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 Mar 2014
Rai
I knew when I woke up this morning
  That I wanted to do something special
I wanted to entice you
  And your taste buds seemed the perfect place to start

I told you dinner would be at 6
  You said
Fine love now I'm going to be late for work
  I have a late meeting but I promise not to be late
See you at six
  Love you

  A new emotion was rising in my stomach
Or was it an old one revisited
  I planned
Not a natural cook
  But I can whip up a good feed when I need to

  I exceeded myself
I knew you would love it
  I wanted to see you smiling back at me
Knowing
  Just knowing Id made this special just for you

  Kids at the cinema
Time to spend
   Together
  Little does that happen now a days

  So I'm sitting here waiting
Contemplating what's more important than this
  Forgetting you don't understand because your not inside my head
  Your not answering the phone
Are you in traffic
  I wait
Then wait some more
  I sit trying to push aside the hurt
The rejection
  I feel like a child inside
I feel vulnerable
  Im quite out of control

  I eat in silence
No smiling face looking back at me
  I just wanted to see the twinkle in your eye

  You come in hours late
  The meal stale and congealing on the plate
  I think you tried to say sorry
But I feel numb inside
  So stay silent

I think I heard you weep
  I didn't want to make you sad
But have no control and don't know how to comfort
  Whilst Im in this hurting zone

  When you fell asleep tonight I kissed your forehead
  I know your busy
  I just need you
I love the very ground that you stand on
And I can feel the cracks steadily forming
This a comeback to Helens poem 'I missed you by several hours' sometimes lack of communication lets us down, people don't know what's going on inside your head unless you tell them, most of us have not learnt how to mind read ... not quite anyway x
 Oct 2013
Roger Turner - Poet
Looking at the night time sky
Staring at the stars
counting all that we can see
Serenaded by the cars
clouded sky and rainy nights
full moon and sometimes none
I cherish counting stars with you
You are my only one

Making wishes on the shooting ones
Knowing what we see is gone
In the twinkle of an instant
Their light may now be done
In the darkness of a moon filled night
Lying, counting stars with you
It doesn't matter how high we get
we may even just see two


Imagine, if there's someone there
Counting stars, and we are one
That they look at and imagine
On the far side of the sun
thinking, what is going on
Way out there in space
counting stars, like I with you
brings a smile to my face

Lying here just holding hands
And counting stars we see
Just knowing that this point in time
belongs to you and me
counting some we do not see
A speck in outer space
Lying, counting stars with you
this is my favorite place
 Sep 2013
Roger Turner - Poet
Do you remember days gone by
When car songs ruled the radio
Think about the passing years
Where did these songs all go?
Little Honda, Duece Coupe
I miss my GTO
I miss the beach boy harmony
Where did the car songs go?

The Little Old Lady From Pasadena
My Hot Rod Lincoln...oh
Daddy took my t-bird away
Where did my car songs go?

Way back in the sixties
The car song, it was boss
Where has the music travelled
It's this generations loss

Do you remember days gone by
When car songs ruled the radio
Think about the passing years
Where did these songs all go?
Little Honda, Duece Coupe
I miss my GTO
I miss the beach boy harmony
Where did the car songs go?


Hot Rods, and dune buggies
The cars would go go go
Where are the car songs hiding
Does anybody know?

I miss my barracuda
My "Woody"  was the bomb
There's nothing out there like it
Where has the car song gone?

The music they are playing
Just puts me fast asleep
I need to hear my car song
No more "Rolling In The Deep"

Do you remember days gone by
When car songs ruled the radio
Think about the passing years
Where did these songs all go?
Little Honda, Duece Coupe
I miss my GTO
I miss the beach boy harmony
Where did the car songs go?
 Jul 2013
Alicia D Clarke
Give me your soul.
I will lock it away.

To the depths of hell I will take it.
Only returning to give you false hope.

Give me your heart
I will keep it in my pocket.

Suffocating it until it loves only me.
I am your only friend.

Give me your life
I shall guard it.

No food shall enter
Only the worthless eat.

Give me you
to starve and hold forever.

Quietly killing you
thinner each day.

I shall win.
 May 2013
Alicia D Clarke
They tell us to accept the skin we're in,
But how can I accept what society makes feel like a sin?
Gross to be bigger than a size one or two,
Does that sound realistic? Not to me, to you?
Purged souls on countless carbs of animosity,
The taste of self hate rich and buttery.
Magazines don't help, if only looks could ****,
Girls are starving and dying, I promise you not just for the thrill.
Hated and disgusted by their very own reflection,
Don't try and stop them it's a battle you'll never win.
Only bones can make them happy,
White porcelain devils flush their dignity gladly.
True selves lost with every vigorous flush,
The feeling so high, their own personal rush.
With every single flush they soon fade away,
Ask me how I know,
I was once that way.
 May 2013
Rickie Louis
I could tell you of a story, of this flower that I saw.
Growing in a little crack, this flower had it all.
It's beauty got me thinking, how ****** we forget.
It isn't where we come from, it's that we never quit.
The struggles that this flower faced, no quiver nor a fall.
It rose above the chances,
through this crack that was so small.
The only will was life, and the chance that it may "be".
Exist in ways intended, and truly live as free.
This dandelions beauty, gives me the strength to know,
content with where I'm rooted, 
 and will to always grow.
 Mar 2013
Alicia D Clarke
They tell us to live our lives
but they give us so little time to do just that
placed under the constant constraint of rules and laws
how is that living?
living is to be free
but there is no time for that.
living is to be alive in all ways
but they give us no time for that.
when life stops my ticking clock,
will i be satisfied?
satisfied with every tick mark,
every minute on that clock,
because in those minute marks
are countless nights of fun, laughter, and heartbreak,
in those minutes,
I lived.
but will the minutes i spent doing what i was told to do,
or even made to do take over?
will they outweigh the times i was truly free?
will any of it matter?
if only i could stop my ticking clock to go back and count,
count and get an overall calculation.
but i keep living.
never stopping until my clock stops.
no time to go back.
When the girl with sunken eyes
and white lips mutters to herself on
the subway, remind her that there are
plenty of things to worry about, but for her,
losing weight isn't one of them.

When she gets off at your stop,
invite her for coffee. Even if her
eyes are throwing daggers at you,
and even if every instinct in a normal person
would be yelling that her track marks are just that,
track marks, and for all you know
she might just shove a letter opener into
your stomach for the contents of your pockets.
A few bucks for another spoonful of hell.

Lace your fingers in hers after she reluctantly
agrees, and without missing a beat,
talk about how no girl should pass up free coffee
or free alcohol. After all, there is the
economy to think about.

Gossip to her about people you
pass on the street, and when she settles
into her signature silence, tell her about
how you love to make up life stories
for the people you see outside your
apartment window, and how you've never
admitted that to anyone else.

When she leaves, after a warm vanilla latte
and two cinnamon bagels, tell her that
you should do this again sometime,
and make plans to meet her again next week.

When next week rolls around, don't be
surprised to see your alley rat friend
missing.  Instead, smile and think about
all the important reasons she couldn't make it.
Like staying in to finish a term paper for law school,
or picking up an extra shift at the local volunteer hospital.

Then turn to the little boy next to you,
scared, *****, and without parents,
and offer to walk him to the local church center.
Because these days, no one should have to feel alone.
Written late at night, finished the next morning. Love to hear what you think, especially on the title and the last few lines.

EDITTED!!
 Mar 2013
Alicia D Clarke
The inner pounding in my chest has stopped.
My heart is broken.
regret and self pity fill me with vile sensations.
I want only to cease the pain it continues to bring me in the darkest hour of night.
When I am alone with my thoughts.
A pain that was once joy throbbing inside of me.
Now a pain that kills me slowly with each pump of blood.
My heart a tool of my very own self destruction.
I must destroy it.
Yet I continue to live with it
A daily reminder that I must not end.
A daily reminder that you're slowly killing me.
Inside and out.
 Mar 2013
Alicia D Clarke
a life drowned in music
smothered in depression
and kept in the shadow of my past mistakes.
relating to every word some black man spits,
through the radio our hearts are connected.
I feel every beat in the bass as a stab to my heart.
talking about getting money, ******* women,
and life on the streets.
Maybe we aren't so different after all.
His streets my hallways,
his money my dream,
his women my regrets,
his words my swag.
I rock to the beat of struggle and pain,
a mixed boys struggle,
a life with no end.
Alone? not really.
But a feeling so natural it's comfortable,
a feeling I hate, yet its the only thing that lets me know I'm alive.
A beat so unique once it's heard you'll never forget it
A beat that gets stuck in your head and won't ever come out
This beat is me.
For Breland
 Mar 2013
Alicia D Clarke
If only.
If only I could go back and save your life.
If only I could go back and tell you I loved you.
If only I could go back and take the phone out of your hands so you would see the road.
If only I could change the color of the stoplights.
If only I could have made the light green and not red.
If only I could go back and stop the truck from hitting you.
If only I could go back and stop time.
If only there was a way to bring you back.
If only.
Looking back, we never saw this coming.

Our roller blades had a relationship
with the warm summer ground on Friday
nights when our parents would gather
over margaritas and wine; an escape hatch from
the 9 to 5 work week. We killed fireflies the
way we chew on hearts of the ones we love,
rubbing their luminescent bulbs on
the toes of our shoes so that our steps
might light up the night for just a little
bit longer and maybe, just maybe,
we could hold off on growing up.

Looking back, we all  wish we could have stayed.

But bare foot soccer on concrete turned into
binge drinking, and alcohol poisoning
and neighborhood gatherings stopped being
kind.  We swapped Air Heads and Pokemon
cards for flavored condoms and a drivers
license, only to find that everything
we threw away was worth so much more
than the high school bullies, and boys with roofies,
and the girls with tears running down into
their tissue stuffed chests.  We gave
up our golden years, and to make up for it
we stuff Prozac down our throats with a
desperate belief that childhood happiness
can be found in an orange pharmacy bottle.
Hoping, I think, that someone will come along
and tell us we've done everything right,
and would we, for our reward, like our innocence returned.

Looking back, I guess we just couldn't comprehend.

We never knew that every day the pages turned
and we were slowly losing our love of fun dip
and cheap private-school valentines.  We were
starting to forget the pride that came with
the title of King in foursquare,  or the way
it felt to let go and jump from the highest point
of the swing.   Instead we staked out cafeteria
seats and tried to figure out why having
blonde highlights, or contacts instead of glasses
suddenly made you better than everyone else.

Looking back, it all seems so sweet.
Then again, they say hindsight is 20/20.
Barely edited it, so still kind of rough.

EDITED
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