I cannot exist
Away from
Friendship that holds me together
Just about, not because the glue
Won't stick but because
I lost some of the pieces already
And I yearn for such senseless
Wastes of time as
The days
I used to savour and
Used to keep me smiling just
just
About.

My friends aren't therapists,
They're the reason I survive without one
But I need to learn not to
Lean on them
Or when they go
I'll lose balance and come
Crashing
Back
Down

A whisper in my ear
A suggestion: wild
Pointless and fruitless,
But an unending desire,
Her skin shines,
Revealed and displayed
Tempting me,
The hungered denied,
But a hint offered,
A glimmer of quenched thirst
But stolen so quickly,
Leaving me longing,
Again.

We sat across, hands held
And told each other our past
And I admitted to myself
My failings, my fear,
And cried in her arms,
Releasing the panic,
Letting her voice soothe me,
Her closeness ease the trembling
That takes over me so quickly,
She says I can love,
She says I must love myself,
That I matter,
And then I knew for sure,
Where my shattered heart lies.

This is an offering -
Of no expected return,
No bargain, no barter,
No deal, no debts,
Here: take my words.
All of them.
They are yours.
If nothing feels better, I want to make that last
So these words can rest in your mind when it's dark,
Rest in your hands when you're shaking,
Or your heart when it's breaking.
And when you run out -
I'll write you more.

Following some random impulse,
We bought and shared a piece of bread,
I had no reason to be there, or even close,
I'd already left once and come back,
What kept me from home, I can't say,
But my reward for illogical action,
A brighter night, a simpler night.

She knows how to ask and get,
But I love giving.
She knows when I need to forget
The hell I'm living.
She knows where to go
To escape it all
She knows how to know
When I'm about to fall.
She knows how to share her pain,
So I can share mine.
She knows how to love the rain,
But stay inside.
She knows when all I need,
Is a meal and a break.
And she knows how I feel,
But that's okay.

Take the pieces of my broken heart,
If you want them,
Take each tear-drop as I fall apart,
If you want them,
Take all the words I wrote to you,
If you want them,
Take the songs I sang for you,
If you want them,
Because though I know you cannot belong with me,
I give everything I have to you,
And I hope that will at least make you smile,
Just once

There are few eyes,
Which catch mine as yours,
Call my gaze.

There are few hands,
Which lift me as yours,
From the shade.

There are few smiles,
Which warm me as yours,
Lights a blaze.

There is no heart,
I could love but yours,
Keeps me alive.

Perhaps I could have told you,
In a moment when nothing mattered more,
Than your fingers in my hand,
Or your head on my shoulder.

Perhaps in that mix of dark and laughter.
And shouting to be heard,
I could have let myself,
Say the words in my head.

Perhaps when blinded from consequence,
When fear of failure did not cross my mind,
I could have been honest,
And whispered a kiss on your lips.

Light's touch is known only
When shadows run
And cower, flee and hide

Life seems bright only
When dark times are gone
And no nightmares are held inside

Love is found only
When eyes see more than
The mess that man leaves behind

But dark can be only
A speck in the sun
When she is by my side.

It's strange how bright the darkness shines,
Without logic, or care or sense.
Only laughter remains for us,
And sweet crazy grins,
And skipping for no real reason but,
We can.

It's odd how conversations stream,
From awkward to flowing to too long,
But always they lead to,
Hurting ribs from,
Gold-hazed moments,
Of simple bliss.

It's weird how things end up,
Always the same but never the same,
Journey getting there,
Always a goodbye, departure,
No matter how hard to leave,
Separate again,
We always must,
Until next time.

A whisper,
When I rest in your arms.
A thank you,
As we sway to some far-flung,
Dream of a song.
A promise,
As you tightened your hold,
And as you did I felt,
Safety,
All fear, all tension,
Blurred from focus,
Until they were no more,
Than background.