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Deanna M Reeder Oct 2016
It is feeling homesick

In your own bed

In the house you’ve lived in

Your entire life

Because home

Hasn’t been this town

Since the first time your smile

Took my breath away.

Home became 
the passenger seat of your car
And the way you said
“I love you”
And

“You are so beautiful”

Without ever opening your mouth 

Home was your mouth

Home was your laughter

Your hands

Home was how you talked about your dreams
Home was the summers

I naively imagined

Might be full of

County fairs

Counting stars

And watching fireworks

With you 

And now,

Home is a place

You took with you 
when you left

I wonder 

If now that you are far away

In a different city

If you too feel homesick

For more than this small town
Deanna M Reeder Sep 2016
I’ve waited a hundred years
But I’d wait a million more for you
Nothing prepared me for
What the privilege of being yours would do
If I had only felt the warmth within your touch
If I had only seen how you smile when you blush
Or how you curl your lip when you concentrate enough
Well I would have known
What I was living for all along
What I’ve been living for
Your love is my turning page
Where only the sweetest words remain
Every kiss is a cursive line
Every touch is a redefining phrase
I surrender who I’ve been for who you are
For nothing makes me stronger than your fragile heart
Though we’re tethered to the story we must tell
When I saw you, well I knew we’d tell it well
With a whisper we will tame the vicious seas
Like a feather bringing kingdoms to their knees
  Aug 2016 Deanna M Reeder
0o
Woke with the sting of regret, it’s been too long since I fell,
I missed the rush of fresh air, I missed the taste of the smell,
I was in love with the tightrope, the stained glass of her eyes,
Bowed by the weight of surrender, I settled for compromise,
Watching those false idols dance, turning wolves into sheep,
As we played coy with the monsters that sang us to sleep,
I had a million places to go, and so much I’d hoped to say,
But I wasted another tomorrow thinking about yesterday,
And those sticky situations where we all came unglued,
While I daydreamed a sky that wouldn’t mirror my mood,
A slow dance with routine, and every face looks the same,
I was choking to death on the stale taste of my name,
So I started sanding sharp edges, hoping that I might fit in,
I spent a year writing my ending, so I could finally begin,
Dusting off open road acrobatics, I twisted south by the sea,
Searching for the rotting remains of who I thought I should be,
But it was just another battle that I lost to the war,
The same wrecking ball feet with new roads to explore,
Nothing quite felt right, my fingertips became springs,
I’d lost the girl to save the world, and other foolish things,
It was my first last-ditch effort, my best second guess,
I painted myself into a corner of the picture of success,
Fifteen-hundred miles, and still felt so far out of reach,
Until late one night my phone rang as I walked along the beach,
I told my story to the old man as he listened patiently,
When I finished, he calmly asked me to turn and face the sea,
He said, “The ocean is the journey, the sum of all you gave,
Do not lose perspective; this is but a single wave.”
I drove home that night and slept for the first time in half a week,
And when I awoke, the path before me didn’t feel quite so bleak,
I realized there’s no shame in letting someone catch us if we fall,
And that being lost is different than being nowhere at all,
I learned that each story is a lesson, not merely a scar,
And that all we have left is not the same as everything we are.
Deanna M Reeder Aug 2016
sometimes, the moon aches for her. this is the kind of secret she will never know. something about her reminds you of stardust, of burning bright, of happiness, and every time you look at her, the world becomes a little less heavy. there are nights where you wish you could be the sky just so you could be a bit closer to her. you say her name, and the wind sighs, and until morning, you will dream of her.
Deanna M Reeder May 2016
Just so you know
I still think about you.

I still talk about you.

I still tell our story because it’s a beautiful story about growth and change, experience…

Just so you know,

I still check up on you.

I still have your number.

I still wish you the best.

It’s just that now I can see that you don’t want to change.

And it really wasn’t your fault.

Truth be told, there is actually no one to blame.

I just changed…

Just so you know,

I still whisper to the wind, whisper to the rain: ‘stay strong’

And I look at the clouds that are now coming your way, searching for a promise that you’ll get that message…

Just so you know,

I don’t feel the guilt anymore.

I don’t remember the feeling.

I don’t remember your voice.

I don’t remember your smile.

You were just a strong illusion,

A strong fantasy

Now disappearing.

But just so you know,

I still think that you’re wonderful.

I still think you’ll find your way.

I still believe in you.

And just so you know,

Every time when I look at the calendar

And I notice that number,
 23,

I’ll send you a thought.

I’ll send you a warm hug.

I’ll send you my positive energy.

Because even tho we cut ties,

You’re still my favorite dream that I was dreaming wide awake.

And even tho you’ll never see this

And it won’t mean anything to you anyway,

I just want you to know

That I’m forever grateful

For having you in my life
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