they are not the same thing.

You were a mould
that I poured my insecurities in,
a computer I tried to program.

But you are a sky,
stormy and clear and rainy and warm.

You were so blue when I longed for red.

I didn't want you.
I wanted the thought.

I left the world for a better place
I couldn't stand to take it anymore
Everyone was just suffering
like a revolving door
Then there were no children
The pets had all passed away
I sat alone and wondered
until that final day
I left behind the memories
I'll make new ones up ahead
It will be a glorius time
Now that I am dead

Wisdom is knowing what you need
and what you don't need without
doubt or regret, with no requirement
to apologize to anyone for this hard
earned understanding with yourself.

You can lead a fool to reason,
but you cannot make him think.