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 Dec 2014
Edna Sweetlove
On some verdant green hill far away in cute little Palestine of old
Before the Israelis marched in and bunged out the owners
Jesus was hanging about on the cross not feeling too happy
I suppose he was dying for you and me because his Dad was asleep
And he doesn't care if you are a ****** or a giant or a fatty or a fairy!
Yessir! He loves everyone unequivocally provided they praise him endlessly
And receive him in their souls and sing him a load of ****** hymns!

But if you don't receive the LORD and reject the words of the EVIL ONE
He (God) will crush you totally and utterly like a blue-tailed fly
Squatting on a well-used and ill-cleaned second-hand lavatory brush
Without any exception whatsoever even if you are an ugly fat dwarf
As He don't hold with no discrimination nor positive action no way!
So get down on your knees (a shorter journey for amputees with stumps)
And get praying to THE LORD without blinking twice. Yeeha! Amen!
 Dec 2014
Edna Sweetlove
Oh Lord, you have control of my heart and soul
You let me know I am saved from horrid sin
And I have my finger on the trigger
So I can **** those heathens again and again!

I never stop singing songs to the Lord
As I know God loves a nice hymn tune
As I fire my bullets off twenty-four/seven
Under the sun and under the bright moon!

I read the Bible all night (except when I'm asleep)
And I pray with my brave chaplain twice a day
How we love to **** Satan's evil spawn
It's nearly as nice as having a real good pray!

Only by the force of the gun can the world be free
And I am happy to slaughter the wicked foe
Filling their sinful carcasses full of US lead
Cos I'm a Christian God-fearing GI Joe!
 Nov 2014
Edna Sweetlove
Oh tell me where has England's glory gone,
Lost golden days of beef and lukewarm beer?
Now it's polenta in a gastro-pub,
Chilean Chardonnay, Tequila Slammers.

Her Empire proudly pink on schoolroom maps;
India, Afric, source of plundered loot galore.
All gone, all gone, black faces back in charge
And black drug pushers stalk old London's streets.

Fat huntsmen dressed in pink, all banished now,
Their yelping foxhounds ripping prey apart,
Celebrating sick English country ways
Before returning to their mortgaged homes.

City yobbos yelling down their mobiles,
Fatcats slurping up their creamy profits;
All the public cares about is football
And the *** lives of the media's darlings.

So where has England's honour gone today?
Up the American military ****,
Our government showing its smug disdain
For what decent people care and think.

We've sold out to baseball caps and burgers,
And imported TV shows for the mentally *******,
A visitor attraction for obese rich yanks to drawl
"We're real glad we saved these Limey's ***** in two wars".
 Oct 2014
Edna Sweetlove
The world will not forget you, O Osama,
You rubbed the Yankee flag in deepest ****;
To all your people you were a charmer;
At the end you laughed at death, unafraid of it.
No one will forget when the towers crumbled
And the Pentagon's fragile walls were breached;
How the Arab World, so long sore humbled,
Relished the revenge they had beseeched.
Though murdered by a gang of mercenaries,
Shot in the face whilst your daughter wept,
Your name will live on in Islamic memories,
Never from history's page to be swept.
Famed for fighting the Great Satanic foe;
Who next will follow where you dared to go?
I wrote this 3 years ago and it remains relevant. Osama humilated the world's only superpower with the skillful use of only a tiny band of self-appointed martyrs; he evaded retribution for 10 years in spite of billions of US bucks being spent on hunting for him; he met an ignominious end and has been foolishly turned into a martyr for his cause; jihadists will never forget him; sadly, a dreadful revenge was inevitable and is now unfolding. The West once again shot itself in the foot, the bullets being supplied by American forces hellbent on petty vengeance.  We should face facts and deal with the Arab/Muslim world as equals, not as people to be vilified and insulted. And the current result is?  ISIS.
 Oct 2014
Edna Sweetlove
Mein Gott! Can't you see,
in the Teutonic light,
What we proudly Sieg Heil
with the torches all gleaming?
The ******* beckons,
through the perilous fight,
Great Deutschland awakens,
not sleeping or dreaming!

On the huge TV screens,
the footballers are seen,
Foul proof through the night
Brave Germany's dream.

O please make that Hakenkreuz banner come first!
We're the land of Sauerkraut, brave home of the Wurst.
You may wish to sing this to the tune of "the star spangled banner"; on the other  hand you may not wish to do so. The only form of nationalism permitted in modern Germany is sports fanaticism.
 Oct 2014
Edna Sweetlove
Recession, what recession, I couldn't care a jot
You should check out all the money that I've got.
I don't need to work as my Dad's a merchant banker
And he's a fat cat too, what a greedy ******.

I look out my window to see the peasants grovel
In the dirt, starving in a filthy Council hovel;
I just sit and smile and sip at my Laurent-Perrier.
Long live capitalism, I just couldn't be any merrier.

— The End —