And after years of abuse
I'm still the one ending up feeling guilty
And wondering if he was right
And this was all just in my head

"what do you wanna do, Liana?"
My mom asks me

"Death"
I respond


"Do you want to eat something?"

"No, I just want to die"


"What are you thinking about?"

"My death"

She laughs
Smiles
She doesn't understand
She doesn't want to understand I'm not joking
When I'm telling her

"What do you want to do tomorrow?"
She asks

"I don't want a tomorrow. I want to die"
I answer

She giggles
"That's not an option" she chuckles
She doesn't know

More meds
And more meds
Keep growing and shrinking
Changing
But never helping
At least never helping enough
I don't think pills are the answer
I think I just need a new head
Or maybe itd be better if I were dead

Your smile brightens the room,  
like morning light spilling  
through open windows,  
chasing shadows into corners.  

It weaves warmth  
into the fabric of the day,  
each laugh a gentle ripple,  
softening edges of worry.  

In that glow,  
the world feels smaller,  
and hope sways  
like a flower dancing in the breeze.

She was 'Autumn'—
warm, but always leaving
A soul stitched from golden light
and goodbyes she never stopped grieving

He was 'Winter'—
quiet, distant,
carving silence into the world
like someone used to resistance

They met
in the blur between late November
when leaves forget to hold on
and snow begins to remember
She smiled like the last fire in a cabin
He stared like someone who knew
the cost of warmth
and what it meant to lose it too soon

She spoke in colors—
scarlets and golds
words that cracked like twigs
but healed like poems never told
He answered in stillness
like frost on glass,
afraid that every touch
would make him shatter at last

But even frost can soften
Even storms can learn to stay
And slowly
she didn’t run
and he didn’t push her away
He let her fall apart in his arms
like leaves too tired to pretend
and she let his cold truth hold her—
not to fix
but to mend

They didn’t belong—
not in the way seasons are told
but somehow, in the ache of each other
they began to unfold

And there
in a world where nothing was meant to last
where autumn leaves and snowflakes
both belong to the past—
they built something quiet
something unknown—
a rhythm,
a whisper,
a heartbeat for a home.


Erennwrites

grass beneath my feet
sun burning my skin
but I don’t care about hurting my chin
I’m just running while I’m still five feet

It’s still fun to play hide and seek
I’m not hiding yet just for the sake of it
and I’m not worried I will lose my grin
my mouth was never close to a fist

and I’ll never get to shout so loud
or get that safe and sound
like in the backward of my aunts house.

My bones have already cracked now
I don’t frolic, I don’t sprout,
don’t visit
The backward of my aunts house.

Kneeling at your headstone
Where nature stopped mourning
The grass has grown tall here and
Your silence strong.
I know you’re free from the body
And the sins of our fathers
Chiseled on dry bones
But my flesh begs for your return
I dreamed you are sleeping
A polarized bad dream
Where I have to let go
But  I’ll just wake you now
I’ll give you my breath
To breath in
To open your eyes
I’ll give you my all
For the chance to stand near you
And shed tears of forgiveness
But I don’t want you to fall.
You will always be safe here
Safe in this song
May you live In this poem
As the shadows grow long.