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 Aug 2017
Rai
Exquisite is the moment before remembering who I really am
All my naked emotions are running riot
And yet
Here I am at the dawn of a new day

New vices and old habits have become routine
the rain just keeps pouring.
Leaving its traces down the window washed clean is this charred view from within.

Tracing the raindrops as they free fall
Spiralling out of my control down a crystal walkway that leads no-where.
Emotions like daggers are drowned into a numbness that I manage to grasp
but not let go of.
Where to next my friend who am I in this moment?

Nothing can compare to the storm within the mind.
To many faces etched in stone and the dreams only exist in a nightmares sense.
Today won’t haunt tomorrow as the past thrives within the pain.

Waves break just before the shore.
And that that was
simply reminds us of what shall never be.

It’s hard I cannot lie to you
The bottom of the bottle is looming
Just like the end of some romantic novel
We crashed and burnt
When in hell will this grieving turn to anger
At least in anger I will find once more my lost spirit
My salvation
Another team effort between myself and the amazing John Patrick Robbins AKA Gonzo everyone's friendly bar tender
It has been a pleasure my friend and remember the road may be bumpy but with true friends on board your make your way out of the gloom in the end
If it wasn't for you I probably wouldn't be writing right now so Cheers
 Jun 2017
Rai
It changed
The day you left
I know it was a gradual submission
But it felt so final
We searched under every pebble
Looked within ourselves
Delved into our scar torn hearts
For a reason why you would of left
Not here
Not this place
But us
ALl OF US
Because it wasn't just me
That you shared your worries with
It wasn't just me
That you took into your trust zone
We all became a circle
Inter linked
One and all
Until it crumbled
We still have so much love here
Across ponds and oceans
Desserts and highways
Interconnected
We would still welcome you back with open hearts and open minds
After all
Your tribe is your tribe
Whatever reason they ran
If only to hide from themselves
From thier truths
Or maybe in search of something to fill the void
I love the way that after so long we still remember
And in rememberence it shall be
You turnt our lives upside down
Sticking us together
One strand of friendship
One doff of the hat
One large slice of chocolate cake
And a friendly smile and conversation
At the end of the day
When you aimlessly wander the archives and start remembering how it used to be ..... Brings a tear to your eye and an ache to your heart ... X
 Jan 2017
Rai
You twisted my words
How nicely you made it seem
As though I was the one
Who had turned to ice before your heart had melted
Sorry is a strange land
It lives somewhere between denial and acceptance
Is a truth worth the burdon of unhappiness
I will take back all that was mine
And hold my own face in my hands
Your palms were so warm for a while
against my tender skin
which beckoned for the touch of another
Tears fall
But im glad to be back in my own skin once more
I will turn the music up far too loud
And dance in my mind to the journey that will now begin
Never an ending to this madness
Thank you
Im not sure what ive learnt this time around
But thankyou all the same for
Spending a little time
Drinking a little wine
Dancing beneath the sheets
To the uncurable desire
Known as lust
When the dust settles
You may understand
But I doubt it ...
 Dec 2016
Rai
The cracks in your story are illuminated within reason
And your truths are so transparent
Even I can see beyond the void
And past the screen you hold up to hide behind
Sunsets have no need to hide beauty
Nature basks in truth
It is only mere man that wanders aimlessly
Wanting a place where his truth is hidden
Come I beg
Drown me in your desire for a life less meaningless
Oh how I desire it more my friend
And how the sunsets beauty no longer sets me free from my suffering
Souls scream
Hearts are fragmented, crumbled and left to scatter on the breeze
Your scars are unique
And I my friend will trace with my finger tip along each one
Like a dot to dot
And you will show me your truths
You have tried to stay hidden
But I'm sorry you have failed
There are a few
We are special
We are unique
Maybe we are your scars made into reality
Maybe we are your madness running wild
Write a story of unburdened love
Create an art piece
Before it crumbles
What was it that you desired?
Who were you portraying before you lost self to the breeze?
You may like to believe my friend that transparency does not exist
That your not made of glass
That you will not break
But break we must at the end of every day
So that tomorrow in sunrise the sharp edges may morph and surrender
Once more hiding within
The man excapes into the sunrise too fearful
And yet does not realise
The truth before his own eyes
Inspired by a friends write
 Nov 2016
Rai
I see you

Please don't stand too close
The devil has broken free from the shackles of his cage and is threatening
To take from me anyone that comes near


Stepping back quietly with grace would be your best option
But even then I can't promise your get out of this in one whole piece


Fragmented pieces falling
You crumble at my feet

If only you'd listened

The devil within
The Angel within
He fell
In darkness as in the light
As in day
As in night


Shh place your finger to your lips
Silence breads contempt you say
But I say it just serves to keep you safe


In shadows we find ourselves
As sunrise appears
We thank god we have survived
 Nov 2016
Rai
The ever optimistic fool sits with sapphire teals rolling frantically from eyes which see too much
The heart that has been torn, tread upon and dragged in the dust can not bare the burden
So it rips apart,spilling it's ragged contents Into the gutter
There is nowhere left to run and your not really sure there's a need to leave
But a return back from this pessimism would be a delightful notion
As thoughts twist and turn
Like a never ending last spin on your noisy washer
Faster, more fragmented, frantic and free
The land has been freshly ploughed
The arguments are over
You have used your voice so as not to be seen as invisible
You may have spilled it all and god knows where we go from here
But it's certain that we will take not a step backwards in our endevour to be heard
Scratch an itch and it will get bigger
Keep picking at my scars and I will not be able to give you my free thinking happy mask that I manage to wear so well
So well indeed that I truly forgot this part of me ever existed
To stand upon the highest hill in the middle of a storm that could match my own
To meet my match in natures force
This alone will help me sleep
The dreams are so haunting
And I'm drowning in the neglectful thoughtlessness of  clowns
 May 2016
Rai
She hangs the memories of what could of been back on the crooked shelf
Once a silence reigned where now the roaring of lions frequents her moments
To have to hold to free to let go to live to die to just be one self in a chaotic stage play
Hold her hand a while
Trace the veins which feed her soul , mind and body
She is not perfect
But somehow close for all her faults
You should of took it further
She would of held you for a life time
Fear is placed where humans dare not tread
Your  eyes swim with confusion
She can smooth the waters if only you could slow down
She has the music of mermaids and the power of the shaman
You let that go at the dark hour when you stopped and forgot to breathe
She held you there
Then you turned and walked away
Head held low as you fell in love with others who only brought you to your knees
Years passing
lovers come and go
She holds a small corner
Not in wanting but in yearning for
Not in yearning but in a knowingness
Once she loves she never forgets the taste upon her tongue
Pass by
Walk on
Head low
No more tears fall from these eyes
Love is gone
Now all there is a selfless understanding of belonging to one self
Connections blocked
 Oct 2015
Rai
Your face is etched with grey
And yet I love the smile you place on your lips at times
Your heart is sketched in silver hues
But I am able to swim the oceans of those deep blue eyes
Skin deep emotion
Leaves you naked to me
I will wrap you in my essence
And hold you close
 Oct 2015
Rai
I love too hard
I feel too much
And
In
   The
        End
              I
              Fall
                   Away
                           Silently.
                                     Aching
                                               Heart,
                                                        Fr­azzled
                                                          ­          Mind,
Returning only when I have managed to find a balance
My own sweet equilibrium
*.....
Just bored and playing with words
 Oct 2015
Rai
Spiralling out of control in a downhill motion
Longing for anxiety to cease
This usual peaceful heart is beating irregularly
Unable to hold on to the slippery edge of reality in which one finds oneself
All she wants is for someone to really understand the stirrings of her soul
But alas no one comes close
A lover who never puts himself on the line
Everything set in stone because he does not like the human race that much at all
But she needs to feel needed
I guess that's what he lacks
He thinks she is an independent lady
Happy in her own skin
able to do without his arms to hold her as she leaves the last breath of the day behind her
He is not the one
That scares her because she wanted so much this time for this to be real
Hold fire for she is creating this
She knows better
But the yearnings inside are screaming
SCREAMING
and its tearing her apart
Some times we feel anxious but don't actually know why .. today is one of those kind of days
 Aug 2015
Rai
You are beautifully etched below my skin line
Every flaw
Every silence felt within my void of emotions
Transparent and naked
Taking a finger you draw my face up to look at the sun that sets
within you
Your eyes are multifaceted and delicious
Like oceans that I want to bathe within
Climbing every wave higher than the last
Breathe taking
thirst quenching
Oh my
I am over my own head here
Whirling between fear and excitement
Lust, love and pain hold me hostage
I am ******* in the fortress of my mind
And I never will care if I am to stay here for eternity
I surrender my power
I breath pure ecstasy and release
In mine minds eye
My muse beckons for beautiful words and a love that is real
So here I have given my all
My everything
When morning comes
The sunrise will be my lover
The swaying grass will stroke my cheek
The warm breeze of summer will caress my silken skin
My heart will be full of another days desire
My life is my love
And my love is my life
I shall create something deep
Something worthy of my self
Every time I give my love to people who can not see my soul and it hurts
 Aug 2015
KellzKitty
Anger built up inside me
Guilt is there as well
Sadness is consuming
Tears starting to swell
Regret is flowing through me
Deep inside I feel
Ive pricked my finger on the needle
Of my hatreds spinning wheel
 Oct 2014
Rai
A moment closer
To all I ever felt I deserved*

**A deserved moment
closer to all I ever felt
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