What do you do
When you get the feeling
That, there’s not so much
To look forward to?

What do you do?

Do you wait for it to pass?
Do you weep and wail
To let the world know how you feel?
Or do you keep it inside?

What do you do?
When you feel just a little bit…low
Do you force a smile
Put on a brave face?
Or do you wear a frown?
And sigh with the eyes of a heartbroken clown

What do you do?
When you wonder whether
All your effort and hard work
Doesn’t really amount to very much at all
And you wonder
Why you still get up each day
And carry on
Because the alternative
Isn’t worth contemplating

Id like to know what you do
Because Id like to know what to do, too

Do we all have times like these?
I’d like to know if you do, too
Perhaps I’d feel a little lighter
If I knew it wasn't just me....

Swaying parallel lines
Tender white waves
Smooth curves of earth
Tall green stems

Soaring apparitions
Reflected perspectives
Voyaging vessels
Large and small

A collection of separate desires
All obeying the sun
Dancing to its rhythm
Determinedly

If the sun should ever falter
And fail to shine
How confusing and chaotic
Our lives would become

The sun is hope
And I am a child
We are all children of the sun
Rays of hope

Watching people
We observe growth
Life within life
Life giving hope

All are nurtured
And find their home
In the kingdom
Of the eternal sun

Crossing great highways
Of the capital city
The king fights on
Indomitably

Thick green matter
May clog his airways
And rattle his chest
As he splutters through
The pallor of a wintery illness

December fatigue
And hungry anxiety
May grinds his bones
And shake his humours
But ancient spells
Will rouse up within him
A dragon more powerful and strong
Than you can imagine

He has made it to this day  
And he will ingest
A concoction of sugary confections
And spiced drinks
To anoint and soothe his inner workings

For he is
The King of Essex
Most noble and brave
Undefeatable by any adversary
Prepared to fight
Until the bitterest conclusion
Occupying the throne
Glowing with life

Hanging in the air
Leaning into the wind
Motionless
Still

Waiting
Watching
Looking down
For movement

A strike

And then
Nothing

Ascend
Arise
Find a place
To take the winds
And float alone

Waiting
Watching

I take my walk
In silence
Occasional melodies
Repeating in my head

I have walked these paths before
But I am older
Less expectant

Yet somehow
Still restless
Wanting more
From myself

Though uncertain
How to respond

Kite
You know what to do
You fail many times
Before you succeed
Yet with each failure
You climb higher

Even though my mind can’t locate
A way forward
The walk does something to me

Maybe I have to leave my problems
For them to become resolved
Perhaps my interference with them
Is the problem?

Noble pathway
Show me
That small diversions
Are but earthly

Success will come
But first
I must fail
Fail
And fail again

Why must our children
Tremble
As they walk our streets
On their way to school?

Why is it
That nine-year olds
Fear
Being mugged?

Why is it
That those who have gone before them
Have not survived
Into adult hood?

Why is it
That knives
Made for cutting food
Are cutting short our children’s future

What have done to create this mess?

My anger rises
Tears rush to my eyes
What have we done!

And what will we do

TO PUT THIS RIGHT!

Knowing that it will be tough
Is one thing
Dealing with difficulty
Another

When we feel strong
Challenge seems but nothing
But when the challenge comes
We will have to face our weakness

In passing
Curved channels
Of green, brown and blue
I absorb information

‘Easy rider’
‘Star gazer’
‘Barge Gladys’

Where will you go?
Where will you end?

Such labels and markers sing
‘I made this’
‘I made that’
‘I am…this!’

Imprinted pride
Everywhere
Screams out names
For us
To forget

Grazing cows
Pay no heed
To the comings and goings
The ownings and claimings

And why should I?

The efforts of the dead
Our forefathers, foremothers
Rest beneath our feet

We break them
We use them
Unravelling the knots of the past
To smooth a silk pathway
To the future

Life’s suckling femininity
Never ending
A flow of humanity
Beats on

How strange our inventions
How peculiar our spirits

We add something daily
Without even knowing

Is my compassion
Stronger than my greed?

Do I care more for myself
Than I do for others?

What is the balance
That need be struck?

Are the answers
To be found
In nature?

The sun always rises
Tides always turn

The skies fill our lungs with air
The soil welcomes seeds to grow

Birds never cease to sing
Rain waters quench our thirst

Night falls to grant us rest
Stars shine to give us hope

Each day
We awake
To bathe
In lakes of compassion
Without even noticing

You are black
Your mother is white
You emerge from warmth and safety
Into the cold winds of March

Amnion clings to your coat
Shiny, bubbly
And you struggle to stand
On the soggy field
Searching desperately for milk

Your legs give way
But you stand again
Close against the chill of the cross winds

A cord still connects you
And while your mother grazes
You drink

You are together
United by birth
Life
And this spring afternoon

It’s just me and my cat
Left sat on the chair
To ponder the last day of the summer holidays

Everyone else is getting ready
For the first day back to school

There are only the sounds of movements upstairs
The opening and closing of drawers
The search for train passes
The late evening footsteps up and down the stairs
And the hum of the dishwasher
Cleaning the dinner plates

Summer is over
A new autumn term is about to begin

Children will become young adults
And young adults will become adults
The old will get older
And the earth will continue to rotate on its axis
Revolving around the sun
Just as it should
Just as it always has done

On a day like today
I have to trust
My very essence
Which gathers in great droplets
Like syrup running from a spoon.

If I can wear a smile today
And encourage everyone I meet
Then perhaps if this were to be
My last day on earth
I would be happy with it

Sandy yellow
Orange
Green

These are the layers
Of colour
Painted by the brush

They swirl and swish
Across the page
Making patterns
That soothe my eyes

As I stare
I see faces
In the colours
Looking back at me

Colours
Make my soul
Dance with life

They remind me
Of the beauty of this world
And change how I feel

Leadership
Is caring
About everyone

This is about
Being present
In the moment
With another human

Not rushing from them
Distracted
By our own
Desires and goals

Facing the shared problems of life
Entirely
Completely
Together

Whilst being true
To who we are
And what
We feel

Raindrops nod the leaves
Like the reply of piano keys
And the music of nature
Swirls
In abundance

Here
Birds are happy
Pure grasses carpet
Ancient Earth

Gazing
Into the distance
Eternal friends
Have joined hands
To carry each other
Over uneven
Mountain passes

Though my feet are weak
My spirit is strong
And I will bathe in
Great waterfalls
Of re-invigorating
Sounds

With you
My companions
I am truth
And you
Great tree
Lend your boughs
As shelter
To blackbirds
Who have time
To live
Time
To sing

Each day
Seems more beautiful
Than the last
As we learn
About who we are
And
Who we are not

The ageing
Of humanity
Reveals truth

I look ahead
To renewal
And the newness
Of each day

We have one body
One life
Destined to slowly fade
Yet full
Of eternal meaning
And legacies

The tides are in
As I journey today
And I carry
A single lemon seed
In my pocket
To remind me
Of the potential
For transformation

Such a seed
Under favourable conditions
Will grow
Nurtured by mystic forces

But in doing so
It must break out
Of the tough shell
That protects
Its inner potential

Sometimes
A seed has to sit
And wait
And wait

For years

The wise carefully transfer
The jewel
Of true heritage
From one
To the next
And nothing is wasted

Today
I decide
To let the universe
Be my guide

To help me find
Hope
From a different source

One disconnected to the
Rotating axis
Of my daily grind

This rush of the modern age
Does not sit well with me

The struggle to keep up, keep up
Makes one feel like you are chasing others

Today I set my own pace
And allow others to join

If they wish

Fanned by the fair winds of the mystic
Like my seed
I can wait

Orange moon
Lemon sky
I wait all day
For the night

For dreams to come
For time with you
Lemon sky
Orange moon

One
More
Day
Passes

In
This
Strange
World

I am
One
Day
Older

And
No wiser

I realise
I know
Less
Every day

But
Know
Myself
More

Ancient trees
Look down upon saplings
As if to say

'Grow young friend, grow...
I will drop my leaves
To enrich the earth just for you'

There are lessons in this world
Before our eyes

Perhaps we should see them
More clearly

Again
Again
Again
Sunshine
You show me how to shine

To be better
Than I am

To fight against inertia
Once again

Again

I pass through these fields
On the road of survival.

Survival

Survival?

I want life itself to be a joy
But inside I feel dreary
Weary
Energy slumping
Sliding
Declining
Am I dying?
In my own small way?

So, let them test my blood
To tell what they can
My greatest challenge
Will await me
For sure

The birds flock
Round the ******* tips of Pitsea
Anything to survive

If I am to be re-born
Let me be a bird
Let me fly without thinking
Let my instinct take over
And lift me above the politics
Of small circumstance

Let me fly!
Let me fly!
Let me fly!

To live
Is to struggle
Yet
Let not the struggle
Be a struggle

Let the struggle
Be a privilege

There is light creeping through
The dark folds
Of our house

There is kindness
Lurking beneath
Words that have been spoken

There is a space that
Can be found
For us to exist
Together

So
Let’s take a cup
Of wine
And bury
The hatchet

Let’s be grateful
For all the work
We have done

On this evening
Let’s rest our tired bodies
And take comfort


For tomorrow will yield
Wonders
Unknown to us

In these strange times
I have for some reason
Been trying to avoid
Asking myself the question

'Have I been living
The life
I wanted…?'

The life
I expected
To lead…?

And when
I face this big question
I realise
I have not…

And I have been wondering
Why?

Why…have I been living
A life
So different
From that
Which I expected?

And I realise...

How could I possibly
Live a life
Just created and limited by
The workings of my own mind?

When this universe is so great
So deep so profound and
Magical

That the best thing to do
Is to let go of all expectations
And fall...

Be part of it
Go with it
Flow with it
Experience life within this Universe
With all its gifts and treasures

With not one expectation

The part of you
That was never looked after
As a child
Suffocates
Beneath heavy layers of protective material
Laid down over years
Of earthly living

And so
You do not know
How to love fully

But you can learn

Reach deep into your spirit
Befriend the frightened child
Bore a channel through your armour
And allow the limitless love
Trapped in your life
To flow forth freely

You stand
Cracking jokes

The mischievous smirk
Of a naughty school boy on your face

On the day that our country’s highest court
Rules your shutdown of our parliament

Unlawful

You dismiss the very notion of law and order
Claiming the people want you to deliver Brexit

And that you should be allowed
To just get on with it

You bring shame upon yourself
Mocking the people and our democracy

We knew it all along
You are a liar

Obsessed with nothing
But your own interests

Shame on you Boris Johnson

Shame on you

I expand my life
As only I can
Cherishing the beauty
Of what has become

I dance
Through the forests of life
Encountering roots of good fortune
As they swirl and grip the earth

There is only making
The best of things
Dancing to heavenly music as it plays

Desiring nothing more than
The happiness of others

Working
To live together
Harmoniously
As one

Life is a risk
Threat lies everywhere
As does opportunity
Life is full of such things

We are but living beings
Held in the most delicate balance
Between normality
And extinction

And there is joy to be found
In the very essence of living
No matter what or where
We find ourselves

If we can but remember this
Then each moment becomes precious
Unique
Memorable

Life is everywhere
Sometimes
A red berry
Sometimes
A horse

I am life
Manifest
In human form

Dancing in the ocean of time and space
I plot my own course

How can this sky
Offer so many variations
In a single day?

Deep blue skies
Hosted a golden sunrise
Borne of the East

In early afternoon
Sharp whites, greens, browns and silvers
Decorated the waters edge
With glistening clarity

Early evening
The sky was halved
By a double rainbow
Deep grey on one side, lilac and pink the other

At sunset
A cherry red sheen
Illuminated the leaves
On the great tree
Outside my window

At night
Plum colours
Hold the silence

Coffins float barge-like
Down a flooded street in Louisiana

Horses lie as if dead in grassy fields
Whilst lorries stand motionless at the roadside

The wheels of my train
Screech against the hot tracks

And trees continue to grow silently
Beside curving fields bathed in crisp sunlight

My sandals click against the soles of my feet
As I head home quietly

In the summer
Of 2016

I’m back again
On the early train
And the clocks have gone back
So, it’s light in the morning

I can faintly smell
The salt of the low tide

A flock of seagulls
Races alongside my train

A man with a high visibility jacket, purple hat and a coffee
Gets on
I wonder what his day will be like

It is Monday
The beginning of a week
That will be like no other

If I were to live
In the same old way
I would experience
The same old things

So, if I can live
In a different way
I will be taking steps
Into the unknown

The discomfort
Of my comfort zone
Far outweighs
The discomfort
Of
The unknown

To live
Alive
Surpasses
The enactment of
A living death

Living is struggling

Things we strive for
Hang finely
In the balance

Is the universe with us
Or against us?

Are we with the universe
Or fighting it?

Or are we living
Within the Universe
Struggling to survive
Struggling to create
Within it all?

Life creates
Our lives create
As we channel universal energy
Through our bodies, words and minds

All we can do is struggle
With that part of ourselves
That is dead
Or wishes to be so
And liberate the side
That lives vibrantly, strongly, confidently

We are dead
And we are alive

Awake
And
Asleep

We create
And
We wait

Struggling
And
Surrendering

Skies of grey loom overhead
The shard peers down at heavy clouds
Concrete upon concrete
Oppresses narrow strips of grass
And bluebells grow defiantly
Among heaps of *******

This racing collision of buildings
This place of invention and reinvention
This factory of services
This web of moving parts
That people strive to be part of
Is known as

London

I must have watched
Thousands as they went past.
Some of them smiling
Some talking
Many with headphones in
Just trying to keep going
Pacing
Racing
Running
Advancing

These are the five-hours-plus-brigade
Non-athletes
The heavily built
The fancy-dressers
The fun-runners

The fundraisers
The elders
The young
The determined
The never-give-uppers
The heroes
And heroines

Pale faced
Sweating
Exhausted
Aching
Stumbling
Lumbering
One step
At a time

These are the champions
Running for mum
Running for dad
Running for children
Running for hospitals
Running for rhinos
Running for bees
Running for hope
Running for life
Running together

Pounding their bodies
For the good of others
Pushing themselves
Beyond the limits

We are the cheerers
Lining the route
The clappers
The callers
The encouragers
The supporters

Togetherness
Created
A mass
Of people

One day
One goal
One finish line
One people

There are good days
And there are bad days

There is light
And there is dark

There is despair
And there is hope

Somehow
There is always hope

To build life around hope
No matter how or why
Is truly courageous

If we can believe in the darkness
We should also believe in the light

Sometimes you just have to take a step forward
Off the precipice
Into the unknown

A lone swan
Will fly across the sky
Searching for its lover

We should fly
Across the skies of our lives
Searching
For happiness

What’s underneath
Your long blond hair

What makes you jump
From your comfortable chair

Who will place
A ring on your finger?
Whose first kiss
Will make you linger?

Im going to die
I don’t know why
Or what will take me
From this place

I’ve run my race
Revealed my face
Am out of place
Without disgrace

Who will buy
My heart and soul
Roll the dice
To make me whole

I'm broken apart
There's nothing there
I stare beyond
Your empty chair

I long to change
The inner
Liberate the weight
Of the outer
Return to the form
Of the times before

I want to evaporate
The strain
That I possess
It’s making a mess
Of my body
And mind

I crave
The youthfulness
Of yesterday
Dancing with friends
Until the very end

I grieve lost days
Trapped in this maze
Gripped by the haze
Of the fiery rage
Of a pandemic

There are days
When I long to be old
Looked after
Irresponsible
Cradled in the arms
Of a caring force

There are days
When the daily routine
Just seems too hard
And all I yearn for
Is rest

There are days
When I just want
To give up
Days when
I just want someone else
To take care of things
Days when I want life to feel
Easy, easier

But I don’t know if
I will ever have
Days like these

There are days like these
Days like these

I guess knowing
That there will always be
Days like these
I should learn to let them go
Release them
Feel grateful for my struggles
And all those
Who protect me
And care for me
As I am
Now

This is what I should do
This is what I should do

What once was there
Has gone

I never knew loss
Until now

Your great presence
Has departed
Like the last train
Disappearing softly into the night

And we, who are left
On the platform of our lives
Feel your absence
Remember your presence
And realise, the good times we shared
Are over

We who experience the loss
One day will become ‘the departing’
And our pain
Will be felt
By others

Money for food
Money for housing
Money for transport
Money for warmth

Money for the council
Money for insurance
Money for clothing
Money for washing

Money for watching
Money for joining
Money for making
Money for living

Money
Money
Money
Money

What comes in
Goes straight on out
What goes out
Goes somewhere

Somebody somewhere
Is getting
Rich
Whilst I
Seem to be getting poor

I have my family
I have my bed
I have some things that others don’t
I have my pride
And I have my dignity
And I have hope
Hope

To build up my account with hope
And widen my circle of friends
Is
And will be
The greatest gift
Of all

Child
Caught in adult form
Regressing
Disappearing
Into smaller circles

Moving only
Into the past
Hurting those
Who happen to be close

Comfort in conflict
Fearful of unity
Mistrust
Your only constant companion

The words you say
Change me

The sound of your voice
Revives me

The touch of your hand
Moves me

You understand me
When I struggle to understand myself

You direct me
When I am lost

If I feel lonely
Desolate and small

You rescue me
From the black hole of my dark thoughts

We could spend eternity
Fighting

Or we could build something beautiful
Together

Love is the greatest gift
One human can give to another

It brings the greatest of all joys
To both giver and recipient

Let us love each other fully
And create a world full of joy

Love deepens
The colours of my thoughts

Softens
The texture
Of living

Rings
With
Laughter

Dances
With
Joy

It lies deeper than
Feelings
Carried from beneath consciousness

Forged
Beyond safety

Borne
From uncertainty

To be in love
To be loved
To be love
To love

Is more
Than
I could ever
Say

My love

You share
Your bed
Only
With me

We break
Our bread
And share

We bathe
And wash
Together

You wear
My clothes
Even my jeans

You argue
With me
More than anyone

You are fierce
With me
Though you are kind
To others

You plan with me

You push and berate me

You drink with me

You age with me

You
Inherit
Me

And

I
Inherit
You

Love is
A warm drink on a cold day
A familiar blanket to a child
A mother’s embrace
A scarf to wrap around my neck

Love is
The smell of coffee roasting on winter afternoons
Glistening waterfalls
The burst of spring
Newborn kitten’s nestling together

Love is
Distant bells ringing
Wedding gatherings
The sun setting
Quiet times, together

Most people
Just want to be loved
And if they don’t feel loved enough
They will find ways to
Let the world know