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 Feb 2019
Lexie
It had been a long time since she had struggled to fall asleep
Her poor brain though to much of things that did not belong in her head
Things she had not thought in a while
Her heart was sore and her spirit weary
But her eyes so wide open they were like the wings of a hawk
Though she did not feel much like flying
She was low.
Not as low as she had been before, but still there she was, laying in the ground.
I will caution you, a heart is a delicate thing to hold.
Even more delicate to keep it in your chest, for many will try to rip it out of its cage.
There is life, and light even among the darkest of deaths, and truth in the boldest face lies.
Yet you do not return to me as you were before.
Innocent.
Though I am the same, I am pulled.
In the same direction as I have been many times before.
Yet this time I do not struggle, for the same wind blows against different sails and the same flames fuel the fires that did mine.
We are the same, but not one.
And I am sorry, that that is allowed.
Because the water held by the bucket could so easily quench the thirst; and the oars could just as quickly bring the boat to a different shore.
A lass that is not the way things are, nor the way they have ever been, as they should be.

You have been found lacking.
 Feb 2019
Lexie
Grasp my jagged edges
Climb into my skin and walk around
I would caution you
Not to get to familiar
There are places even I won't go
Could you please tell me what you find
I have felt empty for ages
Whatever you find is yours
Take a piece if me with you
I will not be far behind
 Feb 2019
Lexie
Here I am
With my head between my hands
Trying to love you with the wrong blood type

I was hungry!
You were starving


Neither of us would slice up our stubbornness to feed the wolves in our minds
For fear
For fright
Of bleeding fingers
Doing anything to avoid our hands being shaken with teeth
They hurt
But drip little more
Than the ichor of the gods in the sky
 Feb 2019
Lexie
Maybe it was just our part of the world caving in on its self
I screamed loud enough for all of us
I don't save much of my breath
For tomorrow's end of the world
 Feb 2019
Lexie
For someone who could of passed as Christ
I've never seen anyone act less like God
 Feb 2019
Lexie
You know, even in all my honesty, I couldn't tell you if I do this **** right
I'm just trying
 Feb 2019
Lexie
She who is first and last of her name
Cries out!
She is lain in the earth, whom has longed to hold her again
As quickly as she is put to rest
Enveloped in her first love
How sweet is morning
When you know death will come
 Feb 2019
Lexie
We bottled up the ashes of our young souls
Put them into the night
For the moon to drink herself happy
The rĂ³se of our youth
Oh sweet it is to those who never die
 Feb 2019
Lexie
I think I woke up today
Just to hate all the songs on the radio
Yet somehow
I remain
Neighbors with to the emotionless
 Feb 2019
Lexie
I was the last flower blooming in spring
Until your teaching
I knew not what leaving was
I boarded our boat
Set sail upon a sea of dreams
Darkness fell quickly
Our sea of dreams became nightmares
Our boat, stitched together with trust
Fell away, as we fell apart
Swimming in nightmares
Was not something I was prepared for
These are not the apple juice box memories of my childhood
This is a grown me, trying to find the right band aids
For the right wounds, always with the wrong people
Holding hands is warmth, I needed treading water
Holding my breath, for hours at a time
While the people who said they loved me, loved each other, and loved God
Screamed their ignorance into the walls of our house
Words fasten themselves to the studs of the walls, slip into the cracks of the floor
Ghosts you wanted in the middle of the night never sounded like this
Love is screaming.
A vibration engrained so deeply into me
Another layer in the crust of the earth
Love is screaming.

So, when you whispered your love to me in the water
I did not hear it
I did not learn listening
I did not think it was meant for me
 Feb 2019
Lexie
maybe crawling to oblivion
was not the best idea
as dreams come
others go
yet so much is still the same
the space between us
it has not changed
the solidity that I had
in my resolution
while it wavers
is no more moved
than rocks buried in the earth
if I dug
so deep down, within my own self
I would find little more
than that I carry in the back of my mind
a little colder it might be
but oh the sun, would not touch such
for light brings much to sight
as much as time brings wisdom and understanding
to the back pocket of tomorrows toil
oh wanderer! that you would find peace
and that you would still journey
what more is beyond the hill
that would change a stone mind
 Feb 2019
Lexie
A clenched fist
Leaves no room for dreams
 Feb 2019
Lexie
It was with him, he who told me he would die for me
That I fought most of my battles with
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