Peter, my closest friend,
Worries.
Name it - he worries.
Shows it too,
In everything:
Cause I worry
Bout everything, he frets.
What advice can I offer:
Don't use Compound W.

The ace of hearts
sat down at the table
feeling oh so confident
stares at the three of spades
in his pocket

While the king of diamonds
eyes his diamond queen
in his mind
the ten
hides behind the jack

The queens figured
tonight was the night
they were going to get laid

The deuces were quietly weeping
wondering if another deuce
on the table was going to be played

The ace of hearts
his heart was racing
as the ace of spades
made its way
followed by the ace of diamonds
and a diamond three
a rare drop
was all he could say.

The king of diamonds
to his court he smiled
as the deuce of diamonds
sparkled on the table

The queens, they trembled
wondered if the only thing getting laid
was their heads on the chopping block
this day

The third deuce had joined the pair
his heart was lifted
but still in despair
the deuces looked down the river forlornly
Many have lost it all for more

The ace of hearts was feeling cocky
a warm fullness washed over him
he looked out at his life
figured all he could do was win
he believed in love
sometimes you gotta go
all in
he smiled as he waited at the dock of the river

The king still flushed with diamonds galore
their sparkles blinded him
he joined the ace in the fog
it was either this or that
there were no more games to play

Now faced with two endings
which path to take

The queens had
had enough
on the table they folded
into a fatal swoon

Three deuces
he wavered
his hands were trembling
the game ain't over until
the rent money is gone

Gamblers
some are optimists
some are realists
some are looking for salvation
some are going to play
until they have no more left to pay
looking for death, so they say
driven by compulsions rage

all ask the question
is
this a streak or a slump?

Which was the deuces on this day?
The optimist joins the fray
The realist he folds goes on home to play another day,
All pray.

On your playing field
so far away
what is the play?
Which are you today?

As many endings
as there are
combinations of cards
sometimes it even rains frogs

The room was quiet
the aces full
the king flushing
three deuces - waiting
what to do?
I guess I am the optimist today
the sun is shining after five days of rain

A distant sight
down the river came
as the two of clubs
was beating the water's edge
running and laughing
all the way.

I wake up to the morning groaning
The moment I raise my head
Never heed the daily warning
You'd be better off staying in bed

I stumble my way to the mirror
The lines on my face look like a road map
That has taken me from there to here
Although I can't remember where that is at

What parts don't droop are sagging
Making their way to places unknown
A matter that's not worth laughing
When was it that I got so old

No longer can I tie my shoes
But thanks to the magic of Velcro
I used to only gum my food
But thanks to new teeth from an AARP loan

I have both a cane and walker
Depends on the mood my limbs are in
I used to be as limber as Luke Skywalker
Now I'm only as angry as a scene from Gunga Din

Believe me I used to be hot in my day
Now everywhere I go I'm cold
Not sure I asked but by the way
When was it that I got so old

It's an asset to  be taciturn,
Reticent, laconic, terse,
And to the point.
I consider myself such,
So listen...
Do I have a story for you.
It was a dark and stormy night;
The wind howled destruction
Coming across...

You
   can             shine
a     light
          on        me;
          yes      please
            brighten                    up
    my                   day
           just send
   five
   bucks
    my
    way.

Lilian hit eighty-five,
Shot nine holes for forty-eight;
Drives her car not to be late.
Man alive, she's eighty-five.
That's not far off, Bro,
A few thousand weeks,
I ride my Shadow,
Shoot thirty-eight.
That's not far off, Sis,
A few thousand hits,
So I'm shooting for eighty-six,
Playing with my ***** and sticks.

And I will not discuss evolution
Or fairytales with you
You are much to important to me
To be monkeying around with
And I would go bananas if I lost you
And I swear by my ancestor's bones
I will not provoke you

Waah , Waah , Waa Waah !
Ooh ! Ooh ! Ooh !

Translated means , "I've gone ape over you !"
Come swing with me on the vines of life
Everyday will be bananas and honey
We can sleep in the tree tops
Gaze at the stars
And pick each other's fleas
Come on baby , Please !

.

I sought the opinion
of a sharp dressed guy
selling sunbeams
by the side of the road

He told me
if I wanted to succeed
I should sell sunglasses
across the street

I took his advice
and as soon as I opened
he held a huge sale
on clouds

Looking over at me
he winked, pointed up
and the rains came…
I hate salesman