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Cydney Something Oct 2019
Drip
Drip
She waits for no one

Drrrrrip
Shhhh
She hears you

Satisfied with any port

And
You
Are the storm
Cydney Something Sep 2019
I'll be
Your ***** little secret
For as
Long as I can stand
To be

You'll see
What it is you lack
In her
Exactly what you want
To see

We'll believe
We are above the din
Of what
The world sees fit
To believe

But we are just pretty savages
Cydney Something Sep 2022
Suddenly, the distance between us
Ceases to be
Immense
And becomes
Unfathomable
Cydney Something Jan 2019
I've never been afraid
Of doin' too much
But this boy has me
Thinkin' too much
Cydney Something Nov 2018
Be a friend
Be an adult
Be a ****
Be a manic depressive mess
Just don't be a *****
Cydney Something Oct 2018
Trust me
I would love
To be your girl
But I'm sorry to say
We are doomed
Before we
Start

We are
Doomed
We are
Doomed
We are
Doomed!

Not because
We are apart
And not for lack of trying
But because
Round pegs fit
In my square space
But leave much to be desired

Because I-
In my aggression-
Will fill the corners with questions
Without much space for answers
And you will dance
Safe in your cylindrical home
The corners will sizzle
And I will burn
But you will
Be safe

Until
I choose
To break you
Into all those pieces
That are easy to fix
But sting to lose
Because I will
Most surely
Lose

We are
Doomed
We are
Doomed
My love,
We are doomed

But you
Are still
My love
Cydney Something Nov 2018
Boop

(Actually, I love you.)
Cydney Something Nov 2020
You're up a little late
Aren't you?

The light in your windows
Tells me all
I need to know
Cydney Something Dec 2019
I love you
So much
That I want
To have your
Dozens
Of kids
With no epidural
Cydney Something May 2020
Who knows
If
I'll be able to
Work
Tomorrow

All I know is

The world constantly disappoints me
And liquor
Only
Seldom
Does
Cydney Something Nov 2020
Witching hour-
Long special
For the masses
Of anxious thoughts

More *****!
No,
You're cut off.

All the bars
Are closed
In Cleveland
But I've got
A good bit
Of liquid cowardice
Left in the freezer
Cydney Something Feb 2019
I've been drinking since I woke
And thinking of boys
And trying to smile

But it's hard these days
To find my place
To answer "why?"

He's steady snoring now
I'm wide awake
I'm longing for more

I can't get high for a while
So I'll drink
So I'll think

Only hungover occasionally
It's really all right
It's really all wrong

Drink
Think
****
Snore
I don't like ***** anymore
Dry
Cydney Something Dec 2018
Dry
"Why do you put up with him?"

Because colors are intensified
When he's in my line of sight
Even the menacing hues
Are better than sepia tone

Because I'm like a flower,
And he is the sun
Although it threatens
To burn me alive

Because I forget yesterday
If he is now
The pain he'll cause tomorrow
Doesn't exist yet

Because he gives life flavor
Vibrant and complex
Which makes the bitter
Preferable to bland

Because his malice
Is juicy and sweet
And his absence
Is cold and dry

I have no business being here,
But I love it,
So I'll
Stay
This is not a poem about my husband, but rather an imagined lover
Cydney Something Nov 2020
Isn't it wonderful?
Being an American
Means
LIBERTY
And
JUSTICE
FOR ALL

But we are all
Still human,
Right?

And our
Nature
Is to
Disagree
Cydney Something Jan 2019
Greater men
Have not existed
And yet
You kinda ****
Cydney Something Mar 2019
All I know
Is how
I feel

And sometimes I
Wish I
Knew nothing
Cydney Something Oct 2018
Thieves in the night
Liars, scandalous harlots
They dance, they sing
They give no secrets away

Servants to the senses by day
Soldiers to the battle by night
Subjects to no king
Least of all, the mind behind them

Murderous, treacherous,
Maddening, Fierce
Demons and Sirens
Hold not a flame to their light

Felling the mountains
With naught but their will
How easy a mark, then
Must they have made my heart
Cydney Something Jan 2020
I've stood in this
Field for hours
But all of the flowers
Have an even
Number of petals.
He loves me not.
Cydney Something Mar 2019
I'm too fast
And too forward
For most people
And most places

Too honest
And too crazy
For your liking
And your spaces

I'm still trying
And still hoping
That you'll adjust
And you'll take me

But too hopeful
And too desperate
Is all you see
And all they see
Cydney Something Dec 2018
I can't blame you
For me
And all the things
I **** up

I can't hate you
For changing
How you feel
About me

I won't tell you
How to live your life
Or how
To love me

I don't know
Anything
At all
Anymore
Cydney Something Jan 2019
I wanted to be friends
I wanted to be lovers
But you're so insecure
And dishonest
And fickle

I wanted to be cool
I wanted to be open
But you're so ******* vain
And worrisome
And fickle

I wanted to be stellar
I wanted to be happy
But you're so preoccupied
And ****** up
And fickle
Cydney Something Jul 2019
In the end
We can pretend
It never happened
Cydney Something Oct 2018
At your core is a glowing stone
That hums, radiates warmth
And asks that you ******* LIVE

That's where I come in

How do I ask
To rip it from your chest
KALI MAAAAA
So that you can know it's real?
Should I just reach in? No,
Not without permission

May I, then?
I'll do it slowly, gently,
One body-numbing **** at a time
Two forceful heartbeats at a time
Three sweet, loaded words at a time
Until you hear the hum

Now then, let us **** ourselves
Gradually, so the living tastes better
Fill your lungs, my veins, our stomachs
Handle me with carelessness
Until you feel the warmth

There! You barely noticed!
The stone rests in my palm
Your blood drips silently to my feet
The hole in your chest fills the room
This is why I came here

Terror, panic, fright, confusion,
As I calmly turn away
For now, you'll think you can't go on
But remember! Yesterday, it wasn't even there
Now, you grieve the blessed *****
So I won't call you pathetic out loud

This is why I came here
To show you how the stone
In its brightness, song, and warmth
Will bring you to the center of all good
Then tear you down to hell with its absence

You should learn these things, my dear
For you taught me well
When you took mine for yourself
Without even knowing what it was
Cydney Something Apr 2019
The floor is above the ceiling
In a two-story house

The ones we thought looked so cool
When we walked through the models

The desert landscape
In the background

Everything was dead
And we hated it

But the two-story houses
They were cool

You made noise on the floor
And it sounded like the ceiling

Reminded us
Of Grammy's basement

The adults
Made the ceiling thud

As we kids
Played games downstairs

The floor
Is above the ceiling

In a
Two-story house
Cydney Something Nov 2018
I'll sit here,
Wasting away in your memory,
Surviving on fumes
Of a love gone dry

I'll wait here,
Counting the moments and nights,
Cursing the heavens
For a hope I lost

I'll sleep here,
Dreaming of what could've been,
Fading to grey
In a sea of your thoughts
Cydney Something Jun 2019
She can feel the hands
Searching my waist and back
She can hear the low growl
Of voracious beasts

She wakes to the smell
Of sweat and shower soap
She waits impatiently
To be handled, tasted, ******

I am but a subject
To a hysterical queen
It is my job
To satisfy her

She loves me, but
She wants more,
New hands and tongues and *****
To placate her colossal lust

Her voice is loudest
Her reign, supreme
Her demanded sacrifices
Are always slaughtered promptly

How many will be
Her victim?
The queen
Shall be overthrown!

I will rule in her place
And she shall serve
Veronica is my ****
Cydney Something Aug 2019
It's just that everyone tries so hard to pass themselves off as very different from themselves, and I just wanted to drag you into yourself.
Cydney Something Jun 2019
So many people
So few friends
Everyone, preoccupied
With nothing

Nothing but themselves
Their stupid lives
Their stupid issues
Their vanities

I grasp at nothing
And try to find
Something
And come up short

Maddening
Sickening
The nature of
All these people

**** 'em all
The angst is real
Cydney Something Nov 2019
What if I
Actually
Can't
******* handle
Just
Being
Your friend
?

What if it hurts?
Cydney Something Nov 2018
I just
Want to
Stay high
Cydney Something Dec 2018
How I wish
And wish
You cared enough
To say hello

But I realize
You are a free agent
Unto the will
You choose

And you choose
And choose
To not say
Hello

And you realize
I am a mess
Plagued by
Your absence

So that
Should tell
Me
Something
Cydney Something Mar 2019
You remember
So many things
I wonder
If you remember

How

I

Taste
Cydney Something Dec 2020
Falling away
Making suicide jokes
Playing dumb
Feeling dumb
Being dumb
Drinking
S m o k i n g
******* strangers
Going to work
Paying my bills
Stayin' alive

So I guess
You could say
That I am
Functioning
Cydney Something Aug 2020
how i wish someone would burst in and save me from my total lack of motivation to operate in this sphere
Cydney Something Oct 2018
Roll
Stretch
Yawn
****
Ugh
Bloodshot
Eyes
In
The
Mirror
Empty
Can­s
In
The
Sink
Glitter
And
Dandruff
Cover
My
Pillow
Cydney Something Oct 2020
Another chapter
Of my Hell
Closes

Progress Report
Reads:
Needs Improvement

Oh well,
I'll try harder
Next time.
Cydney Something Nov 2020
Baby boy-
I am not nearly
THAT big of a simp

You may be cute,
But ain't nobody
THAT ****** cute
How are you gonna cancel three **** appointments back-to-back and then have the NERVE to ask me to cover your shift??
Cydney Something Nov 2020
There is a certain
Ache
Familiar to me
But worse this time

We met on the subway
At the Subway
No-
But there was a blunder
So it qualifies

I was drunk
On Angry Orchard
Unfiltered
The drink and I
Had that in common

But you were
Sweet to me

And so
So
So
So cute

The real thing

I could feel it

Could you?
Cydney Something Dec 2019
It's the
Anxiety
Of hearing
A loooong
CRACK
and not knowing where it's coming from
Cydney Something Apr 2019
It's over now,
And I don't wanna talk about it
Cydney Something Nov 2020
During my endless
Crashing
Maddening dances
With pain
And exuberance
Will be
A light show
That lasts
Half the day
Cydney Something Mar 2019
Is there a sun
We can hide from?
Are there even trees
In which we can hide?

How can I tell
I'm really alive
If things don't exist
Until I notice them?

But then...
Could there be a you
And what am I
When you aren't nearby?

I want you to exist always
Exist in my eyes,
In my ears,
In my hands

On my tongue
Where you once existed
But now...
You have no taste

Is there an ocean
If I can't hear it?
Is there a shore
If your feet aren't sinking in?

Do I even have a heart
That beats
If you aren't
Anywhere near me?
Cydney Something Mar 2019
Poetry
Spews from me
The moment your back is turned

Never tell him
But I can't stop
The shrine in the closet needs gum

How is it
That this coarse wretch
Sings sonnets to your every praise?

Magic
Or...it must be
Move it, Football Head!
Do you guys remember Hey Arnold?
Cydney Something Oct 2018
GET

the

E
v
e
r
loving

****

OUT

OFMY

*******
*******
o­hmyfuckinggodiFUCKINGhateyou

H
E
A
D

seriously
please
imb­eggingyou

And maybe eat ****
Cydney Something May 2019
I want to tell you
How much you matter
And how you are loved
But you wouldn't believe me
And I would be
Sad
Hi
Cydney Something Aug 2019
Hi
I wonder
What
I made you
feel.
Cydney Something Oct 2020
But he was the only
Purely joyous part
Of my wretched existence

He leapt into my life
And back out
Like a deer in a clearing

Now he is
Gone
And I am left in my
Wretchedness

Alone
Cydney Something Dec 2019
Gazing into
Your eyes
Is like
Staring
At the
Sun

You can
Only do it
For a
Few seconds
And
Only to
Prove
You can
Cydney Something Sep 2019
Everything swirling around me in ribbons of colored light, making rainbows in the air

I'm dizzy

I'm really actually pretty stupid when I think about it, but they tell me I'm so smart

Don't trust anyone

We can't trust the thoughts or feelings we hold because they are made of air and wishes

It feels good

To give myself to the feeling of longing and perceived need and lust

But
I
Get
Hurt
A
Lot
Cydney Something Apr 2020
Nowhere feels like home
When your heart won't settle
Won't beat
Won't swell or even thaw
So
I
Guess
I'm
Homeless
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