He put his claws into me
Boxed me away
In a steel cage
With only walls
No bars
Where darkness subsides
Only when
I shine my own light
Against the scribbled patterns
Of love never found
Etched in the metal
I beg please free me
Even though he can't

The cage in which I've imprisoned myself seems inescapable
The walls seem to be closing in
And my screams are not audible to anyone
No one can free me from this cage save for myself
I've alienated and isolated myself to the point that I can no longer interact with anyone
I'm completely shut
I need to open up
I've loved and lived loneliness for far too long
To the point that now I can't quite enjoy company
There are countless words to speak
So much I want to share
All the pain...The sadness...The joy
So many secrets buried in the deepest corners of my heart
There's so much love that I want to give
Then why can't I seem to do it?
..Why does it seem so difficult to talk to someone?
I need to fight my fears and insecurities
And just communicate
I need to make an effort and reach out to people around me
Or else I fear going completely insane some day...
...Lying all alone in a room full of darkness and my bed of tears
...Wating for my time to bid goodbye

The people we lose to the darkness
Are taken by the hands of loneliness.

“Oh, I’m just…..”
BROKEN~ SAD~ALONE~DEAD~******-UP~INSECURE~NOSTALGIC~SCARED~EXHAUSTED~NUMB­~BETRAYED~JUDGED~BULLIED~FADING~FALLING-APART~
HOLLOW~EMPTY~COLD~­SCARRED~IGNORED~UGLY~
BREAKING-DOWN~NEVER-ENOUGH~NOT-OKAY~A-WASTE­~
HATED

I see birds fly
from this concrete predicament
faces in ****** hands
I hurt and I cry
my hands are wet
trapped
on Pilates plateau
a place where bugs die.

Walking home
at twilight:

the gentle breeze

the lavender sky

the wave goodbye
before the sun
closes its eyes

and the lingering disquiet
of knowing
you're all alone
for the next several blocks

No one catch up to me
I am far too gone

There is no map to place I go
There are no lingering footsteps to where I am

You'd miss me
for a day or two
but then, time fixes it
and I'd be a distant memory