long before
she was ready to be on her own
she was alone
in a mediocre neighborhood
that her family couldn’t even afford to stay in
living month by month
day by day
wondering when the landlord would kick her out
wondering when her dad would sober up
wondering when her mom wouldn’t be sick anymore
and she longs for the day
when everything would come to an end
so she wouldn’t have to wonder anymore

a war within her heart
breaking down walls
tearing itself apart

i cannot sleep
the seasons change
and with it, my feelings
my feet are cold
literally and figuratively
my blankets are warm
but not warm enough
to drag me
into deep
slumber
i wait for
sleep to overcome me
it does not come