On the dampest days,

I miss you enough to fabricate you.

Years worth of my heart’s energy invested into the study of making matter,

Of bringing it across an ocean

to reassemble near the maples and the bush

and on paper and cards, across a board of letters we catch up and play and paint,

just the same.

i wrote a poem
on the walls of the school house
cursing the subjects with math
that I didn’t do good at.
i lit it on fire
watched it
and I can’t remember what holiday it is
but these fireworks look perfect
i guess this
is the metaphorical
symbolic
*******
teenage rebellion
of an arts student.

my eyes were more blue
but you never did tell me
you liked green seas too

until the artist
has created evolution
from solid marble
please,
do not disagree
that you are the prized exhibit
of your own museum.

you told me to be levelheaded
because symmetry is what makes a beautiful face.

instead,
I will touch my stomach
to the bottom of the pool
so you can’t examine me
without being as low as I am.

if you still want to see,
meet me in the deep end—
we can have a toxic tea party
just you and I.

maybe,
when I finally float to the top
you’ll say
my sense of foolishness
is what you’ve always
loved.

dad,
build a chapel
with her bedroom’s burnt floor
and mourn every February
for her.

I can see the shadow
from her window
reflecting in your eyes and
the matches she lit
in your therapy.

has the ash on her body
from that night
come off your fingers yet?

I will continue to shed skin
until I remind you
nothing of her.

Say my name
And her name
in the same breath.

I dare you to say they taste the same.

hey dollface.
I don't think you know
how truly
ugly
you really are