It happened while listening to a song
An old song i used to hear when
She was around
It happened while somewhere far
Away
The purple blossoms began to die and fall from the tree
And somewhere further she lied next
To another man
Feeling that same howling loneliness
She felt with me
That old song put me right back into
That dim room
Lying next to her
Feeling full
Full of love fear joy and
That underlying loneliness
I am always running  from
I listened to the song and began to
Tear up
I haven't cried in two years
I haven't cried because I haven't
Loved since then
I tried to shake it off and
Focus on the boxing match I was
Watching
But that ******* song kept
******* me back into that dim room
We used to lay around lifeless,jobless,
Starving
Eating a box of Bisquick and each other's souls all day and night
I thought I was missing her
But no, it wasn't that
It was never really love
We were just two wounded spiders
Trying to devour one another
I missed feeling full.
I missed the days without this
Immense burning
I missed the days without death die
Destroy
I missed living *******
The song ended
The  tears never fell
But I came pretty ****** close
Then I felt that ugly humongous
Mountain
Crawl off my chest
I felt the drowning rats climb out of my gut
I walked outside
And watched the purple blossoms
Die from the tree
And the air tasted sweet
And my body felt light
The war is over. The war is over.
My god. I hope my war is over.

i've written sixty eight poems
on adderall in an hour and all of them
are living up and getting married
having kids and taking three week
vacations in the carribean
living fulfilled lives under no control

healthy, fruit dripping naturally
even when things go wrong
they sleep soundly.
i am distracted by how perfect they are
and admire them with jealousy
when i should be asleep

Your eyes, your smile, everything about you,
my attention it seized

But somehow this love that was immense
Slowly got less and less intense

This love for you has now deceased
Finally from a beautiful curse I have been released.

You should know
that death has
many hats
and no honor
and you,
believing yourself inviolate
are his target.

Death covets you
and shining bright
in your own belief system
envisaging unlimited days
memorable sunsets
and a forever future,
are a prize catch

He will approach
smiling
and tip his hat
and you respond cheerily
and too late know
you are marked
for no tomorrow

He wins again
and you go with him
as you have to.

It is so written

Someone spoke the word "love" and it gave me a flashback to watching elephants in the circus so I decided to start teaching goldfish to do backflips as an interesting parlor trick similar to pulling out a deck of cards and always randomly choosing the queen of spades

I have a flashback to a flashback in which someone spoke the word "love" and it reminded me of the Blurred Crusade and a trip to the circus and an elephant graveyard, my brain is a goldfish in a fishbowl (watch me turn) it's like the old parlor trick of pulling out a deck of cards and always randomly choosing the queen of hearts

My intention was never to be reasonable